Sign in to follow this  

Forum game - Write your own chunk..in reverse!

This topic is 4791 days old which is more than the 365 day threshold we allow for new replies. Please post a new topic.

If you intended to correct an error in the post then please contact us.

Recommended Posts

I may be wrong, but I don’t think there has been a post here for the last 2 days [wow] So, we need to get ACTIVE! Below is a simple forum game which I am hoping everyone can join into. It is a simple 'write your own chunk' game with a twist: How to play Each poster will write a small paragraph of a story, trying to continue on from the previous post as much as possible. BUT, this time the story will be told in reverse, so each chunk will be the few moments that lead up to the previous post. A few simple rules
  • Please finish your post with the first four words from the previous post to ensure continuation.
  • One paragraph should be enough
  • Try to stay in the theme of the story (I.e. Don’t include Hitlar and Alienz randomly!)
I will get it started (make sure you reply to the second paragraph below. I wrote two just so everyone understands how it works) As Michelle looked into her trembling hand, she realized that she was still holding the gun with an iron grip. She dropped it onto the cold concrete floor, and as it echoed through the church she gazed upon the Angel she had shot. Her mind wandered, hardly believing it was over. The sun shone through the church windows, touching her face as she breathed a sigh of relief, letting her guard down for the first time. She turned on her heel, and walked out the door to the perfect day. She was going home. Example reply- As she clenched the gun, her hands shook terribly. The Angel looked down upon her, ignoring the gun pointed at his chest. ‘What are you going to do now? Shoot me?’. She closed her eyes and uttered ever so quietly ‘I’m sorry’, then pulled the trigger. As Michelle looked..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
The Angel came screaming down from above with rage in its eyes. How could this have happened? All elements were in place. Michelle jumped out of the way just as the Angel flew straight into the ground where she stood. Shards from the Church's floor can flying up hitting the walls. Memory streamed into her head. "HATE", "CONFUSION"... "LOVE". "I don't want to do this!" she screamed. She heard a huge bang and the Angel's head exploded as blood dripped to the floor.

As Michelle looked into her trembling hand, she realized that she was still holding the gun with an iron grip. She dropped it onto the cold concrete floor, and as it echoed through the church she gazed upon the Angel she had shot. Her mind wandered, hardly believing it was over. The sun shone through the church windows, touching her face as she breathed a sigh of relief, letting her guard down for the first time. She turned on her heel, and walked out the door to the perfect day. She was going home.


.... Good game idea. I can understand why you didn't put it into the Lounge [wink].

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Okay...I expected to start from the OP's second paragraph, but this ought to work out alright. Just FYI, I don't know much about religion and don't claim to, so if anything is inaccurate...tell me so. Maybe better to not clutter up the topic and just PM it to me.


The doors of the Cathedral creaked open -- sanctuary. Michelle thought how ironic it would be to hide herself from a fallen messenger of God inside his own house. Light streamed through the windows and she felt refreshed as she strolled toward the altar. A Crucifix stood silent on the wall behind it; disturbingly comforting. From here, she thought, even the sign of torture would relieve her pain. In her current situation, she almost expected to see...blood. There was blood trickling from the eyes. She dove into her pocket and leaped away from the altar. The Angel came screaming...


...down from above with rage in its eyes. How could this have happened? All elements were in place. Michelle jumped out of the way just as the Angel flew straight into the ground where she stood. Shards from the Church's floor can flying up hitting the walls. Memory streamed into her head. "HATE", "CONFUSION"... "LOVE". "I don't want to do this!" she screamed. She heard a huge bang and the Angel's head exploded as blood dripped to the floor.


I too am glad this wasn't put in the lounge and hope a lot of people participate. I was going to start one of these after I read that post about horror stories, but I guess I put it off too long, eh?

One more thing: Should we start to post the whole current story or just what the last poster says?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
bump


Also, question: can we post more than once without intervention? I don't have any ideas yet, but just wondering if I could and then not get in trouble for bumping.

