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goobert final revision(hopefully!)

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Ok everyone so hopefully this is my last storyling post^^ so to all who have followed or helped me on this, a lot of the dtory is unchanged and I'm sorry, you may be bored rereading some parts :)

Side note: the game is in programming production! Were making a mockup level to see how we want it put together, then were making a level editor so its easier to create levels(and for the community to make their own ;9)

In a small hut in a remote swamp, an evil witch doctor has been playing god for over 300 years. With hate in her heart and fire in her bones, sinister creations arise from clay that turns to living goo when infused with "Essence", a deathly mixture that can give any inatimate object life

Cauldron bubbling and spellbook nearly memorized by now, the witch doctor feels she is close to the next step, bringing the dead back. "Blowfish poison!" She exclaims. She reaches for a jar in the far left of the top shelf above her sinister concoction of mischief and greed, and dumps it all into the pot. "Single dose, second life. Double dose, sure to die!" She giggles slightly. Suddenly the mixture boils over and splashes all over the floor and smolders the fire, turning the room pitch black. Candlelight at her side, the witch doctor examines the small mound of bubbles on the floor. A small green blob gave out a gargled cry, and crawled about the floor akwardly. She cackled eith joy! "i can create it from nothing now! No more sleepless nughts digging for clay!" she pranced around the caldroun and stomped around the goo blob who cried more, which made the witch doctor laugh more.

Over the next year she perfected the small blobs, playing with their properties and traits, working out the nitches in her potion so that one day she could bring her beloved marcus back. He was hanged by a dreadful king several hundred years ago for thought of treason. Ever since, she swore death and vengeance upon anyone who wore the crown of england, and that marcys would once again be within her arms.

In come goobert and stella. A pair of dolls on the top shelf on the left where the jar of blowfish poison was perched so many years ago. Quietly they sat, lifeless and useless. The witch doctor also kept her creations in a sealed jar just to the right of stella. One of the blobs had escaped from its cage and started to wander aimlessly. It had made its way over stella and goobert, and was currently on the corner of the shelf hanging just over the edge. The old nails holding the wood could not bear the weight shift, and gave way knocking goobert, stella, the curious blib, and his fellow abominations into the witches newest stew. The blobs swam around and eventually made it to the edge, leaving the coldroun unharmed and unaffected. The witchdoctor heard the crash and hurried over, finding goos all over the room, goobert and stella floating in the pot. She scoulded herself, and squished several goos, putting the survivors back in their jar and sealing it, this time with a powerful spell. She fished out goobert and stella, and threw them into a corner of the room, disgusted. They were useless to her now. Little did she know, the ragdoll stella and voodoo stringdoll goobert were now very special objects. Being plunged in, The new potion gave them life, awareness, and emotion.

Goobert shivers, and looks around. Never using his body or eyes before, he struggles to even stand. He wanders around, eventually running into stella. He immediately falls in love and, being new to the emotion, loses his breath and passes out. He awakes, and stella is missing. Goobert goes searching and finds her on the edge of a table, admiring the erie green glow from the cauldron. He sits next to her, startling stella. She jumps up and backs away, as goobert attempts to follow. Stella backs up more and trips on a thimble. Gokbert tries to comfort her with a rather forced hug, permanently cementing in stellas mind that goobert is something she wants to stay away from.

Stella attempts to run and goobert grabs her foot, which makes stella cry out. The with doctor hears and rushes in, seeing the scramble from her two discarded misfit toys. She shrieks with joy and grabs stella, a now living ragdoll. "So much closer!" She screams. She opens a jar and throws stella in, then reaches for goobert, who flees and hides underneath the table. "Get bafk here you vile thing!" The witch doctor howls as she throws back the chair in her way and snatches at goobert. Frightened that a giant just swung at him, goobert turns and runs, managing to squeeze into a mousehole.

