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Cover-Up Storyline Project!!!

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Ok guys I hope that this all turns out good. I got 1 guy from this site working with me on this story and we are planning on completing it! I think we could use a couple more people to help create the story though. The game will be played as a FPS (First Person Shooter) and you will be 1 playable character. A legendary master is a idea that I would describe the character. Has everything that he needs to survive and is good in everything that he does dealing with combat. So far we was thinking about the main character stoping a weapon of mass destruction but that could change most likely because we see that in a lot of games today. For example Halo and Halo 2 for Microsoft Xbox. Well right now I think we could use at least 1-3 more people for this amazing story to help bring something to life. A story keeping people on the edge of their seats waiting to see what happens next over and over again. If you think you have amazing ideas that would help possibly bring this idea realism please contact me with a brief discription summary of the game possiblity and other thoughts you have. My email is xirocx@gmail.com and that is also my email for MSN Messenger. Please also if you have any ideas for this story do post them. If your post is your own work they shall be yours and will not be copied in anyway unless permission is granted. Let the project begin and stay tuned for updates of our storyline. PS: If anyone would like to help with a website to hose all of our information about the story/game please post or email me. I think that it would be great that we had one for all of our supporters and public pals when they want to see more detailed information of the site. Thanks again! [Edited by - Spartan 151 on March 17, 2005 11:45:58 PM]

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Hmm... If your character starts out as a legendary master, what kind of personal growth is left for him to go through during the story? 'Perfect' characters generally make for boring stories; a character who has flaws and things they still need to learn is more interesting.

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I did some fantastic work. The story will be played as 1 character and I have a really good backround of him. I wont be announcing his real namebecause its going to be a secrete but I havent thought of his codename. If anyone has some ideas please do let me know. But anyway here is a sample of his backround. Character was born and raised till the age of 5 in Hinsen , Alaska. Father abandoned him at the age of 5 due to a chemicle spill incident in Hinsen and never fount his body. The Character also became a G.I. Specialists also known as a Blitz ( Made-up word.) and trained in Close Combat and Ranged Combat with weapons. And the Jinju (Made-up word) Melee Art. So far thats all I have for his backround but there is more to come you can count on that. But if anyone has any ideas do please let me know. And if you like these ideas that I created for a backround please do leave your oppinion about it. Thanks again guys. You are the best!!!

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It really doesn't sound like you have anything thusfar.

The background information on him is above and beyond cliche. It's almost more of a parody of a parody of a FPS.

Don't attempt to create a character that is everything (as already mentioned, masters don't grow). Pick one idea that your character will represent. Think mythologically. Is your character a "savior" (Jesus Christ), a "redeemer" (Siddhartha Gautama of the Sakyas, aka Buddha), a "war hero" (Odysseus from Homer's "The Odyssey"), or even slightly less efficacious in worldy terms? Perhaps he is a man consumed with vengeance for some act. Perhaps he is "just a man" compelled to do something above and beyond that which could be expected from "just a man". A good start for many game characters is to find an idea like one mentioned above that your character will symbolize.

Then take a look at Joseph Campbell's "journey of the hero" (better yet, read his book "The Hero With a Thousand Faces") and begins developing a character from there.

If you want it to be even more meaningful (for you to write), try to narrow down the character traits that you most admire and begin there.

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Quote:
Original post by sunandshadow
Hmm... If your character starts out as a legendary master, what kind of personal growth is left for him to go through during the story? 'Perfect' characters generally make for boring stories; a character who has flaws and things they still need to learn is more interesting.


@sunandshadow - While far from obtainable by this author, wouldn't it be intresting to kind of 'play backwards'? Think of something like the movie Memento. You have this character that is some legendary master, and you start out with all the neat skills and whatever. As the game progresses, you lost skills as you gain your experience. It's not that the game will get easier as your skill lowers, you will have to be more strategic and such - but that is a bit apart from the writing side. I think I've read of this concept before somewhere, that's the only reason I am bringing it up [smile].

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I think his comment (which is how I read it) was under the assumption that the character was going to stay the same or get better over the course of the game.

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Original post by dgaf
I think his comment (which is how I read it) was under the assumption that the character was going to stay the same or get better over the course of the game.


