# Best comment ever

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LOL :) golden

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I once read through a piece of code of an open source project that was filled with

//don't even try to make sense of this

and

//get out whilst you can

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From 3rd party code for a game I worked on;

// This is always 2
#define MAX_PLAYERS 3


Back when it was 2nd party code, I'm sure it was 2. =)

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I sprinkle my code with such :
# (Coffeescript)

# TODO: derp, move this
numericSort = (a,b) -> a-b

# ...

# TODO: less huehue
ids = (_.pluckDeep models, '*.foo[*].bar[*].id').sort numericSort


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hardly the best comment ever, but it acts like it..

      angle_x  = 0;                      /* Set X-axis angle to zero */
trx      =  mat[5];                 /* And calculate Z-axis angle */


may not seem like an issue until you try to decomment that section of code...

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These are hilarious. During my undergrad I was working on a partner project and found this in a 20 line .c file:

;;;;;  ;;;;;;  ;;      ;; ;;             ;;;;;;;  ;;;;;;;  ;;       ;;;;;;;  ;;   ;;  ;;;;;
;;     ;;      ;;;;  ;;;;                ;;       ;;   ;;  ;;       ;;   ;;  ;;;  ;;  ;;
;;;;;  ;;;;;;  ;;  ;;  ;; ;;   ;;;;;;    ;;       ;;   ;;  ;;       ;;   ;;  ;; ; ;;  ;;;;;
;;  ;;      ;;      ;; ;;             ;;       ;;   ;;  ;;       ;;   ;;  ;;  ;;;     ;;
;;;;;  ;;;;;;  ;;      ;; ;;             ;;;;;;;  ;;;;;;;  ;;;;;;;  ;;;;;;;  ;;   ;;  ;;;;;


Which much to my surprise compiles just fine.

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Well d'oh, they're all empty statements, pretty much every language that uses semicolons to finish sentences supports them (I think the only exception is Lua). I have to admit though, when I saw that my first thought was that it was assembly (since semicolons are the usual comment character for assemblers).

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Well right, it just doesn't FEEL like it should!

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These are hilarious. During my undergrad I was working on a partner project and found this in a 20 line .c file:

;;;;;  ;;;;;;  ;;      ;; ;;             ;;;;;;;  ;;;;;;;  ;;       ;;;;;;;  ;;   ;;  ;;;;;
;;     ;;      ;;;;  ;;;;                ;;       ;;   ;;  ;;       ;;   ;;  ;;;  ;;  ;;
;;;;;  ;;;;;;  ;;  ;;  ;; ;;   ;;;;;;    ;;       ;;   ;;  ;;       ;;   ;;  ;; ; ;;  ;;;;;
;;  ;;      ;;      ;; ;;             ;;       ;;   ;;  ;;       ;;   ;;  ;;  ;;;     ;;
;;;;;  ;;;;;;  ;;      ;; ;;             ;;;;;;;  ;;;;;;;  ;;;;;;;  ;;;;;;;  ;;   ;;  ;;;;;


Which much to my surprise compiles just fine.

(;) is a null statement and usually compiles to nothing at all.

A compiler I was working with for programming MSP430 microcontrollers would interpret a null statement as an actual NOP instruction. If I had pasted that thing into our code a lot of people would have been mad.

Edited by TheComet

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Hah. I imagine that in a microcontroller being able to insert NOPs makes sense though (since it's probably something directly controlling hardware).

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I ran across that stackoverflow thread years ago I think, and if memory serves my favorite (though there are so many gems in there!) was something along the lines of

// I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

Sometimes I'm also partial to something along the lines of

// What kind of idiot wrote this?
// Oh, it was me.

I'm rather satisfied by the fact that the company I work for has a revision control submission tracker thing that keeps track of what people think are the funniest submit comments.

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... O_o ... are the commit comments supposed to be funny?

Edited by tanzanite7

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/**
* For the brave souls who get this far: You are the chosen ones,
* the valiant knights of programming who toil away, without rest,
* fixing our most awful code. To you, true saviors, kings of men,
* I say this: never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down,
* never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry,
* never gonna say goodbye. Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.
*/

Wow.  The rickrolling comment.  Awesome!

