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Criticism Desired

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I'm looking for some constructive, I say again, constructive critism on an image I just submitted for an assignment. It has already been submitted, but feedback would be nice anyways as it lets me know what is working and what isn't for future images. I'll be up front and say that I am not happy with the results. I spent over 7 hours modeling (yes, I'm painfully slow at modeling), and only like 2 and a half hours on texturing, lighting, and rendering. Preferably I'd have spent like 5 hours on the modeling and 5 hours on the lighting and rendering, but things didn't work how I wanted them to time wise. Faults I'm already aware of: 1) The gourd is in definate need of some bump mapping. 2) The edges of the pillow wound up way too sharp. 3) The metal on the fork needs work on its reflectivity and metallic sheen. 4) The bottle needs work on looking like realistic glass, as compared to just being glossy as it appears now. 5) The sandal could stand some bump mapping and more work on the straps. 6) The composition is boring. Click on the image to see the larger original image. Any tips, tricks, remarks, or suggestions?

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Original post by zer0wolf
6) The composition is boring.

Maybe you should work on the composition before you even start modeling, so you know what aspects to emphasize? Do a few rough sketches in pencil and paper to help you decide on a perspective and relative object placements.

Good luck!

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Im just going to make a list, take it as you will.

The flip flop needs wear marks where the heal and balls of the toes meet the leather.

The gourd doesn't seem to affect the pillow with reguards to concaving the shape and wrinkling the fabric.

All items with relecting properties in picture reflect as if there is a spotlight on them, reguardless of the fact that the picture is fairly dark.

Tiled textures for the wood table are fairly distracting where the seems meet.

the shadows are far, far to hard, soften the edges.

and

Quote:
1) The gourd is in definate need of some bump mapping.
2) The edges of the pillow wound up way too sharp.
3) The metal on the fork needs work on its reflectivity and metallic sheen.
4) The bottle needs work on looking like realistic glass, as compared to just being glossy as it appears now.
5) The sandal could stand some bump mapping and more work on the straps.
6) The composition is boring.




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Well, I would have used seamless textures, and maybe better lighting (unless intended). Honestly (I intend no offense), I wouldn't have thought the green thing is a pillow unless you actually pointed it out. It could be a little more fluffy. I would have also used more polygons on the flip-flop. The strap is very lined.

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Ya know, I was kinda wanting the sustains along with the improves.... but I guess all I get are the improves. [sad] Gotta take what I can get, though.

bschneid - It isn't so much the shininess as to the fact that I didn't bump map it to properly break up the shininess. I know what you're say, though.

Oluseyi - Typically yeah, that'd be what I'd do. I did actually already have the composition before I started modeling, the problem is that I did the composition last minute because I didn't realize the day it was due! I had to run home, throw some stuff onto the table, take a snapshot, upload the image onto my computer, and then bolt back to school. That's what I get for not paying attention to due dates!

slowpid - I agree with everything you said, except I have to comment on the lighting. I was recreating the actual lighting. It was in the evening and the sun was coming close to being parallel with the table and the only source of light was the sun coming from a single window. Those hard shadows were intentional. I should have softened them just a tad, but they were supposed to be relatively hard. I should have bumped up the specularity on the table a bit to reflect this fact.

D Shankar - The hard edges on the pillow are what ruin it. I didn't discover it until a bit late into the game. That is what I get for my lack of attention to deadlines!


Thanks a bunch for everyone's input!

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Original post by zer0wolf
slowpid - I agree with everything you said, except I have to comment on the lighting. I was recreating the actual lighting. It was in the evening and the sun was coming close to being parallel with the table and the only source of light was the sun coming from a single window. Those hard shadows were intentional. I should have softened them just a tad, but they were supposed to be relatively hard. I should have bumped up the specularity on the table a bit to reflect this fact.

