Oh cool, I have attracted the attention of a moderator, this should be interesting
N.B. we usually have a policy of not moderating threads that we've participated in, so I'm just another poster ;P
However, I did just delete the useless trolling comments between yourself and Lenny, I trust they won't reappear.
I see the formal titles have caught your eye, even if for the wrong reasons.[/quote]Indeed, and today I noticed the part in the description of your company promoting cannabis. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for the decriminalisation of that plant and it's use for cultural purposes, however it is controversial in your country and irrelevant to your current business pitch... So, when Joe Public reads this, he's picturing "Captain and Commander pot-head on their pacific island, dreaming about having an e-studio". Hopefully that's an unfair stereotype, but you could avoid setting yourself up for this condescension by presenting a more professional front.
Thanks for that, I really don't want to start any trouble. I have to admit, I am concerned about how people might picture me after learning that I support cannabis but I don't think it bothers me enough to want to hide it either. You are most certainly correct about the unfair (yet partially true, I am not a pot-head) stereotype though and you make a good point about its relevance to the project. I know it won't hurt to remove it, but its part of another campaign that I am running to build brand awareness while generating some funds. Allow me to apologize in advance for posting that link if it is inappropriate. I think it is relevant although only indirectly related to game development, being part of our organic sales drive and marketing campaign. It is a tried and true method, but can be quite risky and I hope to capitalize on the advanced techniques I will be using. I would appreciate your thoughts on using this type of marketing tactic, unless of course this is not the right place to discuss this aspect of the project. In the end, good business sense will prevail and anything that doesn't contribute to the success of the project will be removed.
It sounds like you have big ideas, and that the game is more well thought out than what we see on the kickstarter page. The problem is that even now it is a lot of text, especially when not accompanied by any images or videos. What I see is a pretty standard RPG with a plot that does not appeal to me.
You already said you are going to add a video, otherwise that would be my tip. Regarding access to the developer blog for $1, I think you should be happy if you can get people to read your blog for free.
I appreciate the review and I agree that a video will go a long way to building some confidence in the project. The plot is pretty standard fare, the innovation comes from the game play mechanics and I hope to use the "wow" factor to hook the otherwise uninterested. The developers blog is one of the legs of our viral marketing and sales campaign. The idea is that supporters get inside access to the blog, whereas the public at large only have outsider access to the main site.
If I can't begin to picture what the experience of playing the game might actually be like, then I can't really get excited about it. The KickStarter post is heavy on story, but t[/font][font=arial, helvetica, sans-serif]
here is a lot of vague language concerning gameplay.[/font][font=arial, helvetica, sans-serif]
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How, specifically, does the player interact with the world? How does the player explore? What kind of tasks do they complete, and with what abilities?[/font]
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A few examples[/font][font=arial, helvetica, sans-serif]
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"The dreaming mechanics of The Dragon King provides a second realm to explore" - What are the dreaming mechanics?
"The core game play will consist of exploring and interacting with the physical realm" - It's hard to construct a description more vague then "interacting with the physical realm". This conveys little or no information to the reader about what the game will actually involve
"...solve puzzles and complete tasks using the elements and talents gained from each scripture" - can you give any specific examples of the talents and abilities the player will use?
"Combat mechanics will consist of 6 fighting styles" - you list a broad archetype (e.g. stealth/agility/offence) and weapon type for each element, but these are fairly standard fare. Just skimming over these gives the reader no reason to think that your game brings anything new to the table - are there any interesting combat abilities you could talk about?
"The sea exploration mechanic provides the primary method of travel and commerce" - you name a mechanic without describing what it involves. This happens in a few places
"The dream realm can only be manipulated through the use of elements"
I know that your post is just a summary, but I think that by being broad in an attempt to convey your vision without going into any depth you don't offer much to attract a potential investor (unless some thematic aspect happens to resonate with them). Why don't you tell the story of typical challenges the player might encounter, and ways they can use their abilities to overcome them - this allows a reader to imagine playing the game at some point in the future and maybe even become excited enough about it to invest.
Aloha WavyVirus. I appreciate the review and I understand the abbreviated GDD leaves a lot to the imagination. I have been getting mixed reviews about the text heavy nature of the pitch to begin with and I don't think adding more text will solve that. The obvious answer is to get a video up showing a few of the fundamental mechanics of the game, but that would require more funding. I suppose I could remove some the the less relevant information and provide some basic info about the game mechanics. Take a look at the following explanation of the combat mechanics and let me know what you think.
