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Proofreading and other editing?

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I dunno if any of you have noticed the Guide To Designing A Pet Game I've been posting in my developer journal. I've been posting a part each day, starting with part 0, and I'm currently up to 4. I would like any kind of editing suggestions on it if you all have any to contribute. So far the only responses I've really gotten to it are "This is useful, post more", "This is long-winded, be less wordy", and "Pictures would help." Those give me a place to start, though I'm not going to tackle images until I'm done writing all the text. But some more specific responses and suggestions would be really helpful. Responding either in the comments of an entry or here is fine. smile.png

If you'd like to take a look, the entries are here: http://www.gamedev.n...nd-its-content/ Scroll down until you find number 0 to start. Or number 2 is the one about game stories if you are only interested in that one. But it's intended for beginners so it's not ground-breaking theory or anything. Edited by sunandshadow

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