Did you ever think that if you stop thinking of women as people to "Bang" that you might have more luck, women aren't simply there to open there legs and let you do your thing.
Considering some of the atitudes toward women from some of the people posting here it's not a surprise that they are having trouble "worming their way into a females pants", cuz nothing says sexy like "the only reason i'm talking to you is to get my rocks off."
I might get some!
Quote:Original post by coldacid
Yes, it seems that there is a chance that even I, coldacid the dateless, might get laid. Although it's still a while off (right now she's just looking for friends) I think it's only a matter of time before she wants something more serious. So I need to know the secret of going from friend to lover.
Anyone here ever been in that situation before, where you went from being a girl's friend to being her boyfriend? I'd like to know what sort of situation existed and how you were able to take the step up.
As usual, I don't want to hear about how I look or any crap like that. As we speak, I'm wearing nice clothes (including khakis), and I'm seriously thinking about chopping the rat-tail (although otherwise keeping longish hair). So let's not focus on making me sexier, but how to work my way into someone else's pants from the friend angle.
Hahah! This is a funny post! Kind of conversation that should be had at a pub with a few beers!
With friends you want to go further with it's good to just keep it a bit flirty. If you enter the "friend zone" and she start confiding in you with her latest crush you know that you're pretty much in the friend zone for good.
There is no magic formula to changing a female friend into something else. Just keep the flirtaous smiles, hugs good bye, that sort of thing going... and if one night your out together dancing away at a club or having a good meal or something and you get the feeling that she could be drawing closer for a kiss, lingering eye contact that kind of thing, then kiss the girl.
Of course it could make things odd between you... and well backfire esp if you aren't sincere. If you're too much of a love rat and just want the sex and leave then that kind of thing tends to stick to your reputation if she's not aware of that it's just a sex thing. Girls can be very perseptive when they want to be, and if she thinks you are being friends just to get it on with her (unless she's also out for a quick lay) then this could all bite you in your arse horribly.
Just ask, straight up. It's a lot quicker, and grown-up, too.
OR
I'm 24, and I don't have time to play games. I asked this one girl straight up and she said she didn't really see me that way. She had earlier expressed apprehensions about guys because, if they were interested in her extra-platonically, they basically cut her off if she didn't reciprocate. Now we pretty much hang out every Monday and Wednesday, and she's peripherally aware of my involvement with other people.
I hit on this other girl, who was in the same class as the first girl and I, but it turns out she has a boyfriend. I told her straight up, I don't mess with girls who have boyfriends because I believe in respecting other people's relationships. There's sexual tension between us, and she even came over to my place to study before the final last semester (and spent the night), but we did nothing more than some rubbing and touching. She said the strangest thing, though, when I asked her why she was comfortable lying in my bed at night, knowing what I thought/felt about her: "I trust you." Not in that "I can confide what's going on between my boyfriend and you way," but in a "I know you won't violate your own principles just to get some" sense.
Scheming may get you what you want, but it's a laborious process. Being direct is faster, establishes your character quicker as someone she can trust to be honest, and quickly moves non-options into the "ally" position, where they can introduce you to other people, who might be interested. Considering that there's tons of girls to meet, interact with and hit on out there, I favor "trivial rejection through directness" over all else.
(And with that, I recuse myself from this thread [smile])
Quote:You: Hey, do you think there's anything extra-platonic here?
Her: No, not really. I ...
You: Cool. You got any hot friends?
OR
Quote:You: Hey, do you think there's anything extra-platonic here?
Her: I don't know. I ...
You: I prefer not to bullshit and beat about the bush. I find you attractive in that way, and I just want to know what your expectations of this relationship are or will be.
Her: It's too early to ...
You: I'm just asking about raw attraction, not about life committments. I like you, and I'm saying that I'd be interested if you were comfortable with that.
Her: I don't know ...
You: That's cool. So, you got any hot friends?
I'm 24, and I don't have time to play games. I asked this one girl straight up and she said she didn't really see me that way. She had earlier expressed apprehensions about guys because, if they were interested in her extra-platonically, they basically cut her off if she didn't reciprocate. Now we pretty much hang out every Monday and Wednesday, and she's peripherally aware of my involvement with other people.
