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choffstein

primitive humor.

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My friend sent me these. I figured maybe people would like them.
(char *) <-- cast of characters
long wang;
struct by-lightning{};
void *where_prohibited;
double entendre;
union jack{};
double or_nothing;
short sighted;


yep...he was a little tired... Also, my title was a joke within itself. Actually, I guess not all of those were primitives...oh well. Can anyone think of any other good ones?

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Clever, but I wouldn't say funny.

Your thread title is deceiving. :(

EDIT: OMG YUO EDITED YUOR THREAD TITLE MAKING MY POST INVALID.

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struct ComputerContractor {

double salary;
long lunches;
float jobs;
char unstable;
void work;
int hiring_him_again;
const pain_in_the_backside;
unsigned agreement;
short fuse;
volatile personality;
static progress;

};
/* and there are no unions in sight */

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Quote:
Original post by doogle
I thought this was gonna be a thread about that stuipd Java joke... I can't remember how it goes.


master google says:

Session Bean walks into a bar and asks for a Jack Daniels on the rocks...bartender says "I'm afraid I can't serve you any alcohol", and the Session Bean says, "why not ? Are you discriminating against Session Beans ?" and the bartender replies "well, look at the state you're in".


A bunch of 17 year olds - ClassCast, IllegalArgument and ArrayOutOfBounds - decide to chance their arm, and try and get served at the bar. The Bartender takes one look at them, and asks them for ID. ClassCast hands over his fake ID, IllegalArgument hands over his brother Throwable's ID, but ArrayOutOfBounds doesn't have any fake ID. The Bartender says "Sorry guys, you'll have to leave unless I can see some ID". ClassCast pleads with the barman "can't you just bend the rules for us ?" and the barman says "Sorry, no Exceptions".


A LinkedList walks into a bar frequented by Vectors, and says to the barman "I'll take a Jack Daniels, on the rocks", and the bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve your type here"


9:00 AM
Project manager: " Where is Joe?"
Java programmer A: " You know he is always lazy loadded."

1:00 PM:
Project manager: " Where is Joe??"
Java programmer B: " He is in passive mode."

5:30 PM:
Project manager: " Could I see Joe in rest of my life ?????"
Java programmer C: "Never, he has been garbage collected."


Two session beans in love are sitting cuddled close together:
"Oh Jarling, my Singleon!", the female session bean exclaims.
"Let's go Home and Make love.", the male session bean replies.
"But we can't", the female session bean says. "I don't want to create() new() instances."
"Don't worry" the male session bean replies with a smile. "My constructor is protected."


Two female entity beans are talking at the bar:
"Hey, have you seen that handsome session bean at the other end of the bar.", the first entity bean says.
The second one, known for being cynical, replies:
"He's probably just a cute Facade and no Content. Besides, he can't keep up a conversation. He's stateless."


Two ints and a Float in a bar. They spot an attractive Double on her own. The first int walks up to her. "Hey, baby", he says, "my VM or yours". She slaps him and he walks back dejected.
The second int walks over. "Hey, cute-stuff, can I cook you Beans for breakfast". After a quick slapping, he too walks back.
The Float then ambles over casually. "Were those two primitive types bothering you?", he remarks.
"Yes. I'm so glad you're here", she says. "They just had no Class!"

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it seems that master google is quite communicative and in a good mood tonight:

A boolean passes a friend in the hall, who notes he looks quite depressed. The friend vaguely recalls a recent family tragedy and asks, "Hey, is it true your parents died last week in a Garbage Collection accident?" The boolean replies, "Yeah, and now I've got no place to live, either." The friend is shocked, and asks, "But weren't you in their will?" The boolean sighs and says, "Nope, no will, no inheritance..."


PrivateKey knows that GeneralSecurityException is reviewing a List of soldiers in the Area for the SecurityManager position. Thinking highly of his Attributes, he makes a RemoteCall to an AccessController friend of his to check the job search CompletionStatus. His friend pulls his File, and sadly reports, "Sorry, but you didn't get it." The soldier is upset, and says, "But I had JobPriority!". His friend says, "Well, it says here you had a WeakReference..."


A Timer was at a ScrollBar and noticed a particular Button was quite Observable. He walks up to her and says, "Hey, there, can I schedule a Date with you?" She replies, "OK, but I'm sure I'd have to cancel..."


A customer is chatting with Mr. Key, owner of KeyStore, when Mr. Key suddenly collapses. Another customer who is a doctor rushes over to check while another calls 911. The customers ask the doctor what happened, and he replies, "Well, when I lift up any BodyPart on this side it's totally limp, so I'd guess he had a KeyStroke..."


A TableModel, ListModel, and ColorModel are being photographed for the fall catalog, but the ListModel keeps giving RenderingHints to the photographer. Exasperated, the photographer calls up ListModel's boss and says, "She's driving me crazy - I can't do my PrintJob like this!" The boss tells him to put her on. She immediately starts whining, "I'm not a Robot or some MenuItem, and he doesn't care about my Image!" To that, the boss replies, "Look, you made your Point, so don't get all bent out of Shape. Just be Adjustable and have a more open Dialog with him. And don't forget that you're not the LayoutManager..."


News Report: "A Java programmer in Silicon Valley was detained for quesitoning yesterday on an anonymous tip that he was using a Hashtable..."


A Double is dating an int, and she decides to break it off. This thows him for a loop, and when he regains his composure he asks why. She replies, "You're always so selfish - it's always i this, and i that..."

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