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Untitled sci-fi story

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I'm trying to start a sort of StarCraft game, here's what i did in 5 min for the story: By the year 3562, earth had become crowded place. There wasn’t any room left so we needed to find another habitable planet. If we could find this new place we would transport 86% of the population to this new home. However, the most promising planet lies in the 4th quadrant, this is where the Yru live. And they don’t really like us. We had our share of wars with them and the last one was pretty recent. There is a second option though: If we capture a planet the 4th quadrant of the Yru, we could use their technology to find another planet ***Remember: 5min work:P*** Feedback anyone?

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Hmmm it needs a bit of work. I realize it was thought of in five minutes but why would humans go live so near their enemy? Sure the earth is over populated but then would it be worth risking the annihalation of 86% of our population (unless that was the World Government's plan in the first place ta da da!!!!)

I mean by that year (3xxx) I hope other options would be open, such as terraforming (sp?) etc...

Maybe explain what the plot twists would be... Because so far you've only offered a very generic story line.

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I'd say your story is rather on the cliche side. In the future, Earth is _always_ overpopulated, and space colonialism _always_ leads to conflict with aliens.

What if it were the other way around? Humans still living happily and not-that-crowded on Earth, and aliens seeing, I dunno, Mars as a good planet to terraform and go live on (if you'd use Earth, it's the usual alien invasion scenario... again)?

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But 3562? We would be overcrowded way before that; unless of course we do a 'only two kids per couple' or the earth was bombarded or something, we would be overcrowded before 2350. Why not move because earth is ruined(by nuclear weapons or over harvesting are resources? Or maybe a virus of insane proportions get released and the world runs to some other planet.

Quote:
Original post by Doja
If we capture a planet the 4th quadrant of the Yru, we could use their technology to find another planet


If they have better technology, how are we to win? Unless we outnumber them greatly; perhaps 5:1...

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Quote:
Original post by Servant of the Lord

If they have better technology, how are we to win? Unless we outnumber them greatly; perhaps 5:1...


First Guarilla war or something:P,
Then use their tech.

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Guest Anonymous Poster
I would say, scrap the idea and start over. But, if you're commited... you should probably have the Yru (fix this, people need to know how to pronounce the name) involved in Earth politics, behind the scenes. Make sure they have something to gain from moving Earth closer. In order to back this, have someone from Earth with enough influence to do this, want something in return from the Yru. Another option could be to have the game about a military task force to infiltrate Yru territory to find a suitable planet...that one doesn't involve putting a majority of the human population on the line.

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Guest Anonymous Poster
Also, I forgot to mention... Try to skip the specifics. Believe it or not, readers are rarely interested in specifics. It's much better to let their imagination do the work for them. Saying 86% makes them think too much. Instead, say something like "A large potion of the population"...or something like that... it would make the reader use their own imagery and allow them to continue reading and develop their own picture.

Always skip specifics, leaving the details to help focus the reader on important story or game areas.

NOTE: A story without characters is boring... add some and perhaps you'll have a better idea on where you're going with this.

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Guest Anonymous Poster
Ack, I wish I would get the damn password to post already... then I would be able to edit.

I meant portion, not potion.... If any moderator could fix the typo and delete this post, it would be appreciated.

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Quote:
Original post by Doja
I'm trying to start a sort of StarCraft game, here's what i did in 5 min for the story:

By the year 3562, earth had become crowded place. There wasn’t any room left so we needed to find another habitable planet. If we could find this new place we would transport 86% of the population to this new home. However, the most promising planet lies in the 4th quadrant, this is where the Yru live. And they don’t really like us. We had our share of wars with them and the last one was pretty recent. There is a second option though: If we capture a planet the 4th quadrant of the Yru, we could use their technology to find another planet

***Remember: 5min work:P***

Feedback anyone?


Sounds very interesting.

First option:
Instead of a long, very long and very costy journey through the heavens looking for a planet to relocate 86% of the population, why not just make space stations? They serve the same purpose. Then those space station can build "mining and resources" ships to acquire minerals, materials and fresh food from Mars (assuming it is being terraformed). The population will be living on the space stations for a shor time before Mars is terraformed completedly. In the process, half of 86% population will be sent to Mar's terraformed colonies to live. The Yru can appear on the story as Earth's first contact with aliens. The Yru may be hostile or friendly, your choice.

Second option:
The 86% population is relocated to a vast "Titanic" space cruiser, the first Earth has ever developed. The "Titanic" goes on space and lands on the Yru planet (assuming the Yru didn't have any territories there). Then since the "Titanic" is designed to be a self-deploying colony, you wont have to worry about "building" a colony from scratch with iron rods and tubes. The "Titanic" will serve as the colony once it lands on the Yru planet. The "Titanic" will have expandable bays and the vast space ship will be able to be modified with new structures as time goes along.

Did any of these ideas helped you?

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One thing to consider is, if it's a inhabitable world, why does the enemy not live there as well and have colonised it a long time ago ? (Seeing they have space travel as well and by the time the humans get there they should allready be there and well established) or is it a hostile environment for them ? if so why would they want it back ? (valubale minerals, prevention of a human super weapon pointed at their homeworld, etc..) (Perhaps a anomality say a radiation storm killed their original settlers and the humans came there.. after the storm subsides the aliens think we killed their settlers..)

The main idea may be cliche, but the reasons why and how both for over population and why so many people are send over (no child rule on earth, 1 child rule if you move, prospect of own land, etc..) next to why and how the war started are what set it apart.. (was it due to colonisation of that world that it started or something more sinister done in a forgotten past that the player will have to discover to bring peace/victory to one or both sides)

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