Note: don't let this topic die. Because I will hunt you down if you do.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
@ Boku San: It makes sense to post the whole story when you reply (so it doesn’t get confusing when everyone reads it), but for now you can just post the last four words of the previous post. What I will do is once it gets to a good number of replies, I will collect them all up and edit my original post to form one big story (although I may still keep it in reverse..)

And I don’t mind if you reply to our own post, but try to keep a limit on it (so that it doesn’t turn into one poster writing an entire story [grin].)

Great posts so far, keep up the good work guys!



---------

Michelle looked into the sky, watching as dark clouds rolled in. She could still hear the sounds of innocents dying, fogging her mind with their screams. She hung her head weakly, wondering how it ever got this far. From across the road, she could clearly see the entrance to the cathedral. 'All I have to do is get inside, and everything will be fine' she thought to herself. She looked around, trying to find any movement in the streets. Nothing. 'Maybe I lost him' she wondered. She took one last breath, said a silent prayer, and in a leap of faith she made a run for the cathedral door. The doors of the Cathedral creaked open...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Michelle waited on the side of the road, trying to gather enough courage to cross the street. But, she was sure that the angel would dive out of the sky as soon as she moved. "All I have to do is cross the street. All I have to do is get to the cathedral," she thought to herself, as she had the entire way here, but this was the final step. Michelle looked into the sky...

-------------------------------------------
I couldn't think of too much new to add, so I decided to emphasize the fact that she was trying to work up the courage. Too bad it looks like a repeat of the one right before, or right after depending on how you look at it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
[I sorted it all out. Here's another one...]

Adam was nowhere to be seen. Michelle looked around looking for him. The dust from the explosion had clouded her vision. Confusion rushed into her head. The Angel must have taken him. It had happened to her father years ago when she lived back on Mars. She knew what she had to do. But where was the Angel?

Michelle waited on the side of the road, trying to gather enough courage to cross the street. But, she was sure that the Angel would dive out of the sky as soon as she moved. "All I have to do is cross the street. All I have to do is get to the cathedral," she thought to herself, as she had the entire way here, but this was the final step.

The doors of the Cathedral creaked open -- sanctuary. Michelle thought how ironic it would be to hide herself from a fallen messenger of God inside his own house. Light streamed through the windows and she felt refreshed as she strolled toward the altar. A Crucifix stood silent on the wall behind it; disturbingly comforting. From here, she thought, even the sign of torture would relieve her pain. In her current situation, she almost expected to see...blood. There was blood trickling from the eyes. She dove into her pocket and leaped away from the altar.

The Angel came screaming down from above with rage in its eyes. How could this have happened? All elements were in place. Michelle jumped out of the way just as the Angel flew straight into the ground where she stood. Shards from the Church's floor can flying up hitting the walls. Memory streamed into her head. "HATE", "CONFUSION"... "LOVE". "I don't want to do this!" she screamed. She heard a huge bang and the Angel's head exploded as blood dripped to the floor.

As Michelle looked into her trembling hand, she realized that she was still holding the gun with an iron grip. She dropped it onto the cold concrete floor, and as it echoed through the church she gazed upon the Angel she had shot. Her mind wandered, hardly believing it was over. The sun shone through the church windows, touching her face as she breathed a sigh of relief, letting her guard down for the first time. She turned on her heel, and walked out the door to the perfect day. She was going home.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
**EDIT** damnation... I knew I'D be the one to screw this up... just cuz a guy takes a long time to post... anyways, I guess you can disregard this one cuz you've continued already... even though it's better than the other two... mars... pffft =P just kidding, ignore this



Kneeling over the body of her lover, Michelle wept enraged tears into the chest of his bloodied coat, while behind her the unearthly voice resonated in the courtyard again. "Your life, and those who get close to it, will forever belong to us." Once more her sorrow lifted and she let herself became consumed by the hatred. She would not lose any more loved ones to this winged apparition. She would not be a prisoner. The Angel's presence radiated behind her; the dark aura had followed her for what seemed like an eternity, tainting her very existence. Disguising her motives with a gentle kiss to her lover's forehead, she leaned forward, removing his gun from its holster as swiftly and gently as she could. With one maneouvre she spun around, pistol flashing in the sun, trigger half depressed. The Angel was gone though, no longer watching her. What would she do now?

