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BravadoWaffler

Requesting Brutal Constructive Criticism

4 posts in this topic

Hi Folks,

everyone here has always given me extremely valuable feedback. I come from a chiptune/electronic background, so the further I foray into orchestral territory, the less sure I am of things. This is a song I made for an upcoming RPG, although my client is super happy with it, I'm wondering if there is something I can do to make it better as far as mixing/composition and other elements go.

 

The criteria for the song was:

-Should have a bit of post-apocolyptic feel but hopeful

-Should have a bit of that 'firefly' western sound

-Should be reminiscent of Final Fantasy 

-Should give the impression that you're flying (the main character flies)

-Should showcase the guitar parts

 

Particular to this track's area: It's flying around a oppressive governments land, you can go there, but theres lot of laws and its a bit bleak and dystopian.

 

The guitars were recorded live (already had some great help mixing those from all you guys) and the other instruments are EWQL Hollywood Strings Gold and Symphonic Orchestra Silver. 

 

Let me have it! I realize the only way I'm going to get better is to have my work critiqued ohmy.png

Edited by BravadoWaffler
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For the first 10 seconds I thought hey this is kind of like travel music, easy listening. When it led into guitar it seemed moodier, maybe this is how it was intended. The harsh picking around 50 seconds seemed too sad like "it's all over," sad impression, the lead-in was mixed up so I also ended up thinking it was unintentional.

 

To me the track had 2 or 3 different tonal messages and the pitch of instruments shifts dramatically between them.  You may want to try listening for what I mentioned and decide if you agree. Personally I'd save them all and try remixing extended versions.

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Thanks. I added a little bit to my description there to clarify that point. It's supposed to be a bit bleak and dystopian for this particular track, it's sort of like you're flying around "the empire's" air space in this song particularly. I do see what you're saying though, maybe the guitar starting at the beginning would help it not change feeling quite so drastically.

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Hi! I've listened to the track quite a few times. I don't know if this is much for feedback, but I'll tell you what came to me during the song while imagining a post-apocalyptic world. 

0:00-0:20= Unknown territory, feeling uneasy, danger.

0:21-0:54= Rising to the challenge, bravery, rising spirits.

0:55-end = Lowering of moral, lost, uncertainty.

 

I play and record a lot on my guitar - and it was nice playing- however, I did think it was rather prominently to my right. Could it be an idea to place the guitarist in front and more amongst the orchestra, if that makes sense? I see you have in your requirements to "show case the guitar parts; I reckon that criteria was listed by the employer?
All in all, I think it's a good track. Well done, mate.

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thanks Rune. I appreciate your input. Yeah, I did pan it a bit. Knowing where to put things in stereo seems to be a weakness for me :S Thanks for taking the time to listen and comment!

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