First draft, please read.

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5 comments, last by NewDeal 22 years, 8 months ago
Hi guys I think i might need your help on this one. Im working on a space-sim in style with Privateer or Elite(if anybody remembers). Im at work and im bored so i figured id start designing some of the races to be represented in my game . I ended up writing what i think will be in the game though. From you guys i need 2 things. 1. Could you please read and give me come constructive critisme. 2. English is my second language so if anybody could please eliminate the worst errors i would be gratefull . Thanks in advance. From the Confederation Database (Encyclopedia section): Race history: If, by chance, the basic building blocks of life do form in the chaotic conditions of extreme temperatures, swirling gasses and fluctuating gravity of a gas giant, they usually doesnt last. On "planet name", however, the story is different. Forty billion standard years ago the first order rose from chaos in form of short-lasting self-contained energy matrices. As all aspiring life, growth and survival was the priority of these yet to be creatures and the huge amount of ions and free electrons in the giant gas sphere was a perfect feeding ground. Even though they still lacked intelligence their increasing size and complexity soon enough gave them the ability to perform basic rational deductions, and by sacrifycing little of this ability, storage for usefull knowledge. As many other races the "race name here" was fascinated by the world they now inhabited. Knowledge about themselves and their surroundings was gathered and stored. Technology for aquiring and distributing more knowledge among themselfes was developed. Means of transportation was soon developed in hope of exploring places before unreachable. Billions of years later, for unknown reasons, this gathering of knowledge stopped as suddenly as it had begun. The "race name here" settled down in the planet which was once their cradle and stayed there. The text above is a resume of what "race name here" wish to share of their history. Techological level Much is unknown about the "race name here". It is believed, however, that this race was once far more advanced that any other known species in the universe. By the end of their knowledge seeking age all technology was purposely destroyed for reasons unknown. Theories exist that the technology this race might once have had would be useless to most other races. These theories are based on the fact that the "race name here" are unable to interact with their surroundings by "normal" means. Instead they use methods of energy-manipulation which is yet to be understood by the confederation. Political situation Today, the "race name here" are unofficial "friends" of the confederation. When major desicions needs to be made they sometimes give advice but otherwise keeps to themselves. As a principal they refuse to share eny kind of technology or knowledge which makes them quite unpopular in some parties. Furthermore they seem to be "friends" with every race known to the confederation which, in case of war, equalizes the advantage of such a friendship. Trade Due to their lack of technology and refusal of knowledge-sharing the "race name here" are not very interesting when it comes to trade. They do pay handsomly though, when they see an opportunity of aquiring new knowledge (which is rare). NewDeal
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This is great. I really like the "encyclopedia" style.
But, as you probably know, it''s incomplete. I would like to know a little more about the look of these creatures and what consequences does the "lost knowledge" will have on the game.

Of course, you should find a name for this race and this planet, but you already know this...

English is also my second language so I can''t help for this...

alexk7@alexk7.com
alexk7
Ill have to find some kind of image for each race. Dont know where or how though .

About the names, im implemeting a random name generator for the planets and stars. The race name will be derived from these names as well (ie from their home planet). I hope this will give the feel of a more open ended story.

I imagine around 10 races total in the game. What im trying to do is make each race resemble a side of human nature. I know this is not very realistic but at least i can draw from personal experience and the player will be able to relate to each race. Chances are, at least, that the player has at some point encountered something similar in a human .

The "history" of the race is the version they choose to share. Who knows, they might not be telling the entire truth .

Anyways, im trying to build an potentially interesting universe. The story i havent started writing yet.
I''m confused about these guys. They were technology gods, and then they dropped to the level of primitives?

Or did they have super high technology, then revert to a level equal with humans or whatever the race the player is playing?

Why does the Confederation still consult with them?

I first got the picture that they had reverted completely. But the part about trade and the Confed consulting with them, and the amount of power they have, made me think that maybe they only experienced an anti-tech inward turn.

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Just waiting for the mothership...
--------------------Just waiting for the mothership...
Well , they *are* supposed to be mysterious. Think i might keep a little too much back though.

I imagine a race obsessed with knowledge and finding the secrets of the universe. For their reason to abandon technology i kinda came up with 2 options.

a)
They have abadoned most technology. The reason for this is that after discovering what they believed to be the ultimate science, the answers they were looking for still wasnt clear. In the belief that they had gotten as far as science would take them they began looking for answers within themselves (philosophy if you like). Philosophy, in their mind, works best without too much distraction and therefor most of their technology was destroyed. They still have ''servitors'' (as in robots/replicators/something) around which takes care of their needs (since your basic needs should be covered if you wish to eliminate distraction blah blah blah).

In this version the race will function as some form of oracle to push the story onwards.

b)
The race has decieved us. What we believe (and they want us to believe) is that this planet is their actual homeplanet. In fact this race has a huge empire in some distant galaxy and what we see is nothing but an outpost.

In this version the race gets involved in the story and are forced to help the player out with tech stuff.


In both cases:
The reason for appearing to be low-tech is to not affect the course of things too much in our part of space (kinda like the prime-directive in star-trek). They believe that if our technology is developed without interfearence from others we might just develop something unique (which they oc would like to see). This is also the reason they would like to keep us alive (curiosity).


Why do the confederation consult with them ?
Apparently they have a huge amounts of knowledge and dont hesitate to ensure the well being of more "primitive" races. Even though they dont use their knowledge the way we do they are still experienced and have valuable advice to give.

Havent deciced on the story yet. What do you think ?
First story ive ever started so please critisize if im making mistakes or if you have input.


Or you can say that the race, after millienia of development, grew contented. And looked inward for entertainment. Their economy would beentirely focused on games and media. This would destroy the Oracle idea, but would open the doors to much more trading. But being advanced and all, they only need one of something, then they can duplicate whatever they need. This would also fit in with your idea for the races being a side of human nature. In this case, Sloth.
Wow that sounds cool. I love both the philosophers idea and the outpost one. Very nice.

Also, its "they usually DONT last", not "doesnt".
(http://www.ironfroggy.com/)(http://www.ironfroggy.com/pinch)

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