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Gosmo

Storyline

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i didnt knwo where to put this so i figred it would go here. i have came up with a small storyline for my Mmorpg War Of Creatures (Workign Title) here it is: Since the beginning of time the four dominant species have been fighting for there religion. They were at war. For years the Dorgs, Belligents, Sagorgs, and the Dels have fought to please there god. Each specie had its own religion. Dorgs had believed that they had to be the dominant species and take control over Willis. Dorgs were evil spirited and aggressive. The god of the dorgs, Evor, was disappointed with the dorgs…so he turned them into evil spirited creatures. The dorgs were once peaceful creatures. But Evor wanted the dorgs to rule. The Dorgs started the war. They wanted to be the rulers. But so did the sagorgs. There was so much evil in them. The Sagorgs were always evil. Their god, Troug , had a special power from the amulet of darkness. When the Dorgs found out about this amulet they were destined to get it. Bellingents however wanted to destroy the Amulet of Darkness. The Belligents had always been protected by the Shield of Garut that there god Randae had given them. Woran, the god of the Dels, had thought the Belligents were evil. But they were not. The Dels were sent to destroy The Shield or Garut. This is when the war between the four had started. The Dels also had a special ring called the Ring of Unlimited. It had increased there attack power by very much. The Dorgs wanted the AOD. The Sagorgs wanted the ROU. The Belligents wanted to destroy the ring and the amulet. And the Dels wanted to destroy the AOD. If the ROU and the AOD was worn at the same time on the same body… It would end civilization. Thus… the war has just begun. NOTE: I didnt check grammer yet so there mgiht be soem mispelled things

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This should be in the "Writing for Games" forum...

You really should of checked for grammar before posting. Saying that you didn't check only makes things worse. Just pasting your story in Word would probably have gotten rid of a bunch of them... You had like four errors in your note alone...

I'm no english prof but atleast I try to re-read my posts to get rid of any obvious mistakes.

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Quote:
Original post by sanch3x
This should be in the "Writing for Games" forum...

Probably true.

Quote:
You really should of checked for grammar before posting. Saying that you didn't check only makes things worse. Just pasting your story in Word would probably have gotten rid of a bunch of them... You had like four errors in your note alone...

True...

Quote:
I'm no english prof...


True. "should of", "atleast", "re-read"...

I shall say no more except a small reminder about the blind leading the blind; though Gosmo did indeed include a disclaimer about spelling and "grammer", a spellcheck would make it more appealing.

More on topic: Gosmo, your story has excellent potential and could become an excellent production. Have you ever read the Belgariad series by David Eddings?

Ta,
Twilight Dragon

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Guest Anonymous Poster
nope...all i did was go through the dictionary and mixed words togetehr untill they sounded cool lol

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Quote:
Since the beginning of time the four dominant species have been fighting for there religion. They were at war. For years the Dorgs, Belligents, Sagorgs, and the Dels have fought to please there god. Each specie had its own religion.

Since the beginning of time the Dorgs, Belligents, Sagorgs, and Dels have fought for their god, religion, and complete control of Willis.
Quote:
Dorgs had believed that they had to be the dominant species and take control over Willis. Dorgs were evil spirited and aggressive. The god of the dorgs, Evor, was disappointed with the dorgs…so he turned them into evil spirited creatures. The dorgs were once peaceful creatures. But Evor wanted the dorgs to rule. The Dorgs started the war. They wanted to be the rulers.

While it would be easy to believe that the Dorgs were always had always been evil, that would be a mistake. Their god Evor had other plans and his own motivations, he was becoming increasingly convinced that the other gods wanted to steal his Amulet of Darkness. Thus Evor twisted the once peaceful Dorgs into evil spirited creatures that want nothing less than complete control and the destruction of any that stand in the way of their god.

I am by no means or claim to be a professional writer, but here are some re-writes/ideas.

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