Michelle looked into the sky...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ok, just so things don’t get confusing, the current story so far is below. Also, I kept it in reverse for the moment. If you want to read a normal version, Rob Loach posted one a few posts up (thanks Rob![smile]):


------------

As Michelle looked into her trembling hand, she realized that she was still holding the gun with an iron grip. She dropped it onto the cold concrete floor, and as it echoed through the church she gazed upon the Angel she had shot. Her mind wandered, hardly believing it was over. The sun shone through the church windows, touching her face as she breathed a sigh of relief, letting her guard down for the first time. She turned on her heel, and walked out the door to the perfect day. She was going home.

The Angel came screaming down from above with rage in its eyes. How could this have happened? All elements were in place. Michelle jumped out of the way just as the Angel flew straight into the ground where she stood. Shards from the Church's floor can flying up hitting the walls. Memory streamed into her head. "HATE", "CONFUSION"... "LOVE". "I don't want to do this!" she screamed. She heard a huge bang and the Angel's head exploded as blood dripped to the floor. As Michelle looked into her trembling hand...

The doors of the Cathedral creaked open -- sanctuary. Michelle thought how ironic it would be to hide herself from a fallen messenger of God inside his own house. Light streamed through the windows and she felt refreshed as she strolled toward the altar. A Crucifix stood silent on the wall behind it; disturbingly comforting. From here, she thought, even the sign of torture would relieve her pain. In her current situation, she almost expected to see...blood. There was blood trickling from the eyes. She dove into her pocket and leaped away from the altar. The Angel came screaming down from above...

Michelle looked into the sky, watching as dark clouds rolled in. She could still hear the sounds of innocents dying, fogging her mind with their screams. She hung her head weakly, wondering how it ever got this far. From across the road, she could clearly see the entrance to the cathedral. 'All I have to do is get inside, and everything will be fine' she thought to herself. She looked around, trying to find any movement in the streets. Nothing. 'Maybe I lost him' she wondered. She took one last breath, said a silent prayer, and in a leap of faith she made a run for the cathedral door. The doors of the Cathedral creaked open...

Michelle waited on the side of the road, trying to gather enough courage to cross the street. But, she was sure that the angel would dive out of the sky as soon as she moved. "All I have to do is cross the street. All I have to do is get to the cathedral," she thought to herself, as she had the entire way here, but this was the final step. Michelle looked into the sky...


--------------


Now, since two people posted their addition at the same time, whoever posts next has the choice of deciding which post they would like to continue. The two options are:

A) Kneeling over the body of her lover, Michelle wept enraged tears into the chest of his bloodied coat, while behind her the unearthly voice resonated in the courtyard again. "Your life, and those who get close to it, will forever belong to us." Once more her sorrow lifted and she let herself became consumed by the hatred. She would not lose any more loved ones to this winged apparition. She would not be a prisoner. The Angel's presence radiated behind her; the dark aura had followed her for what seemed like an eternity, tainting her very existence. Disguising her motives with a gentle kiss to her lover's forehead, she leaned forward, removing his gun from its holster as swiftly and gently as she could. With one maneouvre she spun around, pistol flashing in the sun, trigger half depressed. The Angel was gone though, no longer watching her. What would she do now? Michelle looked into the sky...


B) Adam was nowhere to be seen. Michelle looked around looking for him. The dust from the explosion had clouded her vision. Confusion rushed into her head. The Angel must have taken him. It had happened to her father years ago when she lived back on Mars. She knew what she had to do. But where was the Angel? Michelle looked into the sky...

Remember you are posting the events leading UP to option A or B!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I vote A too.

I'm not a good writer, but whatever.

Michelle closed her eyes as a huge and very bright energy blast came towards him, whom had just pushed her off the way of the Angel's fire. As soon as she realized what was going on, she got up and went looking for him. She found him fallen in the grass, like a cut tree. He was dead.

