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newguy35717

renegade(all remarks welcome)

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newguy35717    122
Game Analysis Name: Renegade Rating: Teen-Mature Player(s): 1 Genre: 3d Action/Adventure, Fighting, Shooting Maker: New Stuff Inc. Prelude Wilson City was once a very peaceful place until one day a well organized, powerful criminal syndicate soon had control of the government and even the police force. The city has become a center of violence and crime, where no one is safe... Major Character(s) Name: Brian Garnet('Garnet') DOB: 12-23-1982 Age: 25 Height: 6'1'' Weight:191 lbs. Nationality: American(Brazilian descent) Personality: Lone Wolf Occupation: Ex-Cop Background: Garnet was once one of the best cops in in Wilson City.He was married, had two children, and living his dream of being a cop like his father. His father, Mitchell Garnet, was killed in a gang fight that ended in an explosion. His mother, Rosa Garnet, now resides in a nursery home, Terrace Falls. Yes, Garnet couldn't have asked for anything else, but that all was about to change. On July 4, 2006, during the Independence Day Parade, Garnet and his son, Adam, went to Garnet's precinct where they witnessed a deal gone wrong. There were rumors going around about some criminal organization buying its way into the government, and know it seems like they were coming after WCPD(Wilson City Police Dept.). Before they could turn around to get help, they were captured and brought into the room with the chief commisioner of the precinct. After some more bribing the chief still refused. The men left the room and went outside. The men started to board up the building. The men then began to open fire on the whole place. No one knew what had happened until the end of the parade. Garnet was the only survivor. Out of sorrow and despair Garnet's wife, Angela Garnet, blamed him for their son's death. Garnet walked away with a bullet in his right knee, left shoulder, and right shin. After two years of rehabilitation, Garnet was back on his feet. He was now divorced and out of a job, but little did he know he would play a major role in the remodeling of Wilson City...

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frob    44920
What are you wanting remarks to?

I'm not sure why you have the "Name, Rating ... Maker" stuff on there, since it doesn't add much. But no matter.


The character background sounds somewhat similar to many other movies, games, and book out there. A typical world or role is often good because people are familiar with it, but can easily become cliche.

I don't see any bit of a story, plot, player goals, character motivations, or emotional draws in the background paragraph you wrote. A basically moral person was trying to do what is right. Then a bunch of people died and the guy's wife (and probably other people) blame him for deaths.

The only motivation I can see in the character is revenge or proving their worth to others. That's not much of a goal for a main character. Revenge and self-aggrandizement are both very selfish motivations, so they'll repel a lot of people.

The main character should have several major (mostly positive) personality traits, flaws, and quirks. They should generally have a positive motivation for doing things.
frob.

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