Storyline plots + goals for JRPG+western Hybrid Concept

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11 comments, last by Norin 10 years, 4 months ago

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This is just showing my train of thought of a possible story idea for my concept. The post is here:

http://www.gamedev.net/topic/650644-the-idea-of-mixing-jrpg-and-western-rpgs-into-one-game/

Modern/political/War
Ex - soldier because he was banished for treason
(WHY?)
The government is actually from another faction, as they killed the old government a long time ago and they have just been feeding the citizens lies.
so character Kills one of the government parties because they wanted to bring back a monster that they'd control to enslave the city.
Government keeps it quiet and goes on to tell the town that he is a rogue soldier that didn't want to follow orders in which he had to go on a mission to bring back materials from another faction that will save the city from any dangers such as;
Wars
Apocalypse
attacks
etc.
And so this rogue soldier wanted to betray the city and not let them live on. Knowing the character has seen this truth, they banish him off the land with the cover up story.
(SO WHY DIDN'T THEY JUST KILL YOU?)
They didn't kill him because the government before them have already laid down laws that soldiers should not be killed as it's not a certain punishment (Government was very philosophical) and so all soldiers must suffer and be banished from land or kept imprisioned. But the new government have no plans for character and citizens perfer banishment than imprisonment as they were brought up to believe so. New government can not make changes because of a decree that only elder judges can change the public laws and since the new government have killed off every party before them, they have no choice but to also follow these laws. inviting everyone to a ceremony to declare these laws will be too risky as they don't want to show there faces as they will have to explain the 'departure' of the old party and that might start a revolt towards them and they need as much recruits as they can for their plan to work. So following the rules will avoid this entirely. (This faction is known for intellectual war strategies)
The goal for the character is to stop the government in his hometown from creating this monster and enslaving everyone. Which can be done by:
(EDIT: I've only wrote down a goal idea and haven't fully read over any quirks)
1. Persuading other factions to join him in fighting the government (which goes horribly wrong and it just turns out to be a huge war fight, also finding out that you're too late and the government finishes the monster and summons it and so you and your party have to then kill the monster '' the super solider''. your character's party numbers depend on your choices)
I apologize if it doesn't make sense to you, i'll try explain what i was thinking. if you kinda understood the background story for my concept then thank goodness! lol
I'd appreicate any replies, advice or any changes i should make to the idea as it'll help me out ALOT right now! smile.png
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Straight to the point: You're trying to fight this corrupt government.

Hmm. Well, this story is not a type I usually like, so I am not in the target audience, and not the best person to critique it. But I have some thoughts:

1. For an interactive story, it is ideal if the main character has no significant history/baggage before the initial incident of the story. In this case the initial incident would be killing the person who wanted to bring back the monster to enslave the city.

2. The main character of a game always has to start at their least knowledgeable and competent. It doesn't work very well to have the main character have done anything badass in the past. Anticlimax is a very bad thing in story design.

3. To show a government's corruption would normally require being in the country of that government to see first-hand what bad things the government is doing. Banishment is sort of the opposite. Though, it could be interesting if the set-up were a colony on an alien planet, where the colony was trying to keep tyrannical control over its population and banishing unwanted people into the alien wilderness where they would presumably die. Perhaps banished people would be made temporarily sterile in some way that only an antidote or machine found inside the colony could reverse, so there would be no possibility of surviving banish-ees starting a competing colony. Or more likely, all the citizens of the colony would be unable to reproduce except when specifically allowed by the government as a reward. Reproduction control is certainly a modern political issue.

I want to help design a "sandpark" MMO. Optional interactive story with quests and deeply characterized NPCs, plus sandbox elements like player-craftable housing and lots of other crafting. If you are starting a design of this type, please PM me. I also love pet-breeding games.


3. To show a government's corruption would normally require being in the country of that government to see first-hand what bad things the government is doing. Banishment is sort of the opposite. Though, it could be interesting if the set-up were a colony on an alien planet, where the colony was trying to keep tyrannical control over its population and banishing unwanted people into the alien wilderness where they would presumably die. Perhaps banished people would be made temporarily sterile in some way that only an antidote or machine found inside the colony could reverse, so there would be no possibility of surviving banish-ees starting a competing colony. Or more likely, all the citizens of the colony would be unable to reproduce except when specifically allowed by the government as a reward. Reproduction control is certainly a modern political issue.

So doing something like banishment would only work if it's in an alien colony like how you described? o _ o?