Kneeling over the body of her lover, Michelle wept enraged tears into the chest of his bloodied coat, while behind her the unearthly voice resonated in the courtyard again...

[Edited by - VBBR on October 8, 2004 4:08:26 PM]

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Having now looked back at her cousin's home engulfed in flames merely a few steps away, Michelle knew she didnt have much time to dwell on her loss. She thought silently to herself, "This is not how it ends!" Frantically trying to think of ways to react, she couldnt get the image of her burning cousin out of her mind. Every hair on her frail body stood to attention. Desperatly wishing the chaos to end, it did not stun her as she felt Brian's touch in her side. Fearing the worst, and knowing it was inevitable, Michelle closed her eyes...

(Sorry, just not that good)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
"Haha, an angel? You gotta be jokin, Mich--..." Michelle wasn't listening. She shivered in her blanket, and Tim wasn't sure if the puddle forming on his kitchen floor was water from the towel or if it was his cousin's sweat. I'm not sure that I believe all this angel business, but something definitely happened to her...

"Tim," Michelle quietly uttered interrupting his thought.

"Yeah? You feelin alright to talk now?" The hair on the back of his neck stood on end; Tim didn't mean to say it like that. He felt the air twitch, and Michelle steeled herself to respond.

"Michelle, I meant to say--"

"GET DOWN!" Michelle shoved him to the side and ripped through the window. She landed in the bush, and Tim called after her.

"Wait, Mich! Come back, I'm sorr--"

A flame ran throught the kitchen, and Tim was immolated. Michelle stopped in time to see her former-cousin served extra-crunchy. And she didn't call out to him. She ran.

Having now looked back at her cousin's home engulfed in flames merely a few steps away...

NOTE: Hope this will jumpstart the topic again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Okey, Im going to make this readable. I shall now place these paragraphs in order.
------------------------------------
"Haha, an angel? You gotta be jokin, Mich--..." Michelle wasn't listening. She shivered in her blanket, and Tim wasn't sure if the puddle forming on his kitchen floor was water from the towel or if it was his cousin's sweat. I'm not sure that I believe all this angel business, but something definitely happened to her...

"Tim," Michelle quietly uttered interrupting his thought.

"Yeah? You feelin alright to talk now?" The hair on the back of his neck stood on end; Tim didn't mean to say it like that. He felt the air twitch, and Michelle steeled herself to respond.

"Michelle, I meant to say--"

"GET DOWN!" Michelle shoved him to the side and ripped through the window. She landed in the bush, and Tim called after her.

"Wait, Mich! Come back, I'm sorr--"

A flame ran throught the kitchen, and Tim was immolated. Michelle stopped in time to see her former-cousin served extra-crunchy. And she didn't call out to him. She ran.

Having now looked back at her cousin's home engulfed in flames merely a few steps away, Michelle knew she didnt have much time to dwell on her loss. She thought silently to herself, "This is not how it ends!" Frantically trying to think of ways to react, she couldnt get the image of her burning cousin out of her mind. Every hair on her frail body stood to attention. Desperatly wishing the chaos to end, it did not stun her as she felt Brian's touch in her side. Fearing the worst, and knowing it was inevitable, Michelle closed her eyes.

Michelle closed her eyes as a huge and very bright energy blast came towards him, whom had just pushed her off the way of the Angel's fire. As soon as she realized what was going on, she got up and went looking for him. She found him fallen in the grass, like a cut tree. He was dead.

Kneeling over the body of her lover, Michelle wept enraged tears into the chest of his bloodied coat, while behind her the unearthly voice resonated in the courtyard again.

Kneeling over the body of her lover, Michelle wept enraged tears into the chest of his bloodied coat, while behind her the unearthly voice resonated in the courtyard again. "Your life, and those who get close to it, will forever belong to us." Once more her sorrow lifted and she let herself became consumed by the hatred. She would not lose any more loved ones to this winged apparition. She would not be a prisoner. The Angel's presence radiated behind her; the dark aura had followed her for what seemed like an eternity, tainting her very existence. Disguising her motives with a gentle kiss to her lover's forehead, she leaned forward, removing his gun from its holster as swiftly and gently as she could. With one maneouvre she spun around, pistol flashing in the sun, trigger half depressed. The Angel was gone though, no longer watching her. What would she do now?

