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BrightBit

Request for Feedback on Dialogues

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Hello guys,

I already announced my current project in the "Your Announcements" forum here. However, although there's not much of it to see I would like to get some separate feedback on the story, especially the dialogues. Do you think it's leaving the player/reader curious enough? Do you have suggestions on how to improve it?

 

Here's the small demo: Humanity's Silence

 

BTW: If you notice a weird use of words, I would like to know that as well since I'm no native speaker.

 

 

Greetings
BrightBit

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I played through what you have posted. (english side) Seems like this is an alpha of the game. If you could post the text on a post here I think you would get more responses. I can take a better look at it also.

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Physics/art issue: if a spaceship crashed into the middle of a city it would make a crater, and buildings would be blown over sideways and darkened with smoke/dust at the edge of the crater.

"Two of our people panicked and run away" run -> ran

"2. Day" would read better as "Day 2"

"However, regardless of what this was all caused by." incomplete sentence/inappropriate period.

 

After that the game got stuck, or I couldn't figure out how to advance to day 3.  Maybe because I chose to do a medical check even though I didn't have the doctor character yet.

 

A volume control for the music would be nice.

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In my opinion the dialogue seems plain, and it says nothing about the characters. I don't feel any emotion or character from them.

If you are okay with that, and the dialogue's sole purpose is to provide information, it's sufficient. However, if you wanted the player to care for the characters, you should add a little more feeling to them. Check this out:

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