Any storyline's you think i should consider doing or should i go back and rethink? lol

What I'm saying is banishment could work for a bunch of things but possibly not a corrupt government. The reason I think the colony on an alien world might squeak by is there is so much pressure from multiple directions to sneak back into the place they have been banished from instead of just living somewhere else or coming back with an army (turning the corrupt government internal problem into a standard war vs. immoral bad guys external problem). It's not the only way you could channel a banished character into sneaking back into the country they were banished from or lurking on its borders, just an interesting way to do so and an interesting setting that sprang to mind.

I've of course got lots of stories I'd like to see done in an interactive story+sandbox game, but they're not similar to what you've got here, maybe they wouldn't be your style at all. I'm a woman who grew up in the 80s, and a lot of entertainment produced since the 90s on is too "darker and edgier" for me. I like relatively cheerful stories which have a mix of adventure, comedy, romance, mystery, sensawonda, and just a small amount of angst and uncertainty so it's not too fluffy. I like low fantasy non-earth worlds, sci-fi-historical worlds where aliens replace humans in a low tech setting, and star-trek-esque futuristic worlds, preferably not involving Earth as a setting. (Low fantasy means the opposite of high fantasy - no elves or assasins or prophecies and dark lords and epic wars and that kind of crap. Instead magic as a natural force which is used in some of the same ways steam power or electricity or machinery could be used, plus a variety of medical and artistic uses.)

This is a pattern I like for an interactive story game:
1. For the initial incident, either:

-----A. Present the main character as an almost-adult who has a tutorial challenge to pass which will allow them to set off on an adventure (e.g. pokemon journey, hogwarts letter, exam to be accepted to space academy, ninja exam, mage exam, native american-esque vision quest aka survival test, etc.)

-----B. Present the main character as an unremarkable person who suddenly has something baffling happen to them (e.g. turn into a werewolf, fall through a door into another world, get abducted by aliens (preferably attractive ones), get marooned on an uninhabited island and/or alien planet, etc.)

2. After the first challenge: (do both of these, but one first, then the other as a change-up to prevent boredom)

-----A. Present two or three factions with different philosophies, and have the player choose one and start working their way up within the faction by doing quests; introduce some potential love interests in there too.

-----B. Present a clue about the world's big mystery and what the player's purpose there might be; for tasks have the character focus on survivalism goals like gathering food, building a house, and more related to the plot, training their special power(s).

3. Develop someone for the main character to struggle against: either someone from an opposing faction, or an uncooperative assigned partner, or an egotistical rival. Since it's an interactive story you could have all three, but encourage the player to focus on one at a time.

4. A dungeon filled with puzzles and loot might be nice at this point.

5.+ Now you're about 1/4 of the way in to your average RPG, and you want to alternate socializing/questing sections with dungeon/puzzle sections and a steady doling-out of clues and new/better powers and a recurring irritating enemy until you get near the climax.

(N-2). The climactic struggle should depend on the choices the player has made in the game. So there will be an array of specific pre-created possibilities for the big bad guy and the thematic issue they represent. Somewhere around 8 options. The player has to complete some kind of preparation sequence to unlock the confrontation.

(N-1) Climactic battle, emotional resolution.

(N). New game plus - the player gets to restart, retaining some advantages, or can continue playing with the world's sandbox elements as the hero or new dark lord or etc, accompanied by any love interest(s) they have won.

I want to help design a "sandpark" MMO. Optional interactive story with quests and deeply characterized NPCs, plus sandbox elements like player-craftable housing and lots of other crafting. If you are starting a design of this type, please PM me. I also love pet-breeding games.


What I'm saying is banishment could work for a bunch of things but possibly not a corrupt government. The reason I think the colony on an alien world might squeak by is there is so much pressure from multiple directions to sneak back into the place they have been banished from instead of just living somewhere else or coming back with an army (turning the corrupt government internal problem into a standard war vs. immoral bad guys external problem). It's not the only way you could channel a banished character into sneaking back into the country they were banished from or lurking on its borders, just an interesting way to do so and an interesting setting that sprang to mind.

I see you just like aliens haha :3


I've of course got lots of stories I'd like to see done in an interactive story+sandbox game, but they're not similar to what you've got here, maybe they wouldn't be your style at all. I'm a woman who grew up in the 80s, and a lot of entertainment produced since the 90s on is too "darker and edgier" for me. I like relatively cheerful stories which have a mix of adventure, comedy, romance, mystery, sensawonda, and just a small amount of angst and uncertainty so it's not too fluffy. I like low fantasy non-earth worlds, sci-fi-historical worlds where aliens replace humans in a low tech setting, and star-trek-esque futuristic worlds, preferably not involving Earth as a setting. (Low fantasy means the opposite of high fantasy - no elves or assasins or prophecies and dark lords and epic wars and that kind of crap. Instead magic as a natural force which is used in some of the same ways steam power or electricity or machinery could be used, plus a variety of medical and artistic uses.)