Oh, yes, that's how I read it as well. That's why I tried to direct by post to S&S as something 'intresting' if she has not ever heard of something like that before [smile]

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While far from obtainable by this author, wouldn't it be intresting to kind of 'play backwards'? Think of something like the movie
This is an interesting implementation, it works well with multi-plot stories with non-static past. That is, depending on how you play, a different past will be revealed which alters the way you interpret what is actually going on in the 'present'.

I think that what s/s said was just a general statement. It is rather obvious that you can tell a great story using static charactres. The level of discovery does not need to be at the level of the character, it can be at the player level. For example mystery stories can feature static characters, but the overall story is still interesting.

However s/s's generalization that a 'legendary master' is a 'perfect' character is unsound. On the other hand, there is nothing wrong featuring a 'perfect' character, just look at what happens if you put jesus in rome, won't that make a great story?

If you don't take jesus, just take mickey mouse and put him in any situations. It is not alway the character that determines the story, but also the combination of it and the situations.

[Edited by - Estok on March 16, 2005 1:27:46 AM]

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Guest Anonymous Poster
I like the Idea of a reversal evolution of your character. Imagine that you are playing all the situations which brought you to the position you start the game at? Imagine you actually start the game with the fight with the ultimate villain and all your supermoves, if it was a RPG. You would end up killing him in no time. Then you start playing a sequence in which you have to make your way through a load of subserviants called moochas, I think. (take a look at a Pen-&-paper RPG called Feng-Shui, it DOES give some nice ideas...) And you work your way backwards for your skills.
Has anyone ever played a game named Tales of Symphonia, on Gamecube? the special moves for each character are ranked as level 1, 2 and 3 special moves, and gained after achieving a certain number of special moves of inferior levels. Now imagine what it would be if you had to work your way backwards, starting the game KNOWING you have made so many of these moves to get where you are, but can't remember where or when? You DO know that you already have done, say, 13 level 3 special combos, but don't know when you did them? What if you used them unexpectedly on moochas, and finaly went on your backwards journey to find that you had encountered a very difficult semi-boss just before? Who would have probably ben a lot easier to beat if you actually had not blasted those moochas with the level 3 moves, but him instead? Which means that the moochas should have been killed with something else...
A sort of reversal engineering puzzle, within a RPG of some sort..
Wouldn't that be fun? Ever wondered what it would be like to play Devil May Cry backwards? Here is your chance...

Faithfully Yours,
Nicolas FOURNIALS

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Sounds nice. But it seems like you are advertising in this section which doesnt bother me. Well guys what im trying to do is put togeather something like Metal Gear Solid except its a FPS and more fighting then sneaking around and watching movies. Of course there will be clips during boss fights if we have them or something. I just would like someone to join us. Mabey then we can put something togeather. Im a good writer and all but im not Hideo Kojima. Heres the plan...

1. Main Character Details.
2. Important Character Details.
3. Military Fighting Against.
4. Plot of Fighting.
All this is just for right now. We will think about the rest later.

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Wow guys I did a good amount of work on the story today. Pretty much how everything is going to start off. Once im finished I will be givinig you guys a brief detail about it. Im also sorry for the double post but I didnt think you all would read the post if it was in a earlier post. But when im done typing it all up I will post it on this post using edit. Look out for the launch of information!

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Here it is... I hope you all love it. If you have any ideas that you might want to implement into this story do please share! By the way im Kevin W. and I hope that this information that im sharing with you all isnt stolen and please do respect my properity. Thanks and enjoy!
*EDIT* So sorry again for the tripple post. I always forget to edit the other one. Took me awhile to type this up and got into my story and I guess I forgot to edit the last statement! Sorry fellas.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Game Name: Memory (Not Official)

*Quote- "It's been known to be told that it doesn's take a 30 year old to tell a good story, Let me tell you mine..."
Kevin W. (BlackCell Studios)

1. Character Details:

-Main Playable Character- Brock Rynes: Born December 8, 2071 in Hinsen Alaska. Raised by his father untill the age of 5. Was seperated from him during an attack from an unknown Military Force called "Militia". Has one sister that he doesn't know of at all. Doesn't know his mother at all either. Ran away to a city called Cessena where he lived in the streets. He trained using different guns that he had stolen from shops around in town. Doesn't know that his father works at Militia HQ.