Goobert pops out of another hole across the room, and climbs the bookshelf for a better view of the room. There he finds a jar with a skeleton inside of it-- a shrunken skeleton. But not just a syrunken skeleton, a device and a note. Goobert climbs a book and noticed the lid is off, and proceeds to jump inside. He reads the note on the tiniest piece of paper yohve ever seeb, no doubt shrunk with the poor soul inside.

"if anyone suffers the same fate as me, please read this,

My name us paul, and i am-- was-- a traveling salesman. I came out here after driving past to go to my quarterly review in alabama. I noticed a small house and thought i could make one last sale before i reached the meeting... instead it was the last sale of my life.

I was shrunk and placed in this jar, i still cant believe it happened, how is this even possible? No matter, a blob tried to attack me and i managed to suck it up with a vacuum cleaner i was goi g to sell. Damn ugly mess, but now i cant even use the vacuum. I think the blob gucked up the internals.

Please, if anyone reads this, tell my wife i love her. Tell her what happened, not that shell believe you. Her name--"

The note cuts out. Goobert inspects the vacuum, and as he touches it BAM! It moves! Scared beyond belief goobert jumps and kicks it, turning the vacuum into reverse and shooting an organge goo all over the jar. Goobert, now blinded by goo guck, reaches for the anythjng to help him. He grabs the vacuum cleaner, sti in reverse. The vubrations startle goobert and he jumps again, this time holding onto the vacuum in fear it will attack him again. When he lands, the orange goo properties kick in and jetison goobert out of the jar. He bangs his head on the ceiling of the bookshelf and lands on his back, the vacuum landing on his head. Goobert hops up and kicks the vacuum again, which turns it off. He fiddles eith it a bit, becoming more ckmfortable with the device. He then puts it on, and decides uf it sucked up ne goo, maybe he can use it for more goos and fight his way to stella. Thus starts his adventure!

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It's a longish text without a specific question and writing forum isn't the hottest area around here as for most the professional interest is in coding, so don't take it personally smile.png


The story is great and you have laid the foundations to start building visual assets for your game. But don't nail anything totally down because you could be developing this for months and look how much progress you've made with the story in just a week smile.png


When I read stories I also visualize it and think about all the assets you need for it. I think there's a lot you need to make just for the cutscenes and that can be considered a good investment in story giving more meaning to your game. Since you have artistic talent I don't think making them will be an issue at all. And maybe you can re-use the misc background props in your level design as well. I think you'll want to schedule things so that are developing the game levels along with intro so that things don't get too monotonous for you and you don't totally forget either of them. Target releasing the intro along with the first chapter of your gameplay and you're off to a good start that should provoke much more interest than just "a platformer game". smile.png

Edited by ShadowFlar3

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I was hesitant to read this at first considering its size, but after reading the first two paragraphs I realized it was something different than what I was expecting.

I enjoyed reading this. I think there are a few grammar and orthographic errors that should be fixed, as they are very distracting, but the content itself has a cinematic impression.


This story should serve not only for a game but also an animation feature (stop-motion animation comes to mind, something like Armikrog or The Neverhood).

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I agree that this sounds like an interesting story. As Kryzon noted, there are a few grammatical errors, but those can easily be fixed.


Good luck. smile.png

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Sorry, I wrote it all entirely on my phone^^ and kryzon, I agree it would be awesome to do such a thing. Most of the time, n9ne comes up in my head haha.


I will go ahead and fix the grammatical errors.


Side note: weve decided to use spritesheets for animations instead of flash. And gamemaker: studio as the game engine. Weve also decided booby traps will exist in the game to distort the screen, make gooberts movement keys backwards, or turn all the goo minions on the map into goo generals, for example.


I hope to have a working demo by february filled with all cinematics and enough content to keep you coming back for more ;)


@shadowflar3, I agree with you. Now as for reusing backgrounds, my idea is to use a very simplistic background for each chalter, and change the blocks instead. This gives me much more flexibility(like battleblock theater). And trust me, my job is storyline, puzzles, and graphics, there for I'm always thinging about how I want the game portrayed ^^ I think, when this is done, itll be a great mix between cinematics and interaction!

Edited by Goobert

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