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bu11frog

Completely Off Topic

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omg... just read this post at www.banterist.com I just about fell out of my chair laughing. Anyway, I thought some of you might enjoy it as well... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Quote: "Video Game Review: Citrus Orchard Simulator Right on top of the release of Red Dead Revolver and still riding high on the success of the stellar-selling Grand Theft Auto franchise, Rockstar Games does it again with Citrus Orchard Simulator, a first-person non-shooter that promises to be one of the most talked-about fruit farming sims on the market to date. In C.O.S., you are Jake Delorean, an ex-convict gone good. Now, armed with a 12 acre plot of land and a government subsidy, you grow lemons - or limes, depending on the path you take. That''s one of many choices you''re offered as the game''s open story line lets you go your own way in the ever-changing world of citrus farming. As Delorean, you have the option of roaming your farm on foot or by tractor. You''ll also have to choose between letting worker Jorge Martinez pick all the citrus by himself, or assisting him. While letting Jorge pick the lemons himself increases your health, your productivity falls. Help Jorge pick citrus and profits may go up, but you might fall off a ladder. Again, these are some of the many choices that players of Citrus Orchard Simulator will have to make during game-play. It''s not all wandering the fields looking at citrus either. There are several challenges that might crop up along the way. Delorean faces everything from chilly weather, blight, and Jorge''s H1-B work visa being revoked. In addition, every year you must file a 47-page report or risk losing your subsidy - fill out something incorrectly, and it could spell disaster. True to Rockstar''s style, C.O.S. has numerous side-diversions to entertain the attention-deficit crowd. One mission sends Delorean to the shed to get a pole. In another, a Fuji apple must be handed to Jorge so he can eat it. With its amazing graphics and innovative game engine, Citrus Orchard Simulator may be just what the doctor ordered to hold the serious gamer over until the much-anticipated September release of Elevator Operator. Title: Citrus Orchard Simulator Developer: Rockstar Games Platforms: Xbox, PS2 Retail: $49.95

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Guest Anonymous Poster
LOL LOL LOL

this can''t be real

LOL
LOL
LOL

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quote:
Original post by Anonymous Poster
this can't be real



heh, indeed. the site, banterist.com is a satire site, unless their starfleet academy rejection letter is real...

-me

p.s. stuff that's "Completely Off Topic" should be posted in The Lounge. but i don't really care, made me laugh

[edited by - Palidine on June 3, 2004 6:15:03 PM]

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