The Dragon King is being developed for use with the Sixense® motion controller. This in combination with a simple voice command protocol creates our control scheme. Players will use the dual thumb sticks for movement and the motion controls for interacting with objects in the physical world (i.e. picking things up, opening doors, etc) and combat (blocking and attacking). The combat mechanics are what really set the game apart from the average RPG. A traditional RPG might use a hit points health system, whereas we use a vital points life system. The vital points life system uses a real world approach to combat, meaning successful attacks affect the player the way they would in real life. Each vital point has direct consequences on the players abilities, varying from disabling body parts to instant death. Players must learn to fight properly or they will be killed. In a traditional RPG, death usually means game over. Our death mechanic changes that by sending you to purgatory where you will have to fight your way out and continue with your mission. The fighting styles all have unique advantages based on the talent they represent and the more you use that particular style, the stronger your talents become. As an example, your experience and training with the sword fighting style opens up more aggressive fighting techniques and increases your offensive prowess. The same goes for each of the other fighting styles and their accompanying talent.
It absolutely is a Catch-22. That's the thing. Given an unproven team with no past titles to their name, the financial risk to investors (and yes, donors are investors, though they expect other rewards than the purely financial in return for their investment) is just too high for most to be willing to take the bet. Your choices are limited. It's a tough fact to come to terms with for some, who see it as some unsurmountable bar to the fulfillment of their hopes and dreams. We see it here on the forums seemingly on a weekly basis: starry-eyed idea types who could make a ton of dough with their innovative idea, if only they could find some way of drumming up some starting capital. They put up some posts (there have been plenty of GDDs posted here; the Game Design forum is a veritable boneyard of them. Go see for yourself.) and ask for feedback, but they never get past the rub: without something concrete, something written in code and functional and playable, the GDD is worth less than the paper it is written upon. (Figuratively speaking).
You've heard the old adage "Ideas are a dime a dozen"? It gets repeated around here a lot. A lot. It's true, though. You could have the most potential-laden idea ever, for the greatest best-selling hit since Doom hit the shareware circuits, but without practical execution on that idea, almost nobody will value it as you do. Certainly, nobody who will actually pony up real, green dollars to see it happen. There needs to be something more, something concrete and visible to make the potential investor say "hey, that is neat. I want to see that get finished."
A block of text doesn't leave a lot to the imagination. It leaves almost nothing, because very few people will give it more than a casual perusal. Certainly, few will bother expending the emotional energy, however minor, of imagining to fill in the holes to the depth that you do yourself. The realization of your vision is ultimately in your hands. It's your responsibility, and reacting with anger or frustration when people point out the Catch-22 will solve nothing. It won't further your game being made. Neither will putting up another Kickstarter project to languish for months in the land of $15 dollars pledged (maybe more, depending on how generous your immediate family and friends are) for months and months until the deadline comes and goes. Blocks of text don't accumulate pledges. (And certainly not $500,000 worth of pledges; I highly recommend that, as a first-timer, you set your sights lower. Lower. Lower still. $500,000 for an untested team is just... that's pie in the sky, friend.)
So you can get mad, or argumentative, or frustrated. Or you can take some steps on your own. You can do some heavy duty legwork and networking to try to bring to the table potential investors (real investors this time; VC types, or somewhat wealthy family and friends who are willing to take a risk because they know you personally and trust you, etc...) along with a team with the correct technical skills to get the job done. It'll probably be a balancing act like you wouldn't believe; just as investors won't pony up cash on wordy and insubstantial GDDs, neither will technical types pony up code or assets without promise of payment. You'll need to vet your technical team to ensure that you have the skills available to finish, as well as the experience to complete the job. I honestly don't know all of what would be involved in this sort of process, because it is so far outside anything I've ever attempted, or ever would attempt.
Alternatively, you could take the initiative and start filling some of those technical holes yourself. Find people in your social network that have the skills you need and would be willing to volunteer their time and energy (and volunteer it would be, until the sales start rolling). Reach out to folks on this forum or others (we have a Classifieds section here) to recruit. Without cash, what you'll get will be volunteers who are not emotionally invested in the project, who likely don't have the experience you need (as they are doing it to learn) and will 99% of the time bail on the project after a few weeks if not days, their emails and IMs becoming more and more infrequent, their excuses coming more and more handily. You'll have to spend a lot of time weeding out, cajoling, wheedling and persevering, and your likelihood of success would still be statistically nil.