I hit on this other girl, who was in the same class as the first girl and I, but it turns out she has a boyfriend. I told her straight up, I don't mess with girls who have boyfriends because I believe in respecting other people's relationships. There's sexual tension between us, and she even came over to my place to study before the final last semester (and spent the night), but we did nothing more than some rubbing and touching. She said the strangest thing, though, when I asked her why she was comfortable lying in my bed at night, knowing what I thought/felt about her: "I trust you." Not in that "I can confide what's going on between my boyfriend and you way," but in a "I know you won't violate your own principles just to get some" sense.
Scheming may get you what you want, but it's a laborious process. Being direct is faster, establishes your character quicker as someone she can trust to be honest, and quickly moves non-options into the "ally" position, where they can introduce you to other people, who might be interested. Considering that there's tons of girls to meet, interact with and hit on out there, I favor "trivial rejection through directness" over all else.
(And with that, I recuse myself from this thread [smile])
Author
For what must be a once-in-a-lifetime occasion, I think Ol's got it.
Anyway, thank you PnP, for showing that I really need to re-read my posts before I hit that Reply button. I'm using sexual euphemisms for romance, and apparently in such a crowd of dateless wonders it goes over their heads and taken for face value. Let's set this straight, once and for all:
I WANT LOVE BEFORE SEX even though the sex is great, too. I'm not looking for a one-night stand (I may be a desperate freak, but I know where to go for that, without having to buy a whore), I want someone to be boyfriend to, I want a girl I can cuddle and kiss and romance, and yes, fuck, but I want a partner before I have a fuckbuddy.
I obviously need to watch what I'm typing, lest it is taken the wrong way, again.
Anyway, thank you PnP, for showing that I really need to re-read my posts before I hit that Reply button. I'm using sexual euphemisms for romance, and apparently in such a crowd of dateless wonders it goes over their heads and taken for face value. Let's set this straight, once and for all:
I WANT LOVE BEFORE SEX even though the sex is great, too. I'm not looking for a one-night stand (I may be a desperate freak, but I know where to go for that, without having to buy a whore), I want someone to be boyfriend to, I want a girl I can cuddle and kiss and romance, and yes, fuck, but I want a partner before I have a fuckbuddy.
I obviously need to watch what I'm typing, lest it is taken the wrong way, again.
Basically every post here has been telling coldacid why he won't be able to get ass or a relationship from his friend. Now that this is well established, let's be a bit more productive here and tell him how he can get a girlfriend in the future.
- Lose the rat tail
- Don't look for love. Love is a strong word. What you should be looking for at this stage is a girl you think is fun to hang out with in addition to screwing. If you think you are all of a sudden "in love" with some chick, you are probably in deception.
- Visit this site and read the Don Juan Bible and Boot Camp.
- My summary of item 3: Mentally slap yourself in the face and stop wining about how you'll never get laid. Learn to see yourself as no less than everyone else, perhaps as something greater than everyone else.
Quote:Original post by Oluseyi
*stuff*
Maybe it's just me, but I never understood this "just ask" stuff. I mean, asking with actual words. What's to ask? "Mrs.X, do you want to be my girlfriend?". Or worse, "is there anything extra-platonic in our relationship?". Even if you make it clear that you're talking about raw attraction and not something more serious (atleast yet), the fact that you pop a question of that nature and expect a defiant answer makes it seem serious. You're basically hitting on her by making her answer to questions about her feelings. She'll probably appreciate your honesty, but I think it's too direct to be "fun", and in the beginning of a relationship that's what counts.
IMO, most of the times you pretty much know when a girl likes you "that way", so asking is redudant. The rest is natural stuff. You start to tease her "that way", and if she's accepting, you make a try for something more sexual. If she doesn't want to, you just say "never hurt to try", and go on your way.
Well, you need to start thinking with it if you wanna "get some". Can't be a righteous nice guy then whine that you're a gentleman.
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