Michelle looked into the sky.

Michelle waited on the side of the road, trying to gather enough courage to cross the street. But, she was sure that the Angel would dive out of the sky as soon as she moved. "All I have to do is cross the street. All I have to do is get to the cathedral," she thought to herself, as she had the entire way here, but this was the final step.

The doors of the Cathedral creaked open -- sanctuary. Michelle thought how ironic it would be to hide herself from a fallen messenger of God inside his own house. Light streamed through the windows and she felt refreshed as she strolled toward the altar. A Crucifix stood silent on the wall behind it; disturbingly comforting. From here, she thought, even the sign of torture would relieve her pain. In her current situation, she almost expected to see...blood. There was blood trickling from the eyes. She dove into her pocket and leaped away from the altar.

The Angel came screaming down from above with rage in its eyes. How could this have happened? All elements were in place. Michelle jumped out of the way just as the Angel flew straight into the ground where she stood. Shards from the Church's floor can flying up hitting the walls. Memory streamed into her head. "HATE", "CONFUSION"... "LOVE". "I don't want to do this!" she screamed. She heard a huge bang and the Angel's head exploded as blood dripped to the floor.

As Michelle looked into her trembling hand, she realized that she was still holding the gun with an iron grip. She dropped it onto the cold concrete floor, and as it echoed through the church she gazed upon the Angel she had shot. Her mind wandered, hardly believing it was over. The sun shone through the church windows, touching her face as she breathed a sigh of relief, letting her guard down for the first time. She turned on her heel, and walked out the door to the perfect day. She was going home.




Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
CHAPTER 21


...What? I thought it'd be a good way to restart the story, since everybody seems to be out of ideas for what happened. Now, I guess we gotta say what happened to Michelle before she went into her cousin's house. Something about water, methinks. Also, it should definitely involve the angel, because she's obviously been running for quite a bit.

I'm thinking maybe Chapter 20 could be around a lake -- since this Angel likes to divebomb out of the sky so much, maybe he could go all meteor into the center of the lake.

I'm all out of ideas for this "segment" anyway, TBH.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
(eh, not very good writing in my post, i'm trying to pack a lot into this section [wink])

As a crashing noise filled the air, Tim looked into the far end of his backyard. What used to be his boat dock was now home to a second boat plunged into the side. He didn’t recognise the boat, and at first had no idea where it came from. Suddenly the shape of a person appeared in the water, floating perfectly still.

'Michelle!'

Tim ran as fast as he could to the dock. All thoughts of how and why Michelle was responsible for this accident were put aside as he became focused solely on the safety of his cousin.

As he plunged into the icy water, he was amazed to find her barely conscious, somehow floating on a piece of wood. Dragging her to the side of the lake, he slowly walked her back to the house, fearing that she might be seriously hurt. As they arrived at the back door, Tim grabbed a towel and placed it over Michelle, but stopped as he noticed what she was holding. It was a gun.

‘Don’t worry Tim, I can explain’ mumbled Michelle. As they sat down, Michelle began to explain the events leading up to today. She didn’t expect Tim to believe any of it.

Haha, an angel? You gotta be jokin, Mich--..." Michelle wasn't listening…

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just trying to revive the topic, here is everything well-organized. I'll keep it updated as more post are made.
(this is starting to become an interesting story...)

----------------------------------------------------------------

She feared her own escape, and prayed that it had all been a dream, but it wasn’t. She could still feel the burning gaze that the dark angel had imprinted in her mind. Images of fire and a past from before man kind sparked before her eyes as if they were her own memories. She raced through the woods, tripping and dragging herself with force, she had to reach him soon. The sun would be setting, and time was not on her side.

