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AhmedCoeia

Are you bipolar or having any psycho problem ?

16 posts in this topic

Hi All,

 

Is anyone here who is a Programmer and write code, and having some anxiety, or bipolar/ ADHD ?

Are you on medication ?  Is your career stable ?  Do you solve mental problems efficiently ?

I'm really interested to hear from people that have the same interests in programming in general and having some mental problems.

 

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I used to have these problems.

 

Then I switched to Java! Now all of my problems have been collected and disposed of!
 

Java, it cures ADHD.

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I'm more INTP than ADD or BPD, but I've been diagnosed with all of those. I haven't had a job in 8 years either.

 

Here's the formula:

 

cognitive stress = importance x uncertainty

 

The higher the cognitive stress, the more twitchy you'll be. So lower one or both of those other variables and you should be able to finish a thought.

 

Also- no alcohol or caffeine and stop watching tv and read instead.

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I've been diagnosed bi polar, anxiety, depression and OCD, but I really don't think I am very OCD. I am but not to a point where it interferes with my life in any way whatsoever, which is why I think its ridiculous that doctors recommend I take heavy psyche meds for it that will definitely interfere with my daily life.

 

as far as anxiety and depression go I am doing much better now, I had it really bad but when I was around 19-20 years old I got off all psyche meds and began trying to 'fix my brain.' I didn't know it at the time but what I basically did was some intense CBT(Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - google term that I suggest anyone with these issues should look into) on myself. 

 

The one thing I can't shake is the manic/depressive stages I go through as a symptom of bipolar disorder. I don't take meds for that either, I don't like being on psyche meds in general and I find I am a lot better working with my 'mental illness' rather than against it. A lot of very successful people were bipolar, especially in creative fields. depressive phases are a HUGE stunt to my productivity, I am basically out of the game completely for a couple weeks every couple months but I think that I more than make up for it when I get really manic and stay up for 72 hours coding, for some people this can be dangerous as sever mania can lead to psychosis - which for me is the only symptom I would consider serious enough to be worth trying medication for - but the only time that has happened to me was when I was on ssri's for depression(ssri + bipolar = extreme mania).

 

These issues have certainly set me back a lot but only because I let them. I wasted a few years of my life where I could have already been in college and learning but instead I was doing 'other things,' I'll just leave it at that. Now I am doing fine, I'm going back to school and doing really well with little effort and I've learned a TON about programming on my own in the last year. 

 

 

As someone who has gone through it all and been everywhere from institutionalized to homeless to literally dead for a few minutes, but is now supporting myself and paying my way through school as a freelance programmer and getting straight A's the best advice I can give you is this:

 

Don't look at yourself as a bipolar person or a person with adhd or whatever. Those are just words made up to classify people with similar behaviors that are different than normal. If the majority of people were bipolar then we'd be calling the ones who didn't have it excessively flat or baseline and we'd make up a diagnosis for it. As person with psychological diagnosis your main disadvantage is living in a world made by mostly 'normal' people, which therefore is obviously designed to be most suitable for other 'normal' people. But don't let that stop you because every unusual quality someone has is a disadvantage in some ways and an advantage in others. When you start to recognize your limitations and your abilities you can set goals specific to yourself, goals that would be more difficult for people without your quirks, and work towards them, working along with your unique psyche instead of trying to suppress it and do things the normal way. It really is a sin how many people live their whole lives unhappy and as underachievers because they are trying to do things the 'normal' way instead of being who they are, Never let anyone make you think that you need to be 'fixed.'

 

Specifically relating to programming, I feel like some parts are much easier for me than other people and other things are more difficult for me. I was never diagnosed as adhd but I have the symptoms and they really effect my ability to sit down and just work. Forcing myself to think linearly and follow one train of thought to solve a problem is doable but it drains a LOT of mental energy. If I'm doing that kind of work I need to take a few breaks every hour and walk around for 5-10 minutes. But I am a great problem solver and a great architect, if I do say so myself. I never have to turn away from a problem that seems really complicated because I know if I think about it enough I'll find a solution as long as one exists. And architecture is just something that seems obvious to me. I see much better programmers than I asking questions about architecture or making decisions about it that I just don't understand how such a good programmer could not see things that seem so obvious. Those are definitely my strengths but for every strength I also have an equal weakness that I have to deal with. After a while you start to find techniques to play off your strengths and minimize the impact of your weaknesses and once you get good at it you'll surprise yourself. One way to look at life is as a big optimization problem/

 

Sorry for the long post and excessive quotes when talking about 'mental illness,' as you may have guessed this is a very manic week for me smile.png. I hope your not sitting there reading this and thinking 'Oh god, I'm gonna end up like that guy!'

 

 

EDIT: I think latch's short post was much more helpful than mine. Just wanted to emphasize his points

Edited by Moe091
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I have OCD. I tried medication briefly, but the only available meds are really just antidepressants and kind of tangential to OCD itself. I've found it to be much better to manage my behaviors and accept that there are some things I won't be able to do (or at least, not without pretty intense distress) as opposed to hoping that medication will be able to make it go away completely with side effects. Of course, with any mental or psychological issue, what works for one person may not work at all for another.

 

My job is stable, and in a lot of ways the behaviors I use to manage the OCD are very helpful. The OCD itself is not.

