Quote: This is an extract of an National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Army Lieutenant General Reinwald about sponsoring a Boy Scout Troop on his military installation. Female Interviewer: "So, Lt. Reinwald, what are you going to do with these young boys on their adventure holiday?" Lt. Reinwald: "We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting." Female Interviewer: "Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?" Lt. Reinwald: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the range." Female Interviewer: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?" Lt. Reinwald: "I don't see how, we will be teaching them proper range discipline before they even touch a firearm." Female Interviewer: "But you're equipping them to become violent killers." LTG Reinwald: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?"

Quote:
Washington Post article... the title of the article was "Best Comeback Line Ever."

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dracula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday.

Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need."

"I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor.

"I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin."

Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.

"I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?'

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there and then looked me straight in the face and said:

"A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?"

Quote:Original post by Sneftel
How appropriate. You fight like a cow.

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Lady Astor: "Mr. Churchill you're drunk!"

Churchill: "And you, Lady Astor, are ugly. As for my condition, it will pass by the morning."

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Lady Astor: "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your tea."

Churchill: "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."