Smoke filled her lungs as she neared her destination.She ducked and dodged along the harbour shore as the abandoned ghost city spewed fiery debris at her. "Has every building been lit aflame?" She wondered if there was any solace.

Regardless, she had to press on. Her safety was all that mattered. Thoughts of the angel raced through her head as she made her way out of the city: the blazing sword that had scarred the side of her torso, the blinding halo whirring like mad with his rage, the piercing screech of his war cry. Every thought of her former master pained her so deeply. She could barely even think of how many people she had killed under his twisted plan.

Fighting back the tears, Michelle reminded herself of her humanity, that she was closer to freedom than ever before.

Michelle judged that she had gone far enough from the city to risk walking openly. The flames, from mere candles burning along the bay, had turned into a single basin of fire; they had tired of their games, like cats toying with mice, it seemed. She shuddered and ceased to think about it. All that mattered was...

All that mattered was the boat moored ahead of her. It was sleek and narrow and could take her far away. It might be able to take her to help. No, she thought, nothing can help. Not against this. Not even Brian. And still God mocked her with his corpse.

Despite her mounting despair, she started the engine and took off to find the one living person she could trust. "What can I do to stop this madness!?", she thought to herself, with little hope.

Before she had the time to think about anything else, Michelle felt a strange shadow coming towards the boat from behind. Just about the time she turned around to check what was causing it, the boat cracked in pieces as she fell unconscious.

   ***   (better make some kind of delimiter here as the focus changes from Michelle to Tim)   ***


As a crashing noise filled the air, Tim looked into the far end of his backyard. What used to be his boat dock was now home to a second boat plunged into the side. He didn’t recognise the boat, and at first had no idea where it came from. Suddenly the shape of a person appeared in the water, floating perfectly still.

"Michelle!"

Tim ran as fast as he could to the dock. All thoughts of how and why Michelle was responsible for this accident were put aside as he became focused solely on the safety of his cousin.

As he plunged into the icy water, he was amazed to find her barely conscious, somehow floating on a piece of wood. Dragging her to the side of the lake, he slowly walked her back to the house, fearing that she might be seriously hurt. As they arrived at the back door, Tim grabbed a towel and placed it over Michelle, but stopped as he noticed what she was holding. It was a gun.

"Don’t worry Tim, I can explain" mumbled Michelle. As they sat down, Michelle began to explain the events leading up to today. She didn’t expect Tim to believe any of it.

"Haha, an angel? You gotta be jokin, Mich--..." Michelle wasn't listening. "I have to find Brian..." She shivered in her blanket, and Tim wasn't sure if the puddle forming on his kitchen floor was water from the towel or if it was his cousin's sweat. "I'm not sure that I believe all this angel business, but something definitely happened to her..."

"Tim," Michelle quietly uttered interrupting his thought.

"Yeah? You feelin alright to talk now?" The hair on the back of his neck stood on end; Tim didn't mean to say it like that. He felt the air twitch, and Michelle steeled herself to respond.

"Michelle, I meant to say--"

"GET DOWN!" Michelle shoved him to the side and ripped through the window. She landed in the bush, and Tim called after her.

"Wait, Mich! Come back, I'm sorr--"

A flame ran throught the kitchen, and Tim was immolated. Michelle stopped in time to see her former-cousin served extra-crunchy. And she didn't call out to him. She ran.

Having now looked back at her cousin's home engulfed in flames merely a few steps away, Michelle knew she didnt have much time to dwell on her loss. She thought silently to herself, "This is not how it ends!" Frantically trying to think of ways to react, she couldnt get the image of her burning cousin out of her mind. Every hair on her frail body stood to attention. Desperatly wishing the chaos to end, it did not stun her as she felt Brian's touch in her side. Fearing the worst, and knowing it was inevitable, Michelle closed her eyes as a huge and very bright energy blast came towards him, whom had just pushed her off the way of the Angel's fire. As soon as she realized what was going on, she got up and went looking for him. She found him fallen in the grass, like a cut tree. He was dead.

