A friend of mine wrote this idea for a story in a game. Please comment whether you think this would be an appealing story:
The first scene is you defeating the Bad Guy who is ruling the world. The bad guy has 4 pet dragons that have magical power. Can you get yourself and the dragons safely home threw the now lawless world?
This obviously needs to be extended some more, but do you think it is good for the basics? (for background: this is a sokoban clone were the boxes are the dragons)
What you have is the barest bones of a plot...this is fine, but be aware in of itself it is neither good nor bad, it simply is what it is....a basic start. But....this is where everything begins - the initial idea or inception or moment of genius/madness. Where you go from here is what really matters. For example:
The Bad Guy ruled the world through mental domination of most of it's subjects. In the Bad Guy's dying throws his last act is to drive all of his subjects insane and thus the world you travel through is one of danger and illogical mayhem as you seek to return to the safety of your home...but will your home be one you recognise anymore.
OR
The Bad Guy being defeated has led to a power vacuum and various generals have taken action to secure their sectors and make bids for the ultimate job, in other places anarchy has broken loose as the civilian populace has overthrown the military leadership in their respective sectors. Thus creating a world in which the player might travel through a number of different areas each with their own political ideology.
OR
The Bad Guy has been defeated and as you make the journey home everything becomes more dangerous, more chaotic, more insane until you come to the disturbing conclusion that the dragon's magic is the true evil and the Bad Guy was simply a pawn. Which begs the question - was taking the dragons truly your choice or have you already succumbed to be the next Bad Guy?
OR
and the possibilities stretch on.
The reality is any idea (no matter how bad it might seem) can be made into a decent story - it just depends on how you do it. So is it good for basics? Yes...but whether it turns out to be a decent story is completely up to you (or your writer).
Hope this helps 
Is the question whether the story is good, or whether its worth building a game around?
If its about whether its good or not, its very early to tell.
Is it worth building a game around? Probably. It really depends on the player you seek to acquire, and whether this playerbase is large enough to your liking.
I'm affraid there is not a direct correlation between a good story and a large playerbase. In fact, a lot of good stories are cramped in niche games... and a lot of AAA games use story as an excuse for action.
I think it's a good start.
Like mentioned above, it's hard to know what the next plot is. What is the lawless land, and just because it's lawless, why are they out to get you?
Are the dragons useful in some way and are they evolving, or are they just luggage? Why are you protecting them? What is your motivation or drive?
No that you've written the first scene, try writing the last one. That will help you fill in the blanks in between. :)
You don't need a story,
- Do you want dragons to be faithful animal helpers against monsters and bandits?
- Do you want dragons to be a precious thing to transport and protect?
- Do you want dragons to provide magical effects to the protagonist?
- Do you want dragons to be creepy?
These particular questions strike me as being completely relevant to use in a story notwithstanding their value for defining game behaviours. You can argue that a story isn't needed and do so legitimately, but that doesn't imply by default that there shouldn't be one especially in the case where the OP seeks specificity with regard story.
Of course sometimes a story might arise after a game's release as illustrated through the Invader (second comic down on the site).
These particular questions strike me as being completely relevant to use in a story notwithstanding their value for defining game behaviours. You can argue that a story isn't needed and do so legitimately, but that doesn't imply by default that there shouldn't be one especially in the case where the OP seeks specificity with regard story.
There's a small logical issue.
Mr. Bad Guy rules the world and has 4 magical dragons. You defeated him. Assuming that Mr. Bad Guy didn't slip and fall into his sword, this implies that either you alone are stronger than Bad Guy and his dragons (then why didn't you kill the dragons, and why would they follow you now?) or the dragons turned against their master, and you and them together are stronger than Mr. Bad Guy.
However, in either case, either you alone,or you plus dragons are now the most powerful entity in the world. If that wasn't the case, Mr. Bad Guy would have been superseded long ago. Therefore, the question "can you make it home safely" is already answered before you start.
Now, one could imagine that in order to "restore the balance of nature" (or some similar story), it is necessary to bring the four dragons to the four corners of the world, but the dragons don't want that, for some reason. This would explain why you didn't kill them (it's necessary that they're alive), and why travelling is troublesome and risky (since it's not you and the dragons against the world, but rather you against the dragons and the world).
