• Advertisement

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Blue Skies Always Bring Tommorow - Story and Character Profiles

This topic is 5025 days old which is more than the 365 day threshold we allow for new replies. Please post a new topic.

If you intended to correct an error in the post then please contact us.

Recommended Posts

Far in the future Earth has become highly populated and Crime has soared to new Levels. The Hakashima Corperation is now in command of most of the worlds buissness and politics (Like Food, TV, Homes ect.). In search of true power and unlimited energy the Hakashima Corperation Covers the planet with a Giant Metal sheild with solar panels on the outside. The people oddly dont react to this very much yet there are a few who think otherwise. The few that object to this Form groups that hope to Destroy the planet sheild and bring down Hakashima. These ''Destruction Groups'' become popular with protesters and looters and a few of them lose sight of their goal. Yet a few still remain faithful to their cause and for one group (The Sky Eagles) their dream is just a little bit closer than it was before. They hope to bring down the sheild and liberate the planet but most importaint of all is the fact that a Blue sky may Come tommorrow. Characters: Playable Characters ---------------------------------------------------------------- Morgan Reeves: A Femme Fatal on a Mission to Set the Earth Free. (One of the Sky Eagles) - Female Citizen Number 783214: A orphan raised by Hakashima who seeks to repay the pain that they have caused him (NOTE: Hakashima Orphans are givven numbers instead of names and are kept in isolation until they are 18 - there is no adoption program) - Male Jesse Lopez: A good freind of Morgan and a great shot with a AK - Female NPCs ---------------------------------------------------------------- Akira Hakashima: Head of the Hakashima Corperation and enemy of the Sky Eagles. Justin Baxter: Morgans Boyfreind and a spy for Hakashima Kelly Lopez: Jesse''s Younger sister who lives with her in the hideout Abe Henchey: A old man who usualy gives the team a hint on what to do next. Combat ---------------------------------------------------------------- The combat has influances from other games Shenmue: Button Bashing Battles The Bouncer: Level up System Dead or Alive: Smashable Area''s Devil May Cry: Super Fast High Action Battles. Type of Game ---------------------------------------------------------------- Third Person Action Game with A Camera always centered behind you. Comments?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Advertisement
Nice title, but if you surrounded the earth with metal plates all the plants would die from lack of sunshine and then all the people would die from lack of oxygen produced by the plants.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I''m sort of stuck on the shield myself. Why do they need a shield? I''m assuming we''re really talking metal plates, interlocked, in orbit above the planet; probably with some sort of access/entry portals, maybe manned defensively.

Forgetting the amount of metal it would take to create such a "shield" (and for it to be hard to destroy, that would mean an LOT of metal) why do they need it? Why not a series of solar arrays to collect energy from the sun? Doesn''t "Bubblegum Crisis" have a similar structure in space, with a bridge/cable running from the space platform to the planetary surface? You don''t have to encase the planet, that''s overkill.

You need to justify it. Your story-populace may blindly accept it, but you need your readers to accept it - and right now, I don''t think anyone is.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I dunno... seems to me these big evil corporations always try to encase the world in something. Giant metal shields, spirit-energy-draining reactors, operating systems, sentient cow semen...

Still, it hardly makes any sense. For one thing, the lack of natural sunlight would kill plants (as stated before) and would probably do a number on us humans too (I read a study where lack of sunlight would make people really weak and unhealthy). Furthermore, the complete isolation from the sun would cause the temperature to drop pretty fast. And what would happen if there''s evaporation? Hopefully the condensation wouldn''t harm whatever electrical equipment the panels use to generate artificial sunlight and bioengineered plant-gasses...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I''ve had it up to here with these damn rickets!" - Homer J. Simpson

Yeah, cutting off all sunlight would be a world-ending event. Try this for a back story:


---Juicers of the Sun---

In 2100, the world''s human population approaches 10 billion. Biodiversity is down to a few thousand species, mostly parasites, scavengers and man-eating beasts. Poverty is universal, disease is pandemic, crime is rampant and scientific progress grinds to a halt as more primordial needs become salient. Governments are replaced by the more rigidly organized military and corporate entities that have survived, which rule through tyranny and consumerism, respectively. Humans can''t even get their act together long enough to have a nuclear holocaust. Mankind needs a miracle.

In this condition, the solar system is discovered by an interstellar species of technologically advanced prospectors. They gather resources in the outer planets first, but when they find sentient life on earth, and nuclear capable life, at that, they begin implementing measures to gain access to the resources of Earth without sparking off a nuclear conflict that will irradiate the surface of the planet, rendering the resources inaccessible for thousands of years.