D Shankar - The hard edges on the pillow are what ruin it. I didn't discover it until a bit late into the game. That is what I get for my lack of attention to deadlines!

i don't think the piece is that bad, it mainly just lacks attention to detail. the pillow probably could have been improved by taking the verts of the inside of it and scaling it up, and if possible (if you have enough verts in the center) make a few sink down lower than the rest, then apply a meshsmooth, you should now have no hard edges around the pillow and rinkles.
sometimes if you're in a hurry you can place the diffuse texture map into the bump map channel and get a semi-accurate bump effect from that, try this with the gourd. a cool trick is the render your scene, take it into photoshop and make it seamlessly tileable and use this as your reflection map, or use a real reflection, your choice. the wood table has a really bad non-tileable texture. you can see the end of the world beyond the table. and the sandle could use a little wear and tear here and there.
however it isn't too bad, what program did you use for the modeling?

p.s. with lighting in 3d it is much different than in reallife, unless you're using your renders global illumination. if you're not using gi you need to use much more than just one light for the lighting along with various lighting colors to reproduce the mix of colors from the reflection of light from all objects in a scene. when you do use this many lights, don't turn them up high, turn thier brightness low, eventaully your scene will look so much better than it originally did even though only the lighting has changed. the lighting of a scene is just as important as the modeling and texture (almost more).

[Edited by - Jarrod1937 on October 4, 2006 9:24:24 PM]

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I used Maya. It is pretty much what I always use unless one of my classes requires me to use something else. I love the feel of it and what it can do.

I guess it it hard to tell with the lighting, but the center of the pillow is sunk down. I screwed up on the edges of the pillow, but what makes the middle of the pillow look wrong is that I neglected to use final gathering to make the gourd sinking into the pillow believable. I actually intended on using GI as well, but for the last render I accidently forgot to click to use it! I didn't have time to rerender it, either. I was literally working until the last minute.

It is amazing how many details you can continue to work on. Many of the problems that people have pointed out haven't been to a lack of attention to detail, but moreso a lack of time to implement those details. I have spent a reasonable amount of time studying lighting theory, it just takes time to implement it! I appreciate your pointing it out, however, so don't get me wrong. It is good to see the things that jump out at people, so it makes me know where to prioritize my workflow given a time crunch.

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Original post by zer0wolf
I used Maya. It is pretty much what I always use unless one of my classes requires me to use something else. I love the feel of it and what it can do.

I guess it it hard to tell with the lighting, but the center of the pillow is sunk down. I screwed up on the edges of the pillow, but what makes the middle of the pillow look wrong is that I neglected to use final gathering to make the gourd sinking into the pillow believable. I actually intended on using GI as well, but for the last render I accidently forgot to click to use it! I didn't have time to rerender it, either. I was literally working until the last minute.

It is amazing how many details you can continue to work on. Many of the problems that people have pointed out haven't been to a lack of attention to detail, but moreso a lack of time to implement those details. I have spent a reasonable amount of time studying lighting theory, it just takes time to implement it! I appreciate your pointing it out, however, so don't get me wrong. It is good to see the things that jump out at people, so it makes me know where to prioritize my workflow given a time crunch.

but with use of 7 hours you could have done a lot more modeling wise, i do believe some is a lack of attention to detail, but i will give it to you that the texturing and lighting may have just been rushed.

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I think enough has been said in this thread. Just keep practising, and improving. There are alot of suggestions and crits I can make, but I think you are well beyond what you need to know crit-wise at this point. There are some very general and fundamental issues that you will work out, and moving onto the minutia is excessive ATM. Just constantly practice and keep us updated.

Just a note, about the time. Don't worry how long you spend. The efficiency will arrive eventually with practice. Only worry what your final result is, not how long it took to get there.

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Original post by D Shankar
I wouldn't have thought the green thing is a pillow unless you actually pointed it out. It could be a little more fluffy.

In my opinion the top center region is pillow-shaped enough (but it is full of strange bumps) and the problem lies with the sides, which seem to have a very small and constant thickness (apparently as low as the sole of the sandal).
The general effect is of a strangely thick towel, maybe with something under it; you should make rounded edges with a gentle curve showing the thickness of the pillow rather than disguising it.

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