Starting video: you see a 7-year-old boy looking out a crack in his door watching mom and dad fight, the fight ends with the did hitting her and leaving the house for good. 11 years later You see the same boy now as an 18-year-old (on his birthday) being yelled at by his mom “so? You are 18, now the bull**** you do in your life is up to you. What have you done with your life that’s so great anyways?” You end up leaving that day to go and live your own life. Job: street racing. You build up your reputation and earn decent money with your job, you are 22 at this time. After winning a race for $5,000, you get word a local drug dealer is holding a giant race through Chicago, start here and get here any way you can, rules: $7,000 entry fee. No highways. No murdering others during the race. You must have a camera in the car you are driving at all times to assure that you are not cheating and the drug dealer may sell it off the internet. If your car crashes, you may steal another one as long as you put the cameras in the same places as they where in with your last car. 15 contestants, winner takes all. You will the race (you are forced to hijack one car, the rest is up to you) and you get a suitcase with 95,000 (the dealer kept 10 grand) but you know that a picture was taken of you as you stole the car, the police will get you soon. So you hide the suitcase by burying it in the local forest preserve. You are found and arrested the next day. Since this is your first major offense, you are only sentenced to 10 years. When you get out of prison, you are 32, and ready for that money to help you get your life back. You dig up the suitcase and take it to your apartment, you open it to see it is a bomb, you run as fast as you can, due to the fact the bomb was old and defective it was delayed 5 seconds, you get out with major wounds. Your lawyer is able to convince the judge that it had nothing to do with the race that the money was not given to him at the time he was caught and that was a suitcase he stole from the airport. You get a 10,000-dollar fine (for the damages) and 2 months in jail. A year later you are recovered from your injuries and the first thing you want to do is kill the drug dealer. You want to kill him and find a home in another country to live the remainder of your life. However, you don’t want to do it yourself and hit men don’t come cheap. and your living (armed robberies from other towns that are far away) (gameplay part there). As you are walking down the street one day you see a murder, the man that was murdered was your dad, due to the fact you bitterly hated him you testify on the murders side, he is found innocent because of your testimony. You meet him later and make a deal, in thanks for the testimony he will help you with the hit for some of the dealers money.By chance the hit man knows where the dealer is too, you and him get into his house (killing 2). When you come in the dealer gives you a suitcase he had on a shelf claiming it has 100,000 (he shows you the cash in it and locks the suitcase) in turn for his life. That was there because he had to pay that to somebody tomorrow, but he will use another stash for that now. At that, the hit man gives him three shots to the head then turns it on you and kills you. He flees the scene and opens the suitcase, it was a bomb that was under a few dollars of cash, the lock started it when the dealer locked it, there where no mistakes this time, he dies in the blast. The end

Pretty detailed story there. :) But fairly intriguing, though I'm confused - is this a story you desire to incorporate into a game? Or just a creative writing / short story?

With the amount of attention given to some of the story elements, I didn't see much room for game play. For example, does it focus on the street race? The 10-yr prison sentence? Or is it the post-prison events leading up to the character's death?

As a short story on it own merit, I personally found it entertaining. GJ...

-Razorguts

gameplay would be the street races, the roberies and getting into the dealers mansion.

Lots of nice ideas there, sure (especially with a lot of time passing inbetween chapters, I don't think this has been used a lot) But are you dictating the goals/actions of the protagonist a little too heavy-handedly? After all, he has no pressing need to do most of the stuff you've written.

The gameplay elements (street racing, robberies, infiltration) make me think of GTA, and this of course suggests a more free-form and loose story too, with you sort of "making your own destiny" as the troubled protagonist. If the story would allow you to do all of those throughout, while working towards your final goal (for example the dealer), I would personally find it a whole lot sweeter.

for the races, if I was to design the game I would make the the entire city of chicago (for the great race) and just take sections off for the race. as for the robberies it would be something like gta, you would have the choice to pick which one you want to rob and have the option of looking at it so see how you are going to do this.

if you are wondering about the chicago thing, I live there so I would center it there.

bump