First, they infiltrate the highest levels of the corporate-military order of the world, promising profit to the businessmen and weapons to the soldiers. They introduce a new kind of technology, and a new kind of energy, called "sunjuice". It''s contained in a high-density power cell, varying in size from that of a flashlight battery to that of a large building. They only way to fill these cells is by channelling raw radiant energy through a magnetic funnel. The best source of radiant energy in the solar system is the Sun, naturally, and so they set up giant "sun juicers" throughout the surface of the planet, and start to produce technology.

The vast majority of humans are still wholly unaware of the alien influence. They believe that these developments are the result of human research.

Their advances increase the carrying capacity of the land a millionfold. Hunger fades as new agro-generators convert sunjuice directly into a wide variety of human-edible foodstuffs. Poverty fades as a new wealth, combined with advanced systems of redistribution and rationing, brings comfort and plenty to all. When the alien-run "New Earth Government" proposes the erection of a "macro sunjuicer", the proposition is met with unequivocal assent.

The human population is organized into ten megalopoli, massive, multi-level domed cities set on and under the planet''s surface at the vertices of an icosahedron (the polar vertices are left unoccupied). Some are set in stone, others are anchored in oceans. Each has a stable population of one billion inhabitants. Properties of the food supply and the social conditioning program control population growth, and this same control system begins gradually to reduce the overall human population, with the goal of extinction within three generations. The risk of thermonuclear contamination of the planet prevents the aliens from attempting to exterminate humanity in one fell swoop.

Next, construction of the macro sunjuicer begins. It is a sphere of material that totally surrounds the earth, in a high orbit to maximize surface area. It has three layers.

Outer Layer: The outer layer is a simple defense grid, consisting of a few thousand drones. Each has a sunjuicer and nanorepair system, giving them indefinite service time. They spot incoming matter and deflect it with graviton beams, preventing their destruction by asteroids or surface-fired weapons. They also use their gravity pumps to tweak the static orbit of the macrojuicer, when the idiosyncrasies of Earth''s orbit disrupt its perfect alignment.

Middle Layer: The middle layer is a thin energy matrix that serves as a fiber optic funnel, channeling solar radiation to ten foci, each one located directly over a city, at which points the sun''s energy is projected to the surface of the planet as a single coherent beam, to be collected by a macrojuicer that powers the city. Each city is equipped with energy projectors that create and maintain this layer.

Inner Layer: The inner layer is a thin mylar membrane with a 99.8% reflectivity. Any light that is not gathered by the middle layer is reflected back by this one, sending it back through the energy matrix and considerably improving the overall yield of the system. Also maintained by nanobots and the outer layer, this layer is practically indestructible, unless it loses its orbit and falls into the atmosphere to be vaporized in a few moments.

Now the Earth is mostly frozen wasteland, with ten oases, joined by supersonic rail lines. Air, food and water are created from sunjuice using energy-matter converters, and the same technology perfects recycling, making the domed cities entirely self-sufficient. Meanwhile, the aliens are busily strip-mining the poles, and converting that matter to energy beams that they project back to their artificial planet. They also steal the moon in this way, but since biodiversity is gone and any kind of watershed is already frozen, nobody notices.

There, that''s the best I can do in one hour. Not a bad justification for a largely absurd premise, if I do say so myself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Anonymous Poster
Cough, cough, whoops, cough, cough.

I think this VERY storyline has been done, albeit not in a game format.

Point in case:

http://wonderfuldays.co.kr/english/

Very, very similar feeling and motif - especially with the sky idea, and the giant sun-blocking dome thing.

Once again, Korea beats us to the punch...

-Isomer

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Simpsons did it!

Now seriuosly, I thought of it as some sort of 3D Geosphere, where each "vertice" would be a panel, so its not like casing, but rather a mesh, sure, it won''t block the sun completelly but may dim sunlight, think of it as looking thru a semi transparent cloth.

Now I think you should simplify the plot a bit more, you give too much explanation on it, and it really doesn''t tell much, a plot should be short and simple, something like "Aliens take over the world, the only thing that can destroy them is a rare gem that you must find by entering some sacred caves", then you write the actual story, with details and what not, but the plot should be short, and hopefully interesting enoght to have people tell you "ok, I am interested, tell me more"

Cheers!

