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Gilzu

My first game story, feedback required (and most welcomed)

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Hey, i''ve started writing my first RTS game (thought itll be a good continue for platform game which came better than i expected), so anyway, i started to draw headlines for the main plot and some feedback is req. so the main idea: Remember starship troopers? well, this time we''re (mankind) the arrogent "we''ll destroy your planet bcoz we got on the wrong side of the bed". so the story starts by human invasion to the alien (good guys) planet, and as the game progresses the inferior aliens try to survive the human attack by creating some kind of a new tech. so anyway, the aliens will not be biological beings but mech beings (transformers rule!) and human kind will not see them as an insignificant interruption rather than a own thinking specie. just thought that this time the human should be the bad guys, thinking that if we''ll encounter other beings that will be inferior (noone thought about that option, huh?) that well be too arrogent and try to conquer them, as they are redundant. what do you think? Gil

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I like the idea of a different species being the main focus. I''m not too thrilled at humans being the enemy though (have some pride in your own species!). But considering out past (and present) its not exactly hard to believe that we would be the agressors.

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Guest Anonymous Poster
I think it would be better to have a reason

1. Psychological fear of the robots

2. The alien planet is rich in a rare resource

3. The humans involved are rogue pirates and the space navy comes charging in blowing bugles to save the day

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well, the idea is that humanity is so... well...
expensive on materials so they decided to drain
other planet''s resources. the fact that there
is actually residents on the planet is strictly
insignificant. the players goal is to make it as one.

thats all.

Gil

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it''s a good basic idea but needs a bit more flesh, for one what is this tech they are making? How important is it to the story if they are still beaten down by mankind? Um, are they beaten or do they win? If they win how does the tech help them? If they lost, is it because the tech fell into the hands of the enemy somehow?

Also during the game you could have humans taking many of the populace as slaves, and part of the story involves freeing slaves for a revolt. Anyways could you tell us exactly how it all ends?? That way I would have a better idea of what could go on in between But us dominating a lesser race (or any race) seems quite fitting, unfortunatly.

==============================
"Need more eeenput..."
- #5, "Short Circuit"
==============================

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GR8 idea... slavery... i wouldnt of come up with that...
10x.

what i gave you was the background,
i couldnt develop the main story
since i didnt want it to rely on a
lame back story.

but everytime i try to get to the
thick of things, it keeps reminding
me too much of other known plots.

Erebus, you know Dune?
Harkonnen enslaving the fremen rings a bell?

since its an RTS, i dont expect the
engine i write to renew something to the
player, but some original plot will be great.

so so far, i have a story that has a bit of this
and a bit from there...

ideas?

Gil

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it''s okay to build off other ideas, it makes people recognize the story and grow more comfortable with it. It''s okay as long as you are able to add some new twist that really grabs their attention after being first caught by the recognizable story element.

==============================
"Need more eeenput..."
- #5, "Short Circuit"
==============================

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Sounds like a nice idea. I can''t remember any games that would have been made from that perspective, so it''s definitely fresh (which, i think, is always a great advantage).

Human race acting like this could also been seen as a dark sci-fi, where human race has evolved to a corporate cyberpunk direction. This is when corporate interests (like mining and making money otherwise) matters more, instead of iterests of human race itself.

When creating the background and story, remember to make it support interesting gameplay above all..

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If you want a reason for the humans to attack these mech-people how about this.

The mech planet is extremely rich on metals which are rare on earth (i suppose this is why they evolved into a non-organic species). Ofcourse the greedy humans would like a share of these metals.
The humans has not yet been able to build sentient machines and human experts agree that digital sentience is impossible. Since the mechs are simply non-sentient, non-feeling entities the humans see no moral reason for not attacking.

just an idea .

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Thanks People!

mussepigg: thanx for the compliment, i try to be
original, since i diss every non original it''ll
be hard to look at the game ive created saying:
"same lame thing all over again?"

NewDeal: well, that was my idea, but you certainly
added some depth to it, 10x, ill include all of
you in the credits, if it will ever come out..


ok, back to the drawing board (now with some new ideas 10x to you)

Gil


---------------------------------
Micro$oft beta test:
"Does the splash screen works? SHIP IT!"

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Guest Anonymous Poster
You can have the humans attack because they think that the aliens are sexy. and all the aliens are hot naked girls with guns and big ass boobies. Just a suggestion.

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