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Note to my future self:

// FIXME - I wrote this file at 4am, re-read EVERYTHING


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Saw this from a friend at University the other day:

def heuristic(self, node):
#360 no comment
return sum((lambda m, l :map(lambda s: m-s, l))(*(lambda l : (max(l), l))(
list(map(sum, map(lambda l: map(lambda e: e[1], l),
map(lambda l: filter(lambda e: e[0], l),
map(lambda l: zip(*l), zip(node, self.lists))))))))) #sorry


He said that his eyes bled but he felt a strange satisfaction.

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I've been pondering this one for a bit, not really meant to be funny, just something my brain churned out from the deep dark recesses of

my puberdescent teenage mind.

'''This code is utterly useless, I don't even know why you're trying to figure it out, it doesn't work!
If your still reading this comment that means your soul must have been eaten by the horrendous
clusterfuck that created the prior class of 123 lines which tangles everything so horridly it is
incomprehensible. Don't even try and read what's below because all the comments are trolls
and the code will require TWO supercomputers which have been given steroids to figure out.
You will never make it out of here.

May the computer gods and their goats bless your geeky soul, and may your brain not melt into goo.'''


I am seriously considering sticking this into an old BASH file I have. I dont remember the format for multi-line comments but a little research will turn something up.

EDIT: It appears despite me only being 16, programming is already slowly driving me insane.

Edited by Clockworking

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Saw this from a friend at University the other day:

def heuristic(self, node):
#360 no comment
return sum((lambda m, l :map(lambda s: m-s, l))(*(lambda l : (max(l), l))(
list(map(sum, map(lambda l: map(lambda e: e[1], l),
map(lambda l: filter(lambda e: e[0], l),
map(lambda l: zip(*l), zip(node, self.lists))))))))) #sorry


He said that his eyes bled but he felt a strange satisfaction.

Functional programming is actually really easy to understand when you have experience with it, contrary to popular opinion.  It's just doing stuff to the stuff so it can stuff stuff in stuff and stuff.  Capisce?

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I've been pondering this one for a bit, not really meant to be funny, just something my brain churned out from the deep dark recesses of

my puberdescent teenage mind.

'''This code is utterly useless, I don't even know why you're trying to figure it out, it doesn't work!
If your still reading this comment that means your soul must have been eaten by the horrendous
clusterfuck that created the prior class of 123 lines which tangles everything so horridly it is
incomprehensible. Don't even try and read what's below because all the comments are trolls
and the code will require TWO supercomputers which have been given steroids to figure out.
You will never make it out of here.

May the computer gods and their goats bless your geeky soul, and may your brain not melt into goo.'''


I am seriously considering sticking this into an old BASH file I have. I dont remember the format for multi-line comments but a little research will turn something up.

EDIT: It appears despite me only being 16, programming is already slowly driving me insane.

Maybe the jerk should have spent less time trying to be the next Shakespeare and refactored the code.  Sheesh.

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I've been pondering this one for a bit, not really meant to be funny, just something my brain churned out from the deep dark recesses of

my puberdescent teenage mind.

'''This code is utterly useless, I don't even know why you're trying to figure it out, it doesn't work!
If your still reading this comment that means your soul must have been eaten by the horrendous
clusterfuck that created the prior class of 123 lines which tangles everything so horridly it is
incomprehensible. Don't even try and read what's below because all the comments are trolls
and the code will require TWO supercomputers which have been given steroids to figure out.
You will never make it out of here.

May the computer gods and their goats bless your geeky soul, and may your brain not melt into goo.'''


I am seriously considering sticking this into an old BASH file I have. I dont remember the format for multi-line comments but a little research will turn something up.

EDIT: It appears despite me only being 16, programming is already slowly driving me insane.

Maybe the jerk should have spent less time trying to be the next Shakespeare and refactored the code.  Sheesh.

Well yeah, i could have done that too, but it seemed more fun to write a uselessly long comment for a really badly coded program that will most likely never make it onto the internet.

Edited by Clockworking