Aeon Games

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Whoa. Wonderful Days looks awesome! It says 2003, but is it available in the States? I'd like to see that one. It would also be sweet as a video game. Just the little motorcycles and the hoverpods and the rifles would make for a rockin' game.

Edit: Back on topic, simple cloud cover would probably be sufficient. Make it smog or something, so the sky is always a sickly yellow, and reveal that the evil corporation actually generates this smog, not as a byproduct of industryk, but intentionally, to keep people's spirits down and prevent innovation and revolution. You just have to shut down the plants that are cranking it out, and it'll clear up in a month or so. It'll be sort of like the Prozium plants in Equilibrium, but more visual.

[edited by - Iron Chef Carnage on April 14, 2004 11:13:29 AM]

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
*mental flashback to Soylent Green and Logan''s Run*

yeah, I myself haven''t really seen anygames that toy with domes surrounding the earth and stuff. If there is a good way to do it, I would suggest something like this...

The world is finally polluted to the point where people HAVE to live under the cover of domes, which surround the major cities. Smaller towns and the like are abandoned quickly, as everyone moves into the domed cities. In reality, this is a unilateral move by world governments to inhibit the population growth of the civilians. These people were glad to give up their fresh air and green grass, so long as they were given a large apartment, giant TV, etc. Freedom traded for convienence and technology.

Since everyone is now living hapily in the cities, the government now steps in and recultivates the empty world with all the foodstuffs necessary for a world population, that it could not previously have produced because of the lack of space. Would people prefer to live outside of the domes, surrounded by this beautiful garden? of course. In order to keep people living in the domes, the people have all been genetically engineered to not survive outside, be it the sun, the food, or whatever. Plus, security drones, tracking devices, etc.

really, all that is just setting. your plot is your own, so go with that.

my question is, if it will be 3rd person, fast action, etc. etc., how will you do that if the domes are so crowded and the like? I mean, there probably wouldn''t reasonably be bazookas, flamethrowers, etc. right? Just some things to consider...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
OKAY okay...i would like to point out that i have no bloody idea what BubbleGum Crisis is but i will fix the story:

Far in the future Earth has become highly populated and Crime has soared to new Levels.
The Hakashima Corperation is now in command of most of the worlds buissness and politics (Like Food, TV, Homes ect.).
Until a time the people trusted Hakashima until a group of People claimed that Hakashima was Evil and was hiding somthing from the public.
More protests occur and soon the City is plunged into a 24/7 Warzone.
With the Death-Toll rising Hakashima decides that since the world is distracted from Hakashima they can experiment with the earth.
They release a Chemical into the atomosphere and it produces a everlasting layer of thick cloud that takes away the blue of the sky and the true strengh of the sun.
Three years pass and the Riots are getting more extreme and groups of people decide to bring down Hakashima - these groups are now known as Destruction Groups and they are on a course to Bring down Hakashima and right the world once more.
The question is Why Hakashima did this and why do they continue to do nothing for the riots and the sky.
Either way it is assured that A blue sky will bring tommorow.

P.S. I want it to be called ''Blue Skies Always Bring Tommorow'' because It sounds really cool and There has not been a game with such a long title.

Also i want you to ask me what you think of the story on a scale of 1 - 10.
If you have qestion please put them in a Numbered coulum becase i can not be sure of what you really want to ask me somtimes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Allright... first off, appreciation. I''d give this a 4. Perhaps a 3, in fact. I''ll list the reasons why, as well as provide constructive criticism. And plenty of pecan pie.

"Far in the future Earth has become highly populated and Crime has soared to new Levels."
Ok, this is a good start. I can see how a rise in population would easily bring about a rise in anarchy: the more people, the less resources, the greater the want, the harder to control they are.

"The Hakashima Corperation is now in command of most of the worlds buissness and politics (Like Food, TV, Homes ect.)."
Ok, that sounds allright too. Though there''s somewhat of a cliché feel to this (big coorporation mysteriously controls pretty much everything in the world and monopolistic laws don''t so much as raise a finger) but it still works.

"Until a time the people trusted Hakashima until a group of People claimed that Hakashima was Evil and was hiding somthing from the public."
Well, this is where it starts breaking up. Basically, a group of people just step in, say "Hakashima is evil! They''re hiding something!" and then everyone suddently switches sides? What''s Hakashima hiding? You''re making it sound as though the group of people have absolutely no proof nor idea what''s being hidden, but just say there''s a coverup and that gets everyone on their side...