Kneeling over the body of her lover, Michelle wept enraged tears into the chest of his bloodied coat, while behind her the unearthly voice resonated in the courtyard again. "Your life, and those who get close to it, will forever belong to us." Once more her sorrow lifted and she let herself became consumed by the hatred. She would not lose any more loved ones to this winged apparition. She would not be a prisoner. The Angel's presence radiated behind her; the dark aura had followed her for what seemed like an eternity, tainting her very existence. Disguising her motives with a gentle kiss to her lover's forehead, she leaned forward, removing his gun from its holster as swiftly and gently as she could. With one maneouvre she spun around, pistol flashing in the sun, trigger half depressed. The Angel was gone though, no longer watching her. What would she do now?

Michelle waited on the side of the road, trying to gather enough courage to cross the street. But, she was sure that the Angel would dive out of the sky as soon as she moved. "All I have to do is cross the street. All I have to do is get to the cathedral," she thought to herself, as she had the entire way here, but this was the final step.

Michelle looked into the sky, watching as dark clouds rolled in. She could still hear the sounds of innocents dying, fogging her mind with their screams. She hung her head weakly, wondering how it ever got this far. From across the road, she could clearly see the entrance to the cathedral. 'All I have to do is get inside, and everything will be fine' she thought to herself. She looked around, trying to find any movement in the streets. Nothing. 'Maybe I lost him' she wondered. She took one last breath, said a silent prayer, and in a leap of faith she made a run for the cathedral door.

The doors of the Cathedral creaked open -- sanctuary. Michelle thought how ironic it would be to hide herself from a fallen messenger of God inside his own house. Light streamed through the windows and she felt refreshed as she strolled toward the altar. A Crucifix stood silent on the wall behind it; disturbingly comforting. From here, she thought, even the sign of torture would relieve her pain. In her current situation, she almost expected to see...blood. There was blood trickling from the eyes. She dove into her pocket and leaped away from the altar.

The Angel came screaming down from above with rage in its eyes. How could this have happened? All elements were in place. Michelle jumped out of the way just as the Angel flew straight into the ground where she stood. Shards from the Church's floor can flying up hitting the walls. Memory streamed into her head. "HATE", "CONFUSION"... "LOVE". "I don't want to do this!" she screamed. She heard a huge bang and the Angel's head exploded as blood dripped to the floor.

As Michelle looked into her trembling hand, she realized that she was still holding the gun with an iron grip. She dropped it onto the cold concrete floor, and as it echoed through the church she gazed upon the Angel she had shot. Her mind wandered, hardly believing it was over. The sun shone through the church windows, touching her face as she breathed a sigh of relief, letting her guard down for the first time. She turned on her heel, and walked out the door to the perfect day. She was going home.

[Edited by - VBBR on October 26, 2004 3:26:05 PM]

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Michelle judged that she had gone far enough from the city to risk walking openly. The flames, from mere candles burning along the bay, had turned into a single basin of fire; they had tired of their games, like cats toying with mice, it seemed. She shuddered and ceased to think about it. All that matter was...
All that mattered was the boat moored ahead of her. It was sleek and narrow and could take her far away. It might be able to take her to help. No, she thought, nothing can help. Not against this. Not even Brian. And still God mocked her with his corpse.
Despite her mounting despair, she started the engine and took off to find the one living person she could trust.

(Note: the part about God mocking her with his corpse is to explain the sudden appearance of it later.)

As a crashing noise filled the air, Tim looked into the far end of his backyard. What used to be his boat dock was now home to a second boat...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I was wondering if I could add something to the last post, to make the story more consistent. I shall explain what led to the accident. (I know that's against the rules but it will make the story sound a lot better)

------------------

Michelle judged that she had gone far enough from the city to risk walking openly. The flames, from mere candles burning along the bay, had turned into a single basin of fire; they had tired of their games, like cats toying with mice, it seemed. She shuddered and ceased to think about it. All that matter was...
All that mattered was the boat moored ahead of her. It was sleek and narrow and could take her far away. It might be able to take her to help. No, she thought, nothing can help. Not against this. Not even Brian. And still God mocked her with his corpse.

