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capn_midnight

Quit my job today

43 posts in this topic

Good move.
May I ask how old are you?
Is there any profession you'd like to/be able to learn? Dunno, carpentry, forestry. I think this moment will come in my life too, and I'm actually thinking about these. Or anything that's closer to the nature.
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Well take a week and then start a project. I've been full-time programming for a year and I had to take a couple breaks before I could now fully invest my spare time into a planned out project.
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Fair enough, you're sick of programming. But do you actually have anything you [b]do [/b]want to do?

Programming might suck for you for the reasons you mentioned, but what makes you think that any other job is going to be any better?

My point is that you will still need to pay bills, etc. If you're willing to reduce your standard of living (i.e. take a pay cut) why not just work part time as a programmer and then at least you'll have more free tie to do the things you're actually interested in.

Good luck in whatever it is you decide to do either way! :)
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I actually have a fair bit of experience with event coordinating through my volunteer work. I have a lot of contacts in the academic fund raising world, so as a last resort I can always hit them up (would probably require moving to Portland, OR). I really want to use this time to put together loan proposals for a couple of business plans that I've had on the back burner for the last three years. One particular one I could get a lot of my friends involved in in very productive capacities running a commercial beer brewery. I've got a couple of avenues for small income streams through graphic design, photography, and other fine arts, so I'm going to start spazzing out on Etsy or one of those sites like that. If I could bandy together a cool 1/4 mil, a friend of mine wants to sell me his bar.

As for what I *want* to do, there is no one thing. That's kind of the problem. I spend a lot of time needling down on one thing until I figure out how it works and then I abandon it. I've got to figure out a way to leverage that, and I think serial entrepreneur (start a company, sell it 5 years later, repeat) might be the way.
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Good luck.

I hope you figure out what it is you are looking for from life. A few years back I posted a similar story about [url="http://www.gamedev.net/topic/460456-following-your-passions-why-a-co-worker-just-left-games/"]a coworker who left games programming to return to school for music education major and creative writing minor[/url]. It's good that you can recognize when you aren't following your passions. Life is so much more satisfying when you know you are doing what you are passionate about.
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[quote name='capn_midnight' timestamp='1297807399' post='4774675']
As for what I *want* to do, there is no one thing. That's kind of the problem. I spend a lot of time needling down on one thing until I figure out how it works and then I abandon it. I've got to figure out a way to leverage that, and I think serial entrepreneur (start a company, sell it 5 years later, repeat) might be the way.
[/quote]Have you read the book "What Color Is Your Parachute?" The appendix of the book has some soul-searching projects to help you identify your passions and also what you are skilled and experienced with.

A person's passions, skills, and experience are often out of harmony. If you can find a way to do the things you love and also what you are good at, it is a very nice place to be.


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I tried quite many things too. I got totally into something, maybe for years, then simply got bored of it. I guess programming is one of those, just like music or modelling and maybe engineering will be the same. Unfortunately, it's not so easy just to "try things out", I can only get into things if I'm totally into them anyway...
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[quote name='JDX_John' timestamp='1297808271' post='4774682']
Only 3 months? EEk.

Good luck though, brave move.
[/quote]

Well, my lease runs out at the end of April anyway. I've got a lot of friends that had been trying to convince me to quit and offered a room for me to stay for several months now. When my mother and father finally said the same thing, I figured it was time.
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[quote name='frob' timestamp='1297807799' post='4774678']
[quote name='capn_midnight' timestamp='1297807399' post='4774675']
As for what I *want* to do, there is no one thing. That's kind of the problem. I spend a lot of time needling down on one thing until I figure out how it works and then I abandon it. I've got to figure out a way to leverage that, and I think serial entrepreneur (start a company, sell it 5 years later, repeat) might be the way.
[/quote]Have you read the book "What Color Is Your Parachute?" The appendix of the book has some soul-searching projects to help you identify your passions and also what you are skilled and experienced with.

A person's passions, skills, and experience are often out of harmony. If you can find a way to do the things you love and also what you are good at, it is a very nice place to be.
[/quote]

I'll check it out. A big inspiration for me was Sir Ken Robinson's "The Element". It was basically the first confirmation from an outside source that it was okay to have every atom of your being screaming out that your job was wrong for you, as long as you listened to it and left. I grew up in the example of my father, who has spent nearly 30 years in the same job, almost 25 of them at the same company. That's not how it *has* to be, and I was even surprised when my father told me he didn't expect it out of me either.