"More protests occur and soon the City is plunged into a 24/7 Warzone."
And, well, the shit just hit the fan around this part of the story... To sum things up, everyone pretty much likes Hakashima, a few people semi-randomly state there''s a coverup, then all hell breaks loose and it''s war. Also, by "The city," I''m guessing you''re saying that Hakashima doesn''t control the entire world? Is this just a localized civil war? What does Hakashima control?

"With the Death-Toll rising Hakashima decides that since the world is distracted from Hakashima they can experiment with the earth."
No, this is getting even worse... People get pissed at them, then fight each other, so Hakashima figures they''ll turn evil and screw with the world. I can''t seem to follow this chain of events at all.

"They release a Chemical into the atomosphere and it produces a everlasting layer of thick cloud that takes away the blue of the sky and the true strengh of the sun."
Meaning? What is "the true strenght" of the sun? Wouldn''t a thick cloud covering the world end up causing a greenhouse effect? Why, frankly, would Hakashima want to do this? A random "oh, we''ll just cover the sky in a thick cloud" course of action? It doesn''t seem like they have any reason to do this, nor that the world would survive for very long if the sky were blanketed in a thick sun-blocking cloud...

"Three years pass and the Riots are getting more extreme and groups of people decide to bring down Hakashima - these groups are now known as Destruction Groups and they are on a course to Bring down Hakashima and right the world once more."
But the attention was drawn away from Hakashima. Weren''t the riots caused by hyperactive kiddies learning that there''s been a proofless-coverup and then rioting for no reason? Why go after Hakashima when so little focus has been put on them?

"The question is Why Hakashima did this and why do they continue to do nothing for the riots and the sky."
Exactly...

"I want it to be called ''Blue Skies Always Bring Tommorow'' because It sounds really cool and There has not been a game with such a long title."
You do realize that a cool title has absolutely nothing to do with a good, realistic, working storyline?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Thanks RuneLancer for the tips.

When i said ''True Strengh of The sun i mean that it would just look cloudy out and the suns light would be toned down (Just like when its cloudy).


I know the Evil coperation thing has been done before (Final Fantasy VII, The Bouncer and Fighting Force) but even so i may change it later.

And Hakashima is hiding somthing.
I just have not got to that yet.

Please stay tuned

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Chasis, from my experience with your posts, you often don''t complete your stories. To see what I''m talking about, check the last topic you posted. It ends with you promising to clear up all the mystery and reveal part one of the story. You do this a lot with your stories. We''re not the people you should be hiding the plot twists from. The people on this forum are here to help you with your writing, and they can''t really do that unless you reveal your whole story the entire way through (well okay, they could help you anyway, but it helps them and you more if you complete the story). I''m not saying you need to write out the entire book. Just give an overview of the entire story arc with all of the important details listed. Things like why the Hakashima are doing this elaborate scheme are important. Normally you might not need to bother mentioning the reason, but because you have them doing something so unreasonable and confusing, you should list the secret reason why.
Anyway, I do enjoy your "passion" for writing stories. Keep actively trying to hone your skills, it''s impressive to see how hard (or at least how often) you try.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I agree with BrentBarrett: you shouldn''t keep plot twists away from people you want to help you revise and polish your story. As it is, it sounds like you don''t quite know where you''re going with this yet, but have some ideas (ie, you''re planning on having Hakashima covering up something major, but don''t know yet).

And, frankly, if we don''t know what''s going on behind the scenes, we can''t quite analyze what you give us. It''s hard to find a story realistic if what we''re given is only a small part of it. Currently, it sounds like Hakashima decided to blanket the world in smog just for the fun of it, and that makes absolutely no sense and holds zero credibility.

...Well, they did it in the Simpsons... And Butters was planning on doing it in South Park until they pointed out to him that the Simpsons did it before... Ahem.

My point is, don''t hide things that are vital to understanding the story if you want us to review it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Okay I have (phew) Changed the story once Again.

Far in the Future Pollution has Soared to new levels,
The mass of Fumes and Smoke have taken the toll on the sky and changed it forever.
First The sky went from Blue to Grey and Finally to A horrible Black.
The Sun was blocked out and the Temperatures began to drop.
Vegitation began to die but thankfully Synthetic foods were easily mass produced Averting world hunger.
Soon after the sky ''died'' a Scientist named Dr Simon Law Developed a New Formula that could Destroy the layer of Pollution around the earth but Before he could Finish it he Vanished Without a Trace.
The people were scared and claimed that God had set the Rapture upon man for the Sins they had Commited.
Riots and Looting Began to soar and Crime is now more common than walking!.
But there are a few who choose to stop this Disaster and Reclaim the earth for the people who live in it.
These ''Harmony Groups'' Have now sprung up all over the world and are trying to clean up the world.
One of the groups (The ReaL) have decided to do the impossible and try to Find Dr Law and restore the sky to it''s true glory.

