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Firewar -- Suggestions Needed

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"Firewar" is an idea I've been playing around with for a while, and I've decided to post it here and ask for a few ideas before I continue with it. -- Centuries have passed since the last major war ever fought on Earth, the war that overthrew most present superpowers of the Earth and made nearly every nation equal. The war that created the Internatial Coalition of Nations, an unbreakable government that controlled all others as provinces. The war that brought a false sense of utopia to the softened, ceremonial military that stands in the place of the nuclear empires we see today. World War III, as you may prefer to think of it, as bloody as it was (claiming about 1 billion people out of 7 billion), was but a dim memory compared to the next conflict which I am about to describe to you. 400 years have passed since the third World War, and the International Coalition of Nations (ICN) has moved into space to find a solution to the incredible overpopulation of Earth. 12 billion people inhabit Earth alone by the time the space program grew into a significant part of the ICN. Now, there are over 78 planetary colonies controlled by the ICN. Unfortunately, the government is plagued with corruption, and when the special Colonial Parliament is rendered useless by growing executive powers, 6 colonies secede from the ICN to form the Federation of Planetary Colonies. In the next month, 30 more follow, and the ICN declares war on their former territories. -- The game depicts the "Firewar" project, a series of battle suits developed specifically for elite Special Forces teams. The Federation steals half of them just before war is officially declared, and an eight-member Firewar Special Forces squadron is created on both sides of the war. The Federation Firewar squad's mission is simply to raid Earth's orbital defense system before continuing to the ICN capitol. The ICN Firewar squad's mission is originally to stop their enemy counterparts, but converts to an attempt to stop the corrupt President of the ICN from bringing an end to the government and plunging their government into a thousand more civil wars.

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Hi,

I rewrote some of the first passages, just minor changes. It's a nice story, I thought if you could present the Firewar suits in a better manner. For example make the player read about them as if they were reading some sort of classified material.

Then present the story when the Federation steals/captures the suits from the ICN. It might make the suits sound more important, and they seem to be for the game. Just some thoughts, good luck!


<
Centuries have passed since the last war fought on Earth, the war overthrew most present superpowers of the Earth and made every nation equal. The war created the International Coalition of Nations, an unbreakable government that controlled all others as provinces. The war that brought a false sense of utopia to the softened, ceremonial military that stands in the place of the nuclear empires we see today. World War III, as you may prefer to think of it, as bloody as it was claiming billions of lives, was but a dim memory compared to the next conflict.

400 years have passed since the third World War, and the International Coalition of Nations (ICN) has moved into space to find a solution to the overpopulation of Earth. 12 billion people inhabit Earth alone by the time the space program grew into a significant part of the ICN. Now, there are over seventy-eight planetary colonies controlled by the ICN. Unfortunately, the government is plagued with corruption, and when the special Colonial Parliament is rendered useless by growing executive powers, six colonies secede from the ICN to form the Federation of Planetary Colonies. In the next month, thirty more follow, and the ICN declares war on their former territories.
>

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I just came up with that while I was thinking about what actually happens in this project. Keeping that entire segment isn't a very high priority for me, but if you have a good way to make it smart, interesting, and original (no Master Chief clones here), I'm listening.

As for rewriting the final paragraph...
--
[Firewar Test Station, 0825 hours]
<CLASSIFIED -- EYES ONLY (certified FAdm. David Pettigrew, ID: DP94835049539QR)>

TO: FAdm. David Pettigrew
FROM: Captain Tyler Grimaldi
RE: First Strike

Admiral, the Federation insurgents have nearly destroyed the station. About half of the battle suits are gone; we have recovered the rest and used them to beat back the last of the boarding parties. On a more optimistic note, I was satisfied by the extra protection provided by the suits. The station's database has been wiped clean, and we have escaped on the frigate Antietam.

Sir, I am requesting permission to prepare the new Firewar squadron for a surprise attack on the Federation colony of Eridanus II. We have the resources to strike them where they least expect it, and find out where the other battle suits are being used. I fear that this setback may turn the tide of the war if we do not prevent the Federation from using their new technology.

<END OF TRANSMISSION>
--

P.S. Character development will be covered in another post.

[Edited by - georgec on January 22, 2006 4:05:38 PM]

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Just regarding the likelihood of the events, well, it just doesn't seem likely.

You might want to explain why the ICN can control everyone and everything for centuries (except, for whatever reason, births) before collapsing. It could easily be that the ICN just couldn't control so many planets - if so, add that in.

I also realize that it's just a quick overview here, and it sounds pretty interesting -- can't wait to see more.

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(This is probably why nobody has replied for the last three days...)
Any more suggestions?

[Edited by - georgec on January 25, 2006 5:29:30 PM]

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I liked what I read.
I can't say I particularly care about the story of a game - probably why RPGs bore me to death but I like the 'suits' idea.