To be honest, most of my dark-edgy type stuff have become too complicated or boring EVEN TO ME haha and i'm not against cheerful stories with so much emotion like comedy and romance etc. so i'll try it smile.png Now it's my turn to introduce myself. I'm a college student in london (College is different than in US where college for us starts at 16+ just to avoid any age misunderstandings) and i'm studying games and animation ( so you see why i'm so into what i post haha ) and it's true about what they say, the dark-edgy stuff is interesting but too dark and edgy and my teacher always encourages us to make him laugh or cry ( to push us to create emotional things ) and it kinda relates to games. If a game can make me laugh or cry i'm automatically attached to that game ( I also love watching comedy, comedy in games and being comedic) so doing something opposite from dark might make it easier on me. OBVIOUSLY NOT MAKING IT FEEL LIKE A FLUFFY, SUGAR AND CANDY STUFFED GAME. But an adventure worth going on.


This is a pattern I like for an interactive story game:
1. For the initial incident, either:
-----A. Present the main character as an almost-adult who has a tutorial challenge to pass which will allow them to set off on an adventure (e.g. pokemon journey, hogwarts letter, exam to be accepted to space academy, ninja exam, mage exam, native american-esque vision quest aka survival test, etc.)
-----B. Present the main character as an unremarkable person who suddenly has something baffling happen to them (e.g. turn into a werewolf, fall through a door into another world, get abducted by aliens (preferably attractive ones), get marooned on an uninhabited island and/or alien planet, etc.)

2. After the first challenge: (do both of these, but one first, then the other as a change-up to prevent boredom)
-----A. Present two or three factions with different philosophies, and have the player choose one and start working their way up within the faction by doing quests; introduce some potential love interests in there too.
-----B. Present a clue about the world's big mystery and what the player's purpose there might be; for tasks have the character focus on survivalism goals like gathering food, building a house, and more related to the plot, training their special power(s).

3. Develop someone for the main character to struggle against: either someone from an opposing faction, or an uncooperative assigned partner, or an egotistical rival. Since it's an interactive story you could have all three, but encourage the player to focus on one at a time.

4. A dungeon filled with puzzles and loot might be nice at this point.

5.+ Now you're about 1/4 of the way in to your average RPG, and you want to alternate socializing/questing sections with dungeon/puzzle sections and a steady doling-out of clues and new/better powers and a recurring irritating enemy until you get near the climax.

(N-2). The climactic struggle should depend on the choices the player has made in the game. So there will be an array of specific pre-created possibilities for the big bad guy and the thematic issue they represent. Somewhere around 8 options. The player has to complete some kind of preparation sequence to unlock the confrontation.

(N-1) Climactic battle, emotional resolution.

(N). New game plus - the player gets to restart, retaining some advantages, or can continue playing with the world's sandbox elements as the hero or new dark lord or etc, accompanied by any love interest(s) they have won.

This actually sounds good as a structure. Of course changing some things up so it doesn't feel like a cliched story-line and game, some points i actually liked and would love to make as my base and just adapt off from it. As if i follow your likes and dislikes dead on i'd basically be making a game fit just for YOU! haha smile.png but yeah, this feels as though i could work from this a little and just change the bits that fit and don't fit in the story i'm going for. If that all makes sense x _ x

EDIT: I'm going for a low-fantasy setting but subtly putting it there where i see fit.

Good! smile.png I tried to make it flexible without making it so vague it was useless, but since I wrote it by definition it is slanted according to my ideas and opinions; please do modify and personalize it to create something you like. I have no objection to bits being discarded, added, substituted, rearranged, etc. And that goes for any of the suggestions I make in my posts, tutorials, or critique.

Nice to meet you BTW. :) My own degree is in English - I don't have any formal credentials in game design, just a lot of time spent thinking about it as a hobby. I agree with your teacher in encouraging people to create stories which are emotionally powerful - sympathy and suspense are the two primary reasons people consume fiction, and those are both directly tied to the writer's ability to create situations and events that cause the audience to feel various emotions, from hooking them in at the beginning to sending them home satisfied (or shivering) at the end. Ideas and theme are important to making a work meaningful and memorable, but emotions are what make it feel alive.

