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Mr_Ridd

Storyline Concept

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Mr_Ridd    130
Hey Please can you c&c on this storyline. Tell me if it sucks :) and where it can be improved. I haven't got names yet, so don't worry about that. A top undercover agent (Assassin Hunter ), of the European Union, is found guilty and sent to life imprisonment in a high security underground prison after shooting and killing an eleven year old boy in order to destroy his target. “Name of Leader”, being the father of the deceased boy and leader of the “Group Name” terrorist group, decides to take revenge on the European government, killing off high profile political powers to bring down the hierarchy. The government soon fights back and cities and towns become war zones. People being forced to abandon what they have and flee to far away lands. As the American and Soviet governments try to aid, “Name of Leader” becomes headstrong and begins to unleash the same punishment on them. As did the European Union, these two powers crumble from the inside. The “Group Name” group, now the size of an army, seem to be unstoppable. Neighbouring countries, fearing the same might happen to them, keep their distance and watch empires disappear. After four years, all that can bee seen across Europe, the States and the Soviet Union is death and destruction. Cities and towns lose all essence of life and a dreary atmosphere hangs overhead. It appears as though half the world is being commanded by a madman. No-one knows what will happen next? Thanks

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Well, it's not much of a game story. The ending doesn't seem like it can be in any way affected by the player's actions. In fact, there doesn't seem to be any main character at all, unless you play as "Name of Leader" and it's an RTS world-destruction game.

It seems more like a set-up story. This might be the opening cutscene for a game set just after this happens. Maybe you're the now-middle-aged top agent busting out of jail and using your super-tough skills to assassinate the leader and set the world on a slow course to recovery.

No matter what, you'll get more insightful comments on the Writing for Games board. Try it there.

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