Despite her mounting despair, she started the engine and took off to find the one living person she could trust.
"What can I do to stop this madness!?", she thought to herself, with little hope.

Before she had the time to think about anything else, Michelle felt a strange shadow coming towards the boat from behind. Just about the time she turned around to check what was causing it, the boat cracked in pieces as she fell unconscious.

------------------

I think it's about time we should start explaining what the heck is this Angel and where did it come from. (the city in the bay looks like a good scenery for this)

[Edited by - VBBR on October 24, 2004 8:01:24 AM]

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
*Note: At some point, the person I had come up with changed from her lover to her cousin. Now I'm not saying this can't happen, obviously stranger things in writing have occured, but if it wasn't intentional, should we change it to avoid weirdness?

That having been said, another contribution:

She ducked and dodged along the harbour shore as the abandoned ghost city spewed fiery debris at her. "Has every building been lit aflame?" She wondered if there was any solace.

Regardless, she had to press on. Her safety was all that mattered. Thoughts of the angel raced through her head as she made her way out of the city: the blazing sword that had scarred the side of her torso, the blinding halo whirring like mad with his rage, the piercing screech of his war cry. Every thought of her former master pained her so deeply. She could barely even think of how many people she had killed under his twisted plan.

Fighting back the tears, Michelle reminded herself of her humanity, that she was closer to freedam than ever before.
Michelle judged that she had gone far enough...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
She feared her own escape, and prayed that it had all been a dream, but it wasn’t. She could still feel the burning gaze that the dark angel had imprinted in her mind. Images of fire and a past from before man kind sparked before her eyes as if they were her own memories. She raced through the woods, tripping and dragging herself with force, she had to reach him soon. The sun would be setting, and time was not on her side.

Smoke filled her lungs as she neared her destination. She ducked and dodged along the harbour shore ....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote:
Original post by Cosmic One
*Note: At some point, the person I had come up with changed from her lover to her cousin.

It didn't. Actually her cousing (Tim) died burned and her lover (Brian) appeared suddenly and for a short moment just a little later.

What was somewhat unclear is that she crossed the lake to find Brian, but as the Angel attacked her in the way, she got off-route and ended up crashing on Tim's place (which, by the way, is near where Brian supposedly is). She ran from Tim's house, and then Brian (whom was near there) saw the fire and heard Michelle's scream, then went to her rescue. Unfortunately he got killed shortly after... (maybe we could try to fix this? EDIT: I've placed a "I need to find Brian..." thought on Michelle by the time she's on her cousin's house. This makes it clear that he's not Brian and that she's on the wrong place.)

I've included the last two contributions in my post. I think we should start writing about the "elements"... (anyone remembers them? One-to-last paragraph.)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote:
Original post by VBBR
Actually her cousin (Tim) died burned and her lover (Brian) appeared suddenly and for a short moment just a little later.


Sorry bout that, my bad. I sped through that post too fast the first time I read it and just thought the writer was confused. Turns out it was me =D... Okay then, all is well.
Also, I don't think that they meant 'the elements' literally... it's just a figure of speech like 'and the last puzzle piece was set'. Of course that's subjective; if you want them to be literal, so be it.


As ever,
****Cosmic****

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I just want to say a huge thankyou to everyone who has contributed to this thread. It is turning into something pretty damn cool! Extra big thanks to those who have taken time out to repost the story in nicer formatting.

One thing I just want to get clear in my head though. When Tim is killed, am I reading it correctly that the only reason Michelle didn't die was because Brian, whom she thought was dead, pushed her out of the way, sacrificing his own life. Now she is in near a burn down house which is her fault with her dead cousin on one side, and her dead lover on the other. If so, DAMN that's cool! [grin]

I ran out of time tonight, but I will try and add my bit too this tommorow.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This topic is 4791 days old which is more than the 365 day threshold we allow for new replies. Please post a new topic.

If you intended to correct an error in the post then please contact us.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Sign in to follow this