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H_o_p_s    877
Two Irish men walk out of a bar! Get it? Har! Har! Har! It is almost as funny as: Two Mexicans drove by in a truck! Whew.... These were the two big stupid jokes back when I was in HighSchool *Shudder* Anyone else have really bad jokes?

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Tron3k    660
I once saw a bumper sticker that said, "MY OTHER CAR IS A CDR."

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fractoid    703
Two blondes walk into a bar. BOOM BOOM!

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I got suspended last time I posted in one of these threads.[sad] I'll keep my jokes to myself.

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boolean    1829
Two birds where sitting on a perch

One said to the other "Can you smell fish?"

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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boolean    1829
BA HA HA HA!!! I like that one [lol]

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benryves    1999
Two flies were sitting in a toilet.
One got pissed off.

Two fish in a tank, one says to the other "'ere, how do you drive this thing?"

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a pirate walks into a bar and asks for a beer, the bar tender asks "what is that steering wheel on your pants for?" the pirate replys "arrg! its driving me nuts!"

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capn_midnight    1707
(light a cigarette lighter) "Hey baby, ever slept with a pyromaniac? They say it's pretty hot."

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Jim: How many ADHD kids does it take to unscrew a lightbulb?

Joe: I don't know, how many?

Jim: ...wanna go ride bikes?

-IV

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UltimaX    468
I seen this on a car today:

"I got this bumper sticker for my girlfriend... Best trade I ever made!"

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Wan    1366
Quote:
 Original post by H_o_p_sTwo Irish men walk out of a bar!Get it? Har! Har! Har! It is almost as funny as:Two Mexicans drove by in a truck!

But not nearly as funny as:

Two programmers go out on a date!

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supercoder74    154
Can you hold on to this?
C:\Dos
C:\Dos\Run
Run\Dos\Run!

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Moe    1256
Quote:
 Original post by supercoder74Can you hold on to this?C:\DosC:\Dos\RunRun\Dos\Run!

That's up there with:

There are only 10 kinds of people - those that know binary and those that don't.

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H_o_p_s    877
Quote:
Original post by Moe
Quote:
 Original post by supercoder74Can you hold on to this?C:\DosC:\Dos\RunRun\Dos\Run!

That's up there with:

There are only 10 kinds of people - those that know binary and those that don't.
That is one of my favorite ones of all time though! I actually have a shirt that has that on it....

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benryves    1999
Quote:
 Original post by skittleoHow do you fit an elephant onto a subway....?... You take the 's' out of sub and the 'f' out of way.
I don't get it. [embarrass]

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Avatar God    1072
Quote:
Original post by benryves
Quote:
 Original post by skittleoHow do you fit an elephant onto a subway....?... You take the 's' out of sub and the 'f' out of way.
I don't get it. [embarrass]

Me neither... I've heard jokes like this... but...

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Nice Coder    366
two strings walk into a bar

One says to the bartender "Hi, i want some beerseawotwnaetlkn%#@$^@(#*!*(%^!#(*$^!(#*&%@(#YNASDKLVFNawlfhtwenawjkhtjwnefahweifnawelnfaklwnfklawhyrlawnrf&*^#*(@%
%)U&Q@#%JR{E#RWNME$ITHW$TW\$N@
2352q
52abskjbfwe490r5u7wejafawerawefwe"

The other says "Sorry, my freinds not null terminated"

From,
Nice coder

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Quote:
Original post by Avatar God
Quote:
Original post by benryves
Quote:
 Original post by skittleoHow do you fit an elephant onto a subway....?... You take the 's' out of sub and the 'f' out of way.
I don't get it. [embarrass]

Me neither... I've heard jokes like this... but...

Thirding that. I thought it'd be a phonetic thing, but it isn't, as far as I can tell. Explain.

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frostburn    380
An ion walks into a bar: "Bartender - I've lost an electron here last night!"
Bartender: "Are you sure?"
the ion: "I'm positive!"

(sorry.. NiceCoder started it)

One more in line with the topic:

Q: Why can't you starve in the desert?
A: Because of all the sand which is there.

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frostburn    380
Quote:
Original post by Boris Karloff
Quote:
Original post by Avatar God
Quote:
Original post by benryves
Quote:
 Original post by skittleoHow do you fit an elephant onto a subway....?... You take the 's' out of sub and the 'f' out of way.
I don't get it. [embarrass]

Me neither... I've heard jokes like this... but...

Thirding that. I thought it'd be a phonetic thing, but it isn't, as far as I can tell. Explain.

Not sure, but I think I got the "f... out of way" part ("..." included for clarity)

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I was thinking something along those lines, too, but it still doesn't make any sense. And if that's indead what the F means, then it should be worded better, perhaps like this:

Quote:
 How do you fit an elephant onto a subway....?... You take the 's' out of the sub and get the 'f' out of the way.

The use of the words "the" and "get" are very important for it to make sense.

However, then I still don't get it. Why should you get out of the way when you take the 's' out of sub? Ubway. Not something I'd run away from.

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Oberon_Command    6081
(Translation)

You take the shit out of the sub and get the fuck out of the way.

Now let's hope I don't get suspended for that.

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Guest Anonymous Poster
A carrot and a potato are in a pot of boiling water on the stove
The carrot says: "hey, hot enough for you?"
and the potato says: "holy fuck! A talking carrot!"