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Satirical RPG (Revisited, actually)

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Hello, everyone! It''s been a while since I''ve been around here (though I was a lurker back then, as now)! It feels good to see all the people posting here still (but where''d Landfish go?)...anyway, that''s not why I''m posting. You may remember a post that I made a few months ago outlining my (our) intentions to create an RPG lampooning, well, everything, but CRPGs and their strangenesses hopefully in particular. You gave us quite a few good ideas, and I am very appreciative. The thing is, the game is almost primed to move out of design phases and into more concrete production, so I thought I''d cast the net out and troll for a few more ideas, since I know you''ve got them, just waiting up there in your cold, dark brains, ideas longing to get out, to finally escape, see daylight, and then destroy their cruel captors and eat their bones. Or maybe you have a satirical suggestion or two that you''d like to make. Here''s the basic plot so far...FoS, or Focus on Satan, is the most prominent group of Satanists in the world, and they''re holding their huge bake sale blowout in just a few weeks. However, Giggles, the Great Satanic Adept and Bake Sale Coordinator , has been kidnapped by the eeevil Princess Apricot and is captive in her castle. Oh dear. You, some nameless female nobody from Satan Springs, have been selected by FoS to find Giggles and bring him back (in time for the bake sale, though the time limit actually has *no* bearing whatsoever...FoS just contacts you and tells you they''ll postpone it, because as urgent as the situation is, you really shouldn''t be pressured into hurrying. Time has no real meaning, in a metaphysical sort of way, at least). Bully! We''ll be accepting suggestions until 8:58 GMT on Sunday, July 29, when the feature list will be locked (yeahhh.....right). But in reality, time has no meaning, so I think that deadline is probably *just* as flexible (also considering that 8:58 Greenwich is something like 2:58 AM where I am...). I really would appreciate any input. -Pat

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Perhaps there should be combat with several hundreds of goblins, and with every hit you would kill at least a dozen.Possibly add some gory animation.
Or perhaps a special attack where you pinch the enemy and he explodes, sending pieces (head, arms, flesh etc) flying into the air.Lots of blood, too.

Jonas Kyratzes - Progressive Design
Creator of Last Rose in a Desert Garden.
Now working on Horizon : Equal and Free.
"God is silent. Now if only man would shut up." - Woody Allen

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How about a reverse-vampire NPC somewhere in the game, needs to drink holy water at least once a day, can''t stand moonlight, must touch a holy symbol at all times, has no teeth, blood kills him, has garlic-breath and loves being staked in the heart.... Call him Buffy

WTF is a chocolate starfish?

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Ah, thanks for the link to the old thread! How about I list some of the things we''ve implemented...and some that I''m reconsidering now that see the thread again:
-The villain is a princess.
-The PC is a female dressed in a smart business suit, but every store in the game world carries only chainmail bikinis and the like. She refuses to wear them.
-The monsters are ridiculous (unfortunately, I''ve lost the list of most of them, but we''ve got things like Red Rubber Balls and crazy old men...there are better ones, I assure you!).
-We did the thing where a fireball involves summoning a bowl of magic beans, eating them, bending over, and lighting up.
-You can go on a homicidal rampage in a town. 15 armored city guards will teleport in and just kinda, well, look at the destruction. They then congratulate you and teleport out.
-One of the weapons is a Howitzer you keep hidden in your backpack.
-You attack with a sword by hitting your target with the handle.
-While casting a spell, character sings It''s A Small World After All.
-Level ups are accompanied my a massive halo of light that appears briefly around the character.

Some of your suggestions I think I''ll have to add:
-NPCs making reference to levels and hit points in dislogue.
-Exploding into coins
-Reverse vampire
-NPCs standing in one place (makes the AI programming a hell of a lot easier!)

Also, when you start the game, all the characters speak an invented language which bears no relationship to English. The PC is, naturally, distressed by this, and will eventually scream "Don''t any of you speak English like normal people?!". The director of FoS then says, "Oh, yes, the missionaries taught us English before we roasted them on a spit over an open fire."

Thanks again for all the ideas. This would be a crappy satire without you guys (it may still be a crappy satire, but, we''ll just see)!

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Perhaps there should be combat with several hundreds of goblins, and with every hit you would kill at least a dozen.Possibly add some gory animation.

Yeah ! Except sometimes the dead goblins seem to move a bit. Sometimes you can find potions of red paint while searching their the bodies. And sometimes, when you head towards some goblins and are just about to hack them, they fall to the ground crying in pain and full of blood without you hitting them.

Also, if you sneak up on goblins, you can catch them smoking, eating chewing gum and bitching about their shit job, side by side with the local paladin. If they see you, they hide their cigarettes, change their voice to goblinish / paladinish and imediately start to fight ("for honor and glory" shouts the paladin).

I can see the player searching a dead goblins body and the goblin bursting in loughter : "HEY, that tickles !!"

Edited by - Diodor on July 29, 2001 7:09:58 PM

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there is always the recurring NPC that NEVER dies, altho this is always in an RPG...except you just take the piss. NPC gets fragged ina nuclear war. etc, can''t be botherd to think of m,ore silly examples its too l8 here

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Snooty goblins that live in a highly secret but advanced society. They complain about being murdered by the evil and barbarian humans all the time..

Monsters that drop thousands of dollars in gold coins but the economy is based on a barter system where gold is useless (you don''t find this out until after accumulating millions of dollars).

A quest where you have to deliver a package to someone then when you do it turns out the person you''re giving it to doesn''t like it and you LOSE experience. Other such events where you lose experience would be funny too.

Maybe if you have NPC companions one of them could run away in a dangerous situation and you see "So-and-so saves his game"

Just off the top of my head... =)

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Guest Anonymous Poster
Why not have the punishment for losing be that you end up working for a failing dot-com company and your pay is mostly in the form of stock options?

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I''ve designed a game like this before... but it never got off the ground. I could probably provide you with the working ( albeit shoddy ) beginnings of a VB engine for it..The NPCs can move around in it, too ;-)

Anyhow, here are some of the ideas I had for it:

The cute animal character factory
Nearly every successful console RPG has a cute animal character SOMEWHERE. This is where they are processed.

The party
There was the 1 normal guy, a guy with a (literally) unpronouncable name, a guy that bounces around in a straight jacket and mutters nonsense, the obligatory cute animal character, and the big-breasted valley-girl with a sword.

Mount BOB
the Brotherhood of BOB ( a recursive acronym). Basically, this is an organization run by a small racoon that wants to dominate the world.

A spoof of Canada, complete with annoying singers like Shania Twain and Alanis Morisette ( names redone of course ).
-= No offense meant to all you respectable Canadians =-

There was some other stuff... I just pointed out what I was most proud of.


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