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Noddy92

Need help with a story

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Hi everyone,

So I'm developing a TPS set in the present day, in which you play a criminal. I know what will my game look like, but I have trouble creating a good story. My first concept was:

"After a heist you have been betrayed and left to die. With last bits of strenght, you manage to call your girlfriend, who helps you and takes you to the doctor. After spending several months recovering, you begin searching for person who betrayed tou, and your money."

I have a problem developing a story after this point, because I don't want to create a cliche, or just another stupid crime plot.

So I need your help and advice to make this a good story,

Thanks in advance,
Noddy92 Edited by Noddy92

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OK, thanks for the advice. In the begining I though, to make a story that would just be the excuse plot to start shooting, but after reading this, I really got some ideas.

And I thought story to be about the money to pay of debts, like in the Payback. Edited by Noddy92

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I have to agree that those two ideas in themselves are cliche and already on the edge of loosing my interest (because I've seen that so many times in movies, games, rap music and real life).  If you are really determined to go with the idea of being a criminal who needs to get dirty to pay off some debts you will need something ground breaking to make the story interesting in the least.  Sorry to sound so harsh but in my opinion it's truth that needs to be carefully considered towards the overall story design.

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Your're not sounding harsh, any advice is welcome. I'm still working on that ground breaking thing in the story.

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*raises hand* I have an idea!

What if, your character is the traitor who screwed over the rest of the heist gang, and has to spend the duration of the game evading revenge plots from the other members of the heist?

That could be a slightly more original take on the genre, i mean shows like Breaking Bad and Dexter prove people enjoy following the 'bad guy'.

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Hm... that's actually not a bad idea, considering how many games have player do good things through the game. Edited by Noddy92

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OK, so I've been thinking a lot about a story, so starting from scratch, how about this:

 

You play a criminal who ownes a lot of money to the boss of the family, so you and your friend come up with a plan to hot a payroll van.

The job goes smoothly, but as just as you are about to take the money, your friends tells you that he has been hired by the boss to kill you and take the money. He then shoots you, take the money and leaves you to die.

 

I just came up with the beginning, and I need your criticism to improve it. I know I never wrote a crime story, so any help will be appreciated.

 

Thanks in advance, 

 

Noddy92

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 I like Got_rythems Idea about you being the traiter.

Could it have dynamic trust system ?
Where you have teams of criminals on your side and teams that are out to get you. But depending on the players dialog choices and their actions with those different teams he can influence the size of his army and even turn teams against each other. You could create a really nice back stroy with intergang wars using a family tree and timeline.

That could make for a dynamic story and interesting player choice based on greed and moral delemma.

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What you have here, is called a premise. It's not a plot, or a story yet, just the beginning of one.

The way I get it - you just want to have a background story, so you can have a reason to start shooting baddies.

 

Well, that's nice and all, but your story will need some kind of progression between levels.

 

How about his:

 

You play a small-time crook who decides to rob a mob-boss to get ahead in life. You get your best friend to help you with the job, since he's already employed as a driver for that mob-boss. At the end of the heist, he betrays you and shoots you, to gain favor with the boss. You drop into a coma.

 

Years pass. You wake up from your coma, bent on revenge. Your loving girlfriend, who has taken care of you all this time had also took the time to gather all the information you need in order to get to the boss.

 

In turns out, that during your coma, your best "friend" is not the boss'es right hand man. But in order to get to any of them, you'll have to find them, and the road to them goes through their henchmen, and loyalies.

 

So you start your journey. You get a gun (or whatever) and goes after the low-level crooks in the mob. As you finish off each of them, they reveal a detail that gets you to your next target, or closer to your real target - the boss, or your friend.

 

From this point, there's a lot you can do. For example, you could reveal during the final showdown with your "friend" that there was no way out of this, and he shot you and put you in a coma cos that was the only way to save your life (otherwise, you'll both be dead). You can have the girlfriend kidnapped by the mob, when they start getting angry and fearful. There are many options. Let your imagination fly.

 

Start writing down the story. It may take a while, but it's the basis for your entire game.

 

Oh, and one last thing: the fact that a story is a cliche doesn't make it bad. Many great games/movies have been based on cliched stories. It's not the premise that counts, but the execution, so don't be discourages if you don't have the MOST original idea.

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