It's a hard world.
Final suggestion, this is a forum rife with coders of all stripes and experience. Read the back posts, read the resources, pick up a language and learn it. Get something together, something that can show the world rather than tell the world what your game is really about. It will take time, I'm afraid. But you have to decide for yourself if it's worth it.
Wow!, another [color=#ff0000]moderator! This is cool . Thank you for the sage advice and the good will, I really appreciate it. I do have to disagree with some of what you are saying however, as it sounds like you are speaking in contradictions. Your definitive response leaves no room for possibility and as a quantum physicist I know that just isn't the case. You also say that the probability of being successfully funded as it is would be statistically nil and I agree. But to say that it certainly is nil and there is no chance for it at all is incorrect. You do make several good points about properly managing my network and assets. I certainly agree that having a plan and a team capable of executing that plan is fundamental to the projects success in any arena. The status quo of the industry is indeed cold and hard, which is a major part of why NeoGenesis was formed. We believe the industry is longing for change and that in order for the industry to evolve and reach its maximum potential the status quo must be redefined. It will be a long and arduous road, much longer than any of us probably realizes. In the end my resolve will be the only deciding factor for seeing us through to the end and I hope to see you all there.
Are you actually a quantum physicist? Where did you study? I'm studying astronomy, and engineering.
On topic:
I think there's only one project I've seen reach it's goal and go beyond it's goal on Kickstarter. That project was Wasteland 2 whom the original creators who have an impressive history in the gaming industry are backing. People trust their words based on their notable history, and success in the past. Most Kickstarter projects don't have anything in the way of evidence to prove their project's existence, and that it won't fail. It's like a completely new website for all the indie internet teams to go and reside and secure funding when they don't have anything to show.
I've never been one to simply toss a persons eagerness out the window. I do however know that in many cases like yours, you need something presentable. The image you have of a dragon is the first step. All your content must be original in some way. I hate using other people's stuff to make my own projects. You should definitely have a multitude of presentable content to demonstrate that this isn't simply something you came up with last weekend. Even if it is, having content to show others prior to starting a Kickstarter project might be essential for you.
Almost every time I've seen a successful indie project they've always included images, and video of their development. Models, textures, gameplay videos (alpha 0.001 builds), music. They also have a presentable self image. Things are organized and neat. Prior to Kickstarter this was all I ever saw, and those who didn't follow this guideline often either failed or would start a new project all together.
This is in no way a reference to Gamedev.net's old help wanted forum's guideline rules. However that included basic requirements detailing the projects and people who provided evidence of their development, people who had little to no money, often were the ones who had the most positive feedback. You don't need to make money to make a playable or presentable model of your game, or even data such as models, textures, or animations. However All these things can help substantiate your claims, and ideas even further. You don't even need a playable model of your game.
It get's people interested in what you're working on. You don't even need a Kickstarter at the moment. That is solely my opinion though.
Aloha Aerin. If you are asking if I have a degree in quantum physics, the answer is no. I am self taught. I appreciate the review and I do agree with the need for something presentable in lieu of industry experience. I am currently working on a tech demo and I should have it posted by tomorrow night. I managed to find Kickstarter in my search for the current license holder for the Shadowrun series and was surprised to see how well they did with their project. Of course they are well known developers and Shadowrun Returns has been a long time coming. I am glad you understand the original point of my post and I completely agree, I don't need Kickstarter but the format is a great way to share the project.
. Thank you for the sage advice and the good will, I really appreciate it. I do have to disagree with some of what you are saying however, as it sounds like you are speaking in contradictions. Your definitive response leaves no room for possibility and as a quantum physicist I know that just isn't the case. You also say that the probability of being successfully funded as it is would be statistically nil and I agree. But to say that it certainly is nil and there is no chance for it at all is incorrect. You do make several good points about properly managing my network and assets. I certainly agree that having a plan and a team capable of executing that plan is fundamental to the projects success in any arena. The status quo of the industry is indeed cold and hard, which is a major part of why NeoGenesis was formed. We believe the industry is longing for change and that in order for the industry to evolve and reach its maximum potential the status quo must be redefined. It will be a long and arduous road, much longer than any of us probably realizes. In the end my resolve will be the only deciding factor for seeing us through to the end and I hope to see you all there.