I want to help design a "sandpark" MMO. Optional interactive story with quests and deeply characterized NPCs, plus sandbox elements like player-craftable housing and lots of other crafting. If you are starting a design of this type, please PM me. I also love pet-breeding games.

The story could be a whole lot more interesting if you had a more tangible antagonist than "the government". It seems very cold and faceless even to the extent that you can't really build any negative feelings towards it.

If you count the occurrence of the words "government" and "law" you can understand why I feel there is perhaps too much politics going on. The character is a soldier, there's a subtext of war and monsters so why do we care for bureaucracy and formalities? Even though it's story game this makes the player want to bash X to skip to the action, doesn't it?

But I see this more of you setting the framework for your story that perhaps later takes a more personal point of view for conveying instead of just having the narrator dictate some events that took place. Once you've established your setting we are likely to hear more about your characters and how they relate to the whole which is maybe the interesting part.


Good! I tried to make it flexible without making it so vague it was useless, but since I wrote it by definition it is slanted according to my ideas and opinions; please do modify and personalize it to create something you like. I have no objection to bits being discarded, added, substituted, rearranged, etc. And that goes for any of the suggestions I make in my posts, tutorials, or critique.

I'm going to try and design something less ambitious so i don't complicate anything. If i take banishment into a lighter context, it'd be evacuation right? Which would give me the first bit of the character's story ( Initial incident B most likely )


The story could be a whole lot more interesting if you had a more tangible antagonist than "the government". It seems very cold and faceless even to the extent that you can't really build any negative feelings towards it.

If you count the occurrence of the words "government" and "law" you can understand why I feel there is perhaps too much politics going on. The character is a soldier, there's a subtext of war and monsters so why do we care for bureaucracy and formalities? Even though it's story game this makes the player want to bash X to skip to the action, doesn't it?

Looking at the word 'tangible'. The antagonist would need to be easily contacted or recognized. And taking out all the political things, i'd be left with war and monsters. Seeing that my character would be a soldier, do you think it'll be easier to make the antagonist the actual general or leader? Although i'm pretty skeptical about going down a War path I'd feel more better just taking war out altogether lol


But I see this more of you setting the framework for your story that perhaps later takes a more personal point of view for conveying instead of just having the narrator dictate some events that took place. Once you've established your setting we are likely to hear more about your characters and how they relate to the whole which is maybe the interesting part.

It actually was just me writing down some sort of story and seeing if it could fit :) And i'm in love with the ''whole characters relating to what's going on'' thing as i actually would like to have it as a main emotional core. For example, why you'd want to sit down and actually watch a cutscene or read a piece of dialogue.

I'm going to try and design something less ambitious so i don't complicate anything. If i take banishment into a lighter context, it'd be evacuation right? Which would give me the first bit of the character's story ( Initial incident B most likely )

Evacuation, or being posted to the middle of nowhere as a punishment for being annoying or having punched somebody important in the nose, or an enforced vacation because if they were present for some upcoming event they'd interfere with it.

I'm not entirely sure what you mean by complexity, but in my experience the complexity of an RPG's plot corresponds directly to the game's length. Some are more like long short stories, some like novellas, some like screenplays, some like a full novel, some like a whole season of anime. (On the other hand, some stories have a simple main story with a uselessly complicated pointless backstory, that's a good thing to avoid.)

Looking at the word 'tangible'. The antagonist would need to be easily contacted or recognized. And taking out all the political things, i'd be left with war and monsters. Seeing that my character would be a soldier, do you think it'll be easier to make the antagonist the actual general or leader? Although i'm pretty skeptical about going down a War path I'd feel more better just taking war out altogether lol

War usually has some political aspects, though it's true that the political parts are opposite the actual fighting. There are many comedy movies about life in the military which have little actual fighting and lots of politics instead. An irritating superior officer or an enemy leader are the two logical choices of antagonist for the main plot, though they would likely have minions and/or monsters who would be the actual opponents in skirmishes in the middle of the story.

If you want to not do war or political maneuvering you have to have some other type of main action instead, like a competition, investigating a mystery, trying to build up skills/resources to escape an unpleasantly limited existence, imminent danger to run away from, a wilderness frontier to explore, a new ability to learn to control, etc.

I want to help design a "sandpark" MMO. Optional interactive story with quests and deeply characterized NPCs, plus sandbox elements like player-craftable housing and lots of other crafting. If you are starting a design of this type, please PM me. I also love pet-breeding games.

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