-Father Character- Hein Rynes: Works for "Militia Headquarters", and is the Captain/Owner of the HQ. A scientist that studies weaponry and suit capabilities for "Cybornetic Engine Suits" also known as "CES's" which he builds/built. Has no information about his daughter and doesn't even know she was born. Knows everything about his wife that he killed because of an arguement that he had with her about his job. He had a "Cover Up" for the murder of his wife by Militia HQ.

-Mother Character- Cindy Rynes: Not much is known about Cindy except for the fact that she was murdered and was covered up by her husband. Had a daughter when she "supposbly went on a buisness trip for a year". Hein Rynes has no idea that she was born.

-Sister Character- Krystal Rynes: A little is known about Krystal. She was born on May 13, 2076 in Morien Alaska. She has information about her brother but no recent information about what he looks like. After her mother's death she stayed with a family that fount her in the streets of Morien. When she reached the age of 14, she ran away from the foster family in search for her brother Brock using all the information she had that was given to her by her mother.


2. Story Details:

Brock being seperated from his father at the age of 5 from a crucial attack of 50 soldiers dressed up in black cybornetic suits completely loaded with ammo and guns. The soldiers incapitated over 2000 townsfolk searching through the streets, offices, and other places. The soldiers now had complete control of Hinsen. Brock managed to run far away and to another city called Cessena. As he slept in the streets with very little food, he prayed every night that he would find his father again and find out more about his family. Brock managed to steal guns from various gun shops in town which he used to train. He sworn that he will get revenge from Militia HQ for all that they done. 12 years later on August 22, 2088, Brock returned to Hinsen to seek revenge and to gather the more information about what happened. <TO BE CONTINUED>

*NOTE*: This story will be edited and changed but most of this information is official!

[Edited by - Spartan 151 on March 16, 2005 11:58:44 PM]

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Wow, that is a lot better that what I have seen from you so far, good work! However a few things:

"Militia". I think a little more creative or unique name would add depth and intrest to your story [wink]

"Memory". Ditto. It's not that these are bad, it's just you need something that will stand out and be creative. All your other names I think are great. The "Cybornetic Engine Suits", while acceptable might be changed to something that sounds more...formidable. Like for example, M.E.C.H., and give it a great expansion of the acronymon, but don't use that. That or think of a unique 'Code Name' for the suits to refer to them.

Other than that, sounds like a good start! However, the whole theme seems a little cliche - someone seeking revenge, with some twist with parents, and then some other twist with another child, etc... That is just my opinion though.

- Drew

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1. Kid loses parents/family.
2. Goes after those responsible.
3. Plot twist: father is a part of those responsible.

That formula has been around since stories were first told. If you want to go that route, you will have to be a great storyteller or your story will be lost among the other cliches.

It seems as though you are trying to add dramatic moments and twists to your story (which is fine), but you're using the same elements and twists as many, many puplar stories. What will make this one better (and different) from those others? I would recommend developing some unique elements to your story so that it's not this simple, cliche sequence. The audience will pick this up as soon as you say "your high-clearance engineer dad has vanished. I think the 'militia' (with high-tech equipment made by...an engineer) may have been responsible. Go investigate"...

And the "Luke, I am your father" plot point has got to go (or be changed).

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Hehe. Thanks bro. I hope you like it. If you want to join and help me out let me know. And dgaf you got me confused lol sorry. Do you all want to talk on MSN??? Add Spartan151@gmail.com. By the way Dgaf, Brock knows his father and knows everything about him except the part where he killed his mother and works for Militia!

[Edited by - Spartan 151 on March 16, 2005 11:25:48 PM]

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Guest Anonymous Poster
I might be far-fetching a little the criticisms I am going to throw in, but anyway...

A militia, as my dictionnary states is:1. originally, any military force, Later,any army composed of citizens rahter than professional soldiers, called up in time of emergency. 2. In the U.S., all able-bodied male citizens between 18 and 45 years old who are not alreadymembers of the regular armed forces: members fo the National Guard and of the Reserves (of the Army, Air Force, Coast Guard, Navy, and Marine Corps)

This means that, if your "militia" is non-governmental, and it appears so, it must exist for a reason. Any reason. Since it is pretty obvious that the militia has a pretty high firepower, and able soldiers, either they are mercenaries hired to perform the hits of the militia, or they are ordinary citizens given extraordinary weaponry by Rynes. Anyway, they need a goal to accomplish. I can easily imagine that this militia has set itself the task to overthrow the dystopic and tyrannic government of the US in these times, or decided to relaunch a hotter cold war with the Russians to conquer Kamtchatka, because there might be some more petrol there and World Petrol reserves are running low, in order to ensure National Domination over the world... Anything will do, even the worst ideals. but they MUST have a goal, and be run by citizens caring for their well-being. For all I know, this militia could even be a sort of Pinkerton Army, ready to serve in a "Iron Heel" like environment.