I think this could provide a novel approach to the gameplay.

It instantly reminded me of Gunbound.
Image 1
Image 2

Before each battle, you much select your 'mobile' or 'machine'. Each machine has its own strengths (attack, defense or mobility) and it has 2 weapons.

This means that people become skilled with their favourite mobile.
It also means that in battle, you can instantly identify what your enemy is capable of and what you are up against.

I don't know if you have thought ahead to how your idea could translate into gameplay and features.

No critique on your writing - just thinking out loud :)

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Most of the suits are the same (some are meant for snipers and provide increased mobility, some are meant to be thrown into the middle of epic firefights), but they can be upgraded pretty easily as the player goes further into the game. Somewhat like a simplified, less chaotic version of the stunning customiation system in the first MechWarriors games.

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Out of curiosity, are these suits closer to being a mech (mostly machine, very large, very powerful, very well armed) or more like an human exoskeleton (stronger, a little bulkier, but still a person)?

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Remove your presence from the narrative. You try to involve the reader/player into this world of yours, but if you keep reminding them that this is just a story you are presenting to them the illusion is gone.

Quote:
was but a dim memory compared to the next conflict which I am about to describe to you.


If you really want to include yourself, do it in a form of a character telling a story. For example a dying old veteran telling his life story how they fought with battlesuits etc.

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The Firewar armor is an exoskeleton, but has its own contained environment, so the wearer can survive in vacuum for a certain period of time.

The customization system is a cross between the Ghost Recon and MechWarriors systems. The player chooses weapons, rounds (high-explosive, shredder, and armor-piercing, among others) and armor adjustments for his team before some missions. In addition, visual gear (helmet flashlights and infra-red visors, etc.), handy tools (active camouflage, a jetpack, etc.), and extras (changing the design of your team's armor)

[Edited by - georgec on January 27, 2006 6:50:08 PM]

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Guest Anonymous Poster
I really liked the story. If it were a novel in its own, complete and continued in the potential I saw, I'd definately read it - whether it was intended for a game or not.

I doubt you'll actually name this storyline "Firewar", but in case you're intending to, I just though I'd point out it's a bit blatant. I'd come up with a more creative name if you decided to go through with the storyline. It mightn't sound very possible, but in my opinion, futuristic games don't need to be, so long as they're loosley bounded withing modern reality.

As for the "pre-selection" stage to the game, I hate the idea. I really can't stand games where you're forced to stay with a certain character's abilities, specialities or inventories. I love the oldschool games like Star Wars Jedi Knight (the original ones), where you started off with the basic weapon (some sort of pistol and a lightsaber) and scavenged the "good" weapons as you went, increasing your weapons inventory as you want, with categories for the different weapon types.

That's just me, though. You could always implement that pre-selection stage very lightly, and allow the player to do as they wish as they move along, and not be restricted by hardcoded-combinations of weapons throughout the entire game. Hell, if you were angling towards the "aquired skill" side of gameplay, you could even implement "experience points" for different weapons and vehicles like RPGs have, and make more fluid movements/advanced usages unlock themselves as your certain gun/vehicle experience/levels grew. For example, maybe more accurate bullet paths or better handling.

Even though barely any of that's relevant to what you're after, I figure you're better off with me posting some sort of opinion than none. I do like the storyline, but from what others have been suggesting, I believe it'll restrict the game in certain regions.

But hey, creativity is the key to a successful game now. There's games for everything, so I'd suggest ignoring everyone's opinions and create your own, with no reference at all to any existing productions (games, TV or novels), then ask people you can talk to fluently their opinion afterwards, and make any modifications if needed.

I used to write books all the time, but never ever finsihed one - the main reason for this was that I was too influenced by other sources, and my writing became reproductions of other people's ideas. Copying successful people won't make you successful.

Goodluck with the idea, I hope you can build on it and create a more stable background, it could be a very inspiration storyline to a game provided the gameplay suits the story. Please don't copy the "fixed" character selections. In my opinion, creating your own looks is all a user should be able to do. Weapons should be based on the storyline too, like Jedi Knight's lightsaber sub-storyline. Make significant plots in the storyline unlock new weapons, like cutscenes or intense fights. This way every gun has its own significance, and you get rewarded with a more powerful and interesting armoury as you advance through the game.

But most of all, have fun planning it. The more fun you have, the more unique it'll become.

(From Mattox, registration email hasn't arrived yet) :(

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well i liked the whole idea about ICN declaring war on it's former territories in order to regain control.The rest just didn't click.but you've set up most of your story very well.

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very robust original storyline! It seems like that could be an INITIAL story for the user, but you could make alot more happen inbetween (side stories) to better accent the story(i.e. Objectives while encountering the 'old colonies' global defense systems, or 'Recon' objectives when 'landing') . I might just be reiterating something you already thought up or getting a little ahead of you or something but just a thought :). Story has great potential!

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