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Christopher Loyd

Comments on Overview of Storyline Needed

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This is a story that I put together last night just out of sheer enjoyment and would greatly appreciate any feedback, whether it be constructive or otherwise. Thanks.


Overview:

Epoch: The Awakening is an MMORPG set in a post-apocalyptic Earth, the year being 2137. After a global split between The Church and the United Nations(which had become a one-world power known as the Global Allies), both launched a massive war against one another. The "Third War" only lasted 73 days but became the most devastating, horrific global disaster in history.

Between nuclear weapons and bio warfare nearly 90% of the population became casualties of power and greed in one swift motion. The rest of the 10% or so of the world's population went into hiding for a number of years, the surface of the Earth being scarred with nuclear waste and biochemicals had made it nearly unlivable in most areas.

Nearly 30 years later, the condemned population of Earth began to rise from the shadows and assess the damage that they had caused. What they found could only be described in fairy tales...

The species that still lived had evolved and adapted to the new nuclear climate forming genetic changes in their DNA. It seemed as though the evolutionary track of the world had reversed itself to that of the second Paleolithic Era.

Our species has many challenges ahead both politically and environmentally...it's time for the fate of the humans to be decided once more...The Awakening has begun.


Backstory:

Global Allies

The UN was founded in 1945 after World War II as an international organization whose stated aims were facilitating cooperation in international law, international security, economic development, social progress, human rights, and an achievement of world peace.

By 2020 all that was stripped away. With the continuing increase in poverty and unemployment plaguing almost every nation on Earth and the continued fighting between religious activists and rioting populace due to corrupt governments, the UN looked to take a stand and solidify a one-world government in an attempt to oppress these groups more effectively and ultimately gain peace worldwide.

On January 21st, 2021 the request by the UN was sent out to 187 of their member states to hold an emergency conference over the future direction of the people on a global scale. Their idea of global peace and international law was to pass a treaty that would enact a one-world government, in which every citizen of the 187 member states were represented as equal and would gain world-wide benefits and coverages by the newly established government. It also enacted that large numbers of radical, political detesters and religious fanatics would be exterminated in an attempt to eradicate any forms of disobedience and resistance to this new treaty.

By January 23rd the treaty was unanimously voted upon by all but 3 member states of the 187 that attended the conference. The “Treaty of Global Allies” had been passed, and over the next few years the Global Allies worked in accordance with it's member states to train and refortify it's military together, introduce new economic and trading laws, prepare their populations for a mass movement into a one global society, and exiled all forms of religious and activist cults but only the most subservient.


The Church

Throughout history, and even predating written languages itself, religion has always been a foundation for like-minded, hopeful people to join together in faithful practice in times of despair and turmoil. Nothing was more true then after the events that happened in early 2021.

After the “Treaty of Global Allies” was signed(still unknown to all but the highest government leaders across nations) the top leaders of the Global Allies issued a special banquet for all dominant religious heirarchy around the world. This banquet was intended to be an ultimatum set up by the Global Allies to the religious community to end all forms of theistic celebration around the globe...non-acceptance would mean certain death.

Religious leaders were given no such knowledge of the true intent of this banquet, and instead were told that it was a joining together between church and state to discuss the ongoing problems within the world today. As religious leaders from all forms of theistic belief poured into the banquet, they were immediately met with hostility. Any that did not surrender to the Global Allies were assassinated, and the very few that did give in were shackled and left to rot in a cell.

This event sparked a mass outrage in the religious community. With nearly all prominent leaders of their perspective religions assassinated, the religious world had no one to turn to for leadership or to institute a state of defense against the Global Allies...all they could do was voice their opinions and revolt.

These actions were well met by Global Allies militia, any that did revolt were used in public executions and the unvoiced believers were hunted down day-after-day. These crusades went on for nearly 8 months, until the Catholic Church once again called upon the Knights Templar to deliver them from the world's oppression.

Over these months, the Vatican had become an iron fortress and began sheltering not only their own faith but the likes of any religious believers. After the assassination of Pope X, Pope Y had been elected by the few church cardinals that had kept themselves alive. With this new religious figure in power, and with the help of the Templars, a defense was being made by both the religious believers and other associated groups such as the Free Masons to push back the huge military voice of the Global Allies.

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Please be aware I really haven't fleshed out this story, it's just in it's infancy and was written in about an hour. Some touch up's need to be made but am really wanting a general critique on the overall story itself :)

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Sounds okay for a simple action game. Kind of a satire of world and religious politics.

But for something intended to be deep, everything is presented in the most shallow and simplified way.

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Quote:
Original post by MSW
Sounds okay for a simple action game. Kind of a satire of world and religious politics.

But for something intended to be deep, everything is presented in the most shallow and simplified way.


My ultimate goal is like it says, a post-apocalyptic world. As the human race comes out of the shadows to assess their planet that they've literally destroyed...they find a totally different environment. Like something out of H.G. Wells' Time Machine. This environmental change, along with two competing factions...and a soon implemented third faction that wants to separate both church and state altogether will be fighting for technological advancements to stimulate the growth of their faction, and face the troubles on the planet that have now surfaced due to the evolutionary spark caused by all the radiation.

The 3rd faction is inspired by Jacque Fresco's The Venus Project work. A main focus in the game will be discovering new technologies and "crafting" those new technologies to further help battle and defense in the game.

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I find the premise really far fetched. I think it would be better to start with something like a science experiment gone wrong, causing two different timelines to crash into each other. Maybe lots of timelines, so you can use that as an excuse to introduce any group of people or life form that ever has, or ever will exist.

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