One of the most inspiring figures in my life is Richard Feynman. If you haven't read his autobiography "Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman", it's a fast read that is very entertaining. He had the same issue with getting bored with things, he was just apparently much better about parleying that into new opportunities. That, and he was never a "nerd".
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Have you looked into Wall Street jobs? Wall Street has been known to be a haven for those ailing souls who've found their dream careers to be downright unsatisfying, and there are a number of firms who are interested in exceptionally smart people even if they don't have financial experience. Example: [url="http://www.deshaw.com/"]the DE Shaw group[/url]. Granted, it's mostly physicists and mathematicians who switch over to Wall Street for such reasons, not programmers, but that probably doesn't matter too much. In academia, this goes under the term "selling out," an oppressive name designed to amplify the insular nature of academic work and which is just as telling of the dangers of academia as it is of the excesses of finance, but sometimes (in fact, more often than not) "selling out" is simply better for everyone. Competition for the good jobs on Wall Street is extremely fierce, but it's something to have an eye on at least if that sort of thing interests you at all. Another benefit: provided you can get the right sort of job, which would involve a lot of luck, you could potentially make enough money in a relatively short timespan (say 5-10 years) to be able to experiment with more ambitious businesses yourself. Etc.

Just some ideas. But in any case I applaud your courage to do what must be done, and I wish you the greatest of luck! There is no shame in what you have done. If anything you should be proud; most people would probably choose to continue suffering rather than take the risks you're now facing.
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Been there. There are indeed other things worth doing, or at least "different". You can always go back if you happened to need money.

Have Fun!
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So you're a programmer... you didn't say which kind. I would assume you have tried game development since you are here on gamedev.net, but I don't take into assumptions to often. If you haven't tried actual game programming as a career you should look into it and since you are taking a role of might have to move to Portland, why not make the move to Seattle 3 hours north and apply at some of the many game companies up there? With experience you probably wouldn't have a problem getting a pretty decent position and you might like it. If I am wrong and you have been doing game development as your career, well good luck in your career shift.
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Good luck! :) I know how u feel. Ultimately being stuck in a career is pointless if you hate what your doing. Follow your instincts..

-ddn
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2 things:

[quote]running a commercial beer brewery[/quote]
Do you leave in OR (you mentioned portland)? Good luck competing with all the other breweries there....

[quote]
I've got my rent covered for the next 3 months.
[/quote]
Thats it? I would think you would be saving more money if your thinking of business ideas (or in general). Why not try to find someone to take over your lease anyway?

I don't know what your actual involvement with games is, but you could try to get level design jobs. I remember meeting a guy from Bungie one day that had no experience and said he was a customer service phone representative for a long time. He got hired on no experience with games at all as a mission designer.
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I'm in kind of the same boat, only on the other side of the white/blue collar divide. I've been doing construction work (concrete, remodeling, plumbing, yada yada) for sixteen years and I'm broken-down, tired, and ready to make a go at being an [url="http://www.gamedev.net/blog/33/entry-2249465-pyrotech/"]indie[/url] instead. Kudos to you for having the guts to get out of something you hate. I know a lot of people who put up with the crap, day in and day out, too bound by their fears to take a risk at being happy. I've been one of those for a long time myself.
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"Hi peter, what's happening... We need to talk about your TPS reports."

There's a good chance you know the quote, but if you don't, look up Office Space for a cheer up.
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[quote name='capn_midnight' timestamp='1297803554' post='4774640']
For the last two years, I've basically been in an ever increasing spiral of depression over the fact that I hated my job and had grown to hate the menial work of programming that pretty much consists of 80% of all work. I jumped around on projects and new jobs trying to deny it, to find some kind of secret sauce that would fix it all ("Maybe I just need a different environment, maybe I need to get away from this shitty code base."), and it only served to make me want to wall myself in my room and never come out again.

So I quit. I'm going to quit programming for a living. I haven't had any fun programming in the last 3 years because I've been too caught up with programming for work that when I get home I'm spent. I might end up flipping burgers, or I might end up a freelance photographer, or something. I don't really know right now. But I'll be damned if I write another God damned bug ticket or estimate another iteration or deal with another pedantic asshat who won't shut up about the differences between classes and objects, even though I know what they are and just misspoke that one time, "would you please shut up, I'm trying to actually get to a point here".

I've got my rent covered for the next 3 months, I've got a friend willing to put me up after that, of the stuff I have I can probably sell a lot of it because I don't actually use it that much, and there are plenty of ways to make some spare cash on the side. We'll see what happens.
[/quote]


You sir have done what I don't have the balls to do.

Except I'd kill to have a job programming, and not a job working in retail, which I have now... :huh:
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[quote name='wicked357' timestamp='1297815667' post='4774728']
... since you are taking a role of might have to move to Portland, why not make the move to Seattle 3 hours north ...
[/quote]
Because it's an ugly old stinktown, that's why! :P Yay Portland!
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You are inspiration to us gutless. (7 years accounting (I am keep telling myself it is because of my kids));//
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Good luck man, on whatever you wish to do.
From reading your first post I got the impression that maybe your depression was rather caused by a dull/inhumane/competitive work environment than by programing itself.
To me it sounds like you are more the entrepreneur type that simply suffers in a "drone" job.
I don't know what your responsibilities are (wife/kids?) but maybe you'll get back to programing when you get your head clean in a few years and can start something yourself?

Anyways, kudos for making the move. It takes a lot of balls to realize you just have to quit.

Cheers
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