Stop Crime
Help People
Kick Ass
Save The Sky - The Impossible..yet...they may Bring Tommorow a Blue Sky.

What do you thing of Re-Write Number Three?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Wouldn''t it be better to, y''know, work on one of your already existing storylines and hammer out the bugs negative criticism has brought and expanding on the good parts positive criticism gave out instead of starting over every time?

Anyhow...

Far in the Future Pollution has Soared to new levels,
Sounds good; the pollution-soaked futuristic world is a slightly cliché setting (like the post-apocalyptic future one) but a working concept nevertheless.

Vegitation began to die but thankfully Synthetic foods were easily mass produced Averting world hunger.
The point is, what about oxygen? Plants transform CO2 into oxygen. Food isn''t much of a concern when you have no air to breath.

Before he could Finish it he Vanished Without a Trace.
Eh, why? What caused him to vanish? Sounds to me when you hold THE answer to solving the world''s problems in your hands, you don''t just wander off and take a vacation or something. Furthermore, if this is the overall goal of the game (finding the dude), what''s to stop him from just completing his experiment flat out without the player''s assistance? "Oh, thank god you people found me! I was lost in this... uh... brothel... ahem. Yes, I''ll save the world and stuff with my product, don''t worry, just gimme a sec..."

The people were scared and claimed that God had set the Rapture upon man for the Sins they had Commited.
Religion having such a strong grip on people in the future? Not very likely. Seriously, though, your humans would have to be pretty dumb to blame this on God. Even now, with our not-so-futuristic technology, we can tell what pollution is responsible for and not.

Riots and Looting Began to soar and Crime is now more common than walking!
So... it''s dark and cold, so absolute anarchy runs rampant and there''s no longer any law. I dunno... there doesn''t seem to be a very strong link there. Panic would cause it, but I hardly think this is something that happened overnight. People would have time to adapt. "Sigh, the sky''s getting so dark. What a pity, our children will never see the light of day..." "Hey, dude..." "Yeah?" "Screw this shit, let''s panic and go on riots!" "Oh, sweet! I''m with you, man! :D"

One of the groups (The ReaL)
Ok, this is absolutely unrelated to the story and just nitpicking, but I have a serious problem with this. What kind of name is that? It''s not so much the name as the spelling that annoys me. This just sounds like a blantant ripoff of FF8''s "SeeD" and doesn''t seem to have any actual meaning. Is it an acronym? Is there any significance behind it? At least FF8 justified it by having the "SeeD" organization come from academies called "Gardens" but even that has a rather lame feel to it. There''s just no meaning behind the name nor the awkward capitalization...

Overall, I think you should pick one of your stories and work on it instead of ditching them everytime something comes up and starting anew. They all have potential, but if you throw away a rough draft and never move on to the final copy until your draft is 100% fine the first time through, things''ll never get done...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
First of All the name for the Group (The ReaL) is A Typo.
I is supposed to be ''The Real Lie''.

''think you should pick one of your stories and work on it instead of ditching them everytime something comes up and starting anew.''

Well RuneLancer I would like to point out that i am Only 16 and on Wednesday i put up a notice on my other thread saying that i was putting the The story on hold as i Need more time to write it.
But dont get me wrong - I love writing games and i like to put up My Ideas on this board when they come to me.
I am trying my best - At least give me that

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I''m not trying to bring you down; I admire people putting effort in their work. I''m 19, myself, and I''ve been working on projects of my own ever since, heck, as long as I can remember.

What I''m trying to say is that you seem to do this sort of thing quite often. You''ll start a thread or a story, work on it, end up having a few problems pointed out in your story, then you''ll either start a new thread or completely rewrite the entire story in a fully different way instead of trying to fix the problems with the old one.

And, trust me, in a few years you''ll start to feel old. Rather old. Y''know, when you get a job in the programming industry (software engineering (my current job), game dev, whatever it is...) and have stress to contend with, and lots of coffee to cope, and when you realize all you''ve been doing is working on your projects and keeping away from a social life... Well, that''s when you can look back to your completed projects and tell yourself, man, I''d soooo do this "being a geek" shit a hundred times over. :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

  • Advertisement