 

I guess I solve mental problems efficiently. Efficiently enough, at any rate. Obsessions and compulsions can easily distract me, especially if I'm under stress or slacking on keeping them in check. It's more of an obstacle when I sit down to write code. It's very very easy to write off an approach because it doesn't "feel right", in the same sense that my obsessions/compulsions feel necessary, and that can be a difficult block to move past. Almost as dangerous is the temptation to apply a solution I know is not very good and balance my dissatisfaction with the mild endorphin boost that comes from indulging my obsessive/compulsive behaviors.

 

I used to think that OCD gave me an unusual and valuable insight into things. Now I think that that's a bit naive, and I work hard to keep it as under control as possible so that it doesn't inhibit my thinking or waste my time with meaningless behaviors.

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@diventure

I used to be diagonsed by anxiety and bipolar specturm, now they say I'm bipolar... but recently I have been diagnosed by ADHD!.

 

it seems you guys those problems didn't affect your work that much....

I feel that I stuck in math problems, algorithms, that much.  When I was young,  I was very clever and among the top students of a school of 1000 students... :/

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Can't say I've had anything serious. Was once diagnosed with some sort of anxiety disorder because I kept having panic attacks while I was driving causing me to almost pass out at the wheel and cause some pretty bad accidents. Obviously anxiety didn't have much of an effect on my programming and only came about during over stimulating activites.

 

Doctors tried to put me on medication but I refused. Fixed myself by just getting heaps of exercise and eating and sleeping really well. Haven't gone back for another check up to see if it's "medically proven" to be gone, although I'm sure my own diagnosis on this matter is more than enough to be sure I'm better.

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I have a thyroid problem that used to make me... "unstable". With very poor judgement when under stress. Unsurprisingly, I burned through a fairly high number of jobs.

 

I'm not so bad with this now we're treating it properly, but people still think of me as the crazy version. What's worse is that because the thyroid problems can interfere with memory formation I can't remember large lumps of the time when I was doing this stuff. I tend to default to apologising to people I've not seen in a while (the ones who will still talk to me) these days on the basis that I probably did something to upset them at some point in the past.

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I was diagnosed before as having Aspergers...

 

on psychological tests (MBTI), I generally come up as ISTP.

 

in the past, had some issues with depression, but this hasn't been as much of an issue in recent years (and generally floated around my ongoing issue of not really having money and lack of female interest...). (like: no one really interested in hiring, not really having anything that can make money, and no females who are interested, ...). granted, yes, it is probably a pretty hard sell to expect females to be interested in someone without a lot of money and a car and a house and similar. less sure about jobs, but I think mostly HR people automatically dislike me or something...

 

 

otherwise, not a whole lot really notable...

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I am diagnosed with anxiety and panic attack disorder. I was on Paxil CR (a Godsend!), but lost my insurance and it is freakishly expensive with no generic version. It's scary to be standing outside of your body, helplessly watching yourself lose control. Not fun.

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I was on Paxil CR (a Godsend!), but lost my insurance and it is freakishly expensive with no generic version.

 

Who told you that there was no generic version?  I've been taking generic paroxetine (also for anxiety and panic attack disorder) for years.

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Marks, how was your programming activities during the time on Paxil ?

 

Not much different. I am a programmer as a hobby and a professional driver by trade. I started noticing the panic attacks while driving in traffic. It rarely crosses over into my personal life.

 

 

I was on Paxil CR (a Godsend!), but lost my insurance and it is freakishly expensive with no generic version.

 

Who told you that there was no generic version?  I've been taking generic paroxetine (also for anxiety and panic attack disorder) for years.

 

 

Several pharmacies and my doctor at the time. I do know that Paxil does have a generic version, but not Paxil CR. Or, at least not back in 2011. I don't know much about the differences between the two, other than Paxil CR is a timed release pill and I was warned very strongly by both a therapist and my doctor not to take Paxil.

Edited by MarkS
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Not much different. I am a programmer as a hobby and a professional driver by trade. I started noticing the panic attacks while driving in traffic. It rarely crosses over into my personal life.

 

I was pretty much the opposite.  My panic attacks were occurring only in social situations, so I did what a lot of people with social phobia do and got myself a job in the hospitality industry. It adds a roleplaying aspect to social interactions and you end up getting so familiar with being around other people that it becomes possible to do so out of work hours.   I still have real trouble with theatres but can cope with pretty much any social situations now.

 

And it turns out I really like industry so over a decade later, I'm still in it, managing a restaurant.

 


Several pharmacies and my doctor at the time. I do know that Paxil does have a generic version, but not Paxil CR. Or, at least not back in 2011. I don't know much about the differences between the two, other than Paxil CR is a timed release pill and I was warned very strongly by both a therapist and my doctor not to take Paxil.

 

There were definitely generic controlled release formulations before 2010 (the patent for paroxetine ran out in 2003, so other companies have been making their own since then), as I was on one.  Even if there weren't, controlled release formulations can be emulated by taking the regular formulation at smaller doses at more frequent intervals, which is what I need to do with another medication I take.  It does require you to be more careful about remembering to take pills at the right time which is a bit of a hassle at first, but you get used to it.

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