http://stilldrinking.org/programming-sucks

Here are some favorites:

You are an expert in all these technologies, and that's a good thing, because that expertise let you spend only six hours figuring out what went wrong, as opposed to losing your job. You now have one extra little fact to tuck away in the millions of little facts you have to memorize because so many of the programs you depend on are written by dicks and idiots.

The only reason coders' computers work better than non-coders' computers is coders know computers are schizophrenic little children with auto-immune diseases and we don't beat them when they're bad.

Here's another one:

#:: ::-| ::-| .-. :||-:: 0-| .-| ::||-| .:|-. :||
open(Q,$0);while(){if(/^#(.*)$/){for(split('-',$1)){$q=0;for(split){s/|
/:.:/xg;s/:/../g;$Q=$_?length:$_;$q+=$q?$Q:$Q*20;}print chr($q);}}}print"n";
#.: ::||-| .||-| :|||-| ::||-| ||-:: :|||-| .:|

According to the author, that program is "two lines of code that parse two lines of embedded comments in the code to read the Mayan numbers representing the individual ASCII characters that make up the magazine title, rendered in 90-degree rotated ASCII art."

That program won a contest, because of course it did.

You're all up to date, so that's cool, then everything breaks.

Yup.

That's all I can say. Just... "yup".

"It always starts with 'Bro'." So true.

So many great snippets... I've been quietly laughing inside now for hours.

I really thought this article would be anti-engineering satire from reading the quotes, but it actually turned out to be very amusing. I was particularly partial to:

Most people don't even know what sysadmins do, but trust me, if they all took a lunch break at the same time they wouldn't make it to the deli before you ran out of bullets protecting your canned goods from roving bands of mutants.

I do that for a living and believe me, it's not amusing.

I still laughed though.