As for your C.E.S., I find it difficult not to smile at that one... Can you SERIOULSY imagine yourself saying aloud "I am going to step in my C.E.S. 'pit"? wouldn't this kind of detail completely ruin the feeling you're trying to give? Having a badly chosen name for anything can go a long way in terms of jokes. Ask your local kindergarden children. they can invent names for most of their little comrades, are mean and cruel to everything, and won't hesitate to throw to pieces your beloved project, if they can make a ten-second laugh out of it. Believe me. C.E.S. is NOT what you're aiming for.

Otherwise, I quite like your ideas. I does remind me a little of Black-Delta: tchernobyl, or of other small companies games, which had incredible background settings and poor playability. DO be careful to have a good gameplay if you don't want to be thrown to the C.E.S. pit with the other small companies games. And nice graphics would be nice too.

Yours faithfully,
Nicolas FOURNIALS

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How about putting lots of viewpoints?

whenever the character finds a clue to his father or what happened to his mother, let it trigger a "memory" . memories are scenarios where the player can play someone else with different skills. Like a detective putting the pieces of a crime together and reenacting the scene. hmm.. I guess memory isn't the best thing to call it...

as an example:
Brock finds a broken doll in a hall. the screen fades and he is now a little child running and dodging from the bad men trying to kill him, the Child (brock) sees the body of a woman (brock's mom) being dragged away. A soldier runs and smacks the child with the rifle and breaking the doll in the process..

as a better memory related example. Brock need clues about a weapons dealer related to his father. he could have a flash back where hie is back in his young days starting out in a little raid. during the raid (if he survives) he overhears some of his budies talking where they got their weapons). flashback is over, the player can then use this learned/remembered information to find the possible weapons dealer

This could enable the player to have uber leet skills in the real timeline but still play weak, not-so powerful characters in flashbacks. Dying during a flash back will not harm the player but may miss clues to the story (ie. seeing the body of the mom being hidden, dealer)

edit: this gives a great chance to explore the character background and a refreshing change of pace by dynamically altering the player stats for a short time.

hope this helps

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Why don't you name the main character's father "Jim Rynes". That way when the militia suits up in their CES suits, you can call their armored (breathing apparatus) helmets the "jimmy hat".

It's not safe out there without protection. Sorry, I've had a long day...

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Its all good information. I think I need to revise the main thing a little. Its too sharp. I have to give more specific reasons for him going back to Hinsen Alaska after he ran away from that brutal attack. I will look into this after I get out of this school because im off work. Lets hope something hops into my head while im waiting to get home! Oh and for those viewpoints, I had those in mind anyway to have the emotional part of the story. I guess Im 1 step ahead of you but you did post some good ones that I didnt even think of. Mabey we can use that if its ok with you!

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I am also Spartan 151 just to let you all know. Im still at school. Do you guys really think that this game storyline that Im creating might be something that gamers would want to play?

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Ok guys. Im pretty much done with the intro of the story. I wanted to see if anyone wanted to put togeather a movie beginning with a kid walking with his father in a high-tech city. Then getting attack by those soldiers. If anyone would like to do this please contact me or something. Thanks!

PS: Story and Game is now going to be called Cover-Up! Please let me know your oppinions about this!

[Edited by - Th3 7ru7h on March 17, 2005 11:23:15 PM]

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Before you journey out into the writer's abyss (is that a real place?), I would recommend that you spend some time reading a few mythology books. You can't go wrong with Joseph Campbell's "Hero with a Thousand Faces". I think reading that book (or even skimming it) would give you a better place to begin creating your own character's journey...and for a deeper universe to draw from, some study of his other books (especially the "Masks of the Gods") as well as a brief study of the various (popular) world religions would also give you a good place to begin developing deeper, richer, and better stories as well as the worlds in which to tell them.

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Quote:
Original post by Spartan 151
Mabey we can use that if its ok with you!


no problem.

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