Hi there!

Usually I don't whine about stuff, because somehow I'm able to fix and take care of most of the problems my self. But for now I'm a bit lost.

I'm almost 25 and I work as a web developer and in my free time, apart from going out and playing games, I also program and jump from different topics this including game dev, os dev, embedded and web.

I live good. I have a job that I do not hate most of the time, I have a place to live, I have a loving family and I don't lack the attention of friends. (I'm missing a girl though but not sure it bothers me too much as the topic in this thread).

One quality of my personality is that I don't like to depend too much on other people. Therefore I try to be as independent as possible in every aspect of my life. I got my own car only because I did not want to be depended on the mood of my father and letting him decide if I can take his car today or not. I moved to my own place, just be able to live at my own schedule other than sharing it with my family. And more and more less "big" things. Of course I can not be 100% independent in every aspect of my life, but I try to minimize those aspects.

Some might say its good, others think its bad. I don't care, that's not the point. It works for me and not necessarily will work for anyone else.

One thing that bothers me for now, is the dependency that I have at my job. Of course being an employee, means that you have someone who manages you, your responsibilities, your time. I don't like that. As I said, I want to be independent. Therefore for a long time I created a vision that I, as a Man, should be my own employer. I should be my own boss. Manage myself.

But when I take shower, I don't get great ideas. I'm sort of lacking creativity. Hence, I can not find my niche. I'm lacking motivation.

At first I though to start an embedded business in home automation industry. I bought a lot of electronics stuff, sensors. Read a lot of datasheets, tutorials. Created ideas for how I would like to have my home, and started to dream of me creating a production line of home automation hardware and software for masses. But by the day my packages arrived, and taking in account that some packages got lost and never arrived, I lost my interest and motivation in this field.

And then I opened my github, and saw the code I was doing 3-4 years ago in game development. Now when indies have easier access to their customers and investors (kickstarter, indiegogo, steam and more), I though to my self, that all I need is a simple, fun game, with clean revenue of 10$ per copy and 100,000 copies, and Ill reach a goal of 1M$ (the dream that everyone have). From there I can setup a small studio and do what I really like to do for the rest of my life.

But usually, I jump from topic to topic and take things out of proportion. Hence I believe that soon Ill loose the interest in that as well, because I'm too young, inexperienced and think the world is pink, and my "awesome" plan is not that easy or awesome.

I just want to find something I'm good at, something I like, and something I can make money of.

But I don't know what I like. Today I like game dev, tomorrow it can be os dev, next month is web dev and etc.

I'm lost. I want to be self employed. I want it for more than 6-7 years, but nothing happens. Usually I'm able to fix my problems myself. But not this time. This time I'm lost and I'd like to ask for advice.

Thanks!

Yes, life questions are impossible to answer. Also taking in account that each life experience is unique and not necessarily applicable to other people. Sometimes I'm not sure what motivates me to write such posts on public, maybe the lack of confidence or the need to share.

I'm not going to criticize your approach. If it works for you its great!

It would't work for me. All I want is to invest my time, which is the most valuable thing I have in life, into something meaningful to me. To create something of my own. To be someone in this world.

I'm not necessarily talking about being a billionaire known to public. I don't care about the public. I don't want to be on TV, nor I want to be recognized on streets. I just want to know, that when I wake up in the morning and go to work, I'm doing this only because I want to, because I really and truly like what I'm going to do today.

By the way, Thank you a lot for the effort to help! I really appreciate this!

Oh I like philosophy!

I'm not going to teach anyone how to live. As I stated earlier, everybody have their own experience and reasons to do what they do (its important however to understand those reasons and knowing why you are doing what you are doing). I'm talking about my self only. At current point in life, my philosophy tells me, that I should be someone in this world. Its unacceptable to me to be no one.

When I'm asked "what are you doing in life", I answer "I'm a web developer in traveling company", without any enthusiasm or passion. Its wrong! We spend at least 8 hours a day at work, its a very significant part of our lives. And I can not accept the fact having no passion and enthusiasm about what I do during this significant part of my life.

Seteve Jobs said:

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

When I ask my self the same question, my answer is No. But I don't know how and what to change.

I'm not sure I understand you.

As I said earlier, my life is pretty comfortable. Of course there are things I'd like to improve and make better (in my understanding, you live as long as there is something you can improve and achieve). But they are not the issue, I'm satisfied with my life except one (well to be honest two, the second one is a normal, stable relationship with the opposite sex), which is work. I want to be self employed and do what I really like to do. The problem is that I'm not sure I know what is it that I really like to do, or, that I know what is it, but don't know how to turn it into business.

You do realise that if you run your own business, you won't be dependant of your one boss or a few bosses, bot lots of stupid customers. The way I see own businesses (especially in the first 5..15 years) it's working ALL the time. 10-12 hours or more a day, maybe on weekends etc. Fighting with customers, banks, rents etc.

I see no independence and freedom here.

For making a decent living with one, or just a few simple games requires enormous luck as I see it. It would be interesting to see what is the percentage of successful indies among all indies. Some games get caught up, and some just doesn't. The same seems to be truth for Kickstater too

As an employee with a usable profession, I can work 8 hours a day, forgot all about work when I step out of the office. Sure, I have limited number of off days, but I'm willing to pay that prize for having a lot of and calculable free time.

Whenever I feel that Steve Jobs thing, I quit the job. Spend a few weeks, or a few months as a jobless, then get a new job again.

I could always give good reasons to quit, so all of my quitting were peaceful and this frequent voluntary job switching wasn't hurtful when seeking jobs, especially nowadays, when it seems to be getting more and more common to frequently switch jobs.

Maybe it wouldn't be that easy as a programmer (I'm a mechanical engineer), but I wouldn't see that so impossible for a programmer either. As an amateur guy who just hacks sometimes, I rejected programming job offers.

Plus I agree with the above commenter, all three employee jobs I had in four years gave me plenty freedom. The last one even has flexible work-time (and I usually work less than 8 yours, and nobody bothers, as long as I do the job well). EDIT: I forgot about my second job, where there were times I didn't even had to go to work. It was a fun, interesting and a job with awesome perspectives. The only problem was that it couldn't pay my salary..... So I had to quit.

So it highly depends on the workplace and the job.

So: no real advice here, apart from maybe quitting your current job and trying another one. EDIT 1k: trying different things is waaay much easier as an employee than as with an own business. A business gets you tied for years , if you don't want to have tons of depth, and/or enemies. Even a dying business can agonize for years, and you can't just get out of it, because your (and maybe others') money lies in the stock, which nobody wants to buy from you.