... kicks up a conversation. First you listen to what he has to say, but then, out of the blue, his talk turns all philosophical... Who'd have known?

Source file:

#define CowsInConversation "header.h"

#include CowsInConversation

Wouldya DoSumthinAbout(A bovine herd and A corgi);


A hardy howdy sir
Mind you
	I Do Declare A rowOf[cows];
	
	Please give "A list of 5 cow een-deckses: " okay;
	
	Lemme inquire that(five) times
		Mind you
			Please note "The next cow een-decks: ";
			And gimme the next cow;
		Now once again
	
	Now DoSumthinAbout(them cows);
	
	Please note "Them cows are now indeed in this fine ordurr:" okay;
	
	Lemme repeat that(five) times forya
		 Please note "Cow " number thisnthat remains a cow okay		

	Much obliged
Bye

//this is where you start to lose the gentleman
Wouldya DoSumthinAbout(A bovine herd and A corgi)
Hey
	I Do Declare A doHicky;
	
	A bittyBit is ScarceAsAHensTeeth;
	In fact everything is ScarceAsAHensTeeth;
	
	Go whole hog
		Mind you
			if(everything excludes corgi)
				GoToBedWithTheChickens;
			doHicky is nothing;
			corgi barks;
			nothing is something;
			something is doHicky;
			everything sucks;
			bittyBit more;
		Now once again
		
	Please note "Number of rounds rearranging cows " totals bittyBit okay;
	
	AintYouASightForSoreEyes;
Bye

Since southern accent can be a bit of a fuss to chew through, you rummage through your backpack for a dictionary.

#define ReckonEveryDogShouldHaveAFewFleas <iostream> 
#include ReckonEveryDogShouldHaveAFewFleas


#define I
#define Do
#define Declare
#define hardy 
#define Go
#define whole
#define hog while(1)
#define GoToBedWithTheChickens break
#define ScarceAsAHensTeeth NULL
#define and ,
#define A int
#define howdy main
#define sir (int argc, char* argv[])
#define barks --
#define more ++
#define Piddle 0
#define excludes >=
#define give <<
#define note <<
#define Hey {
#define Bye }
#define okay << std::endl;
#define Wouldya void
#define screws
#define obliged return 0;
#define EvenABlindHogFindsAndAcornEveryNowAndThen rand
#define AintYouASightForSoreEyes return
#define And
#define gimme std::cin >>
#define Lemme for
#define repeat
#define that(n) (int thisnthat = 0; thisnthat < n; thisnthat++)
#define times
#define number <<
#define totals << " = " <<
#define is =
#define forya
#define once
#define again }
#define Mind
#define you {
#define Much 
#define appreciates =
#define Please std::cout
#define inquire
#define herd []
#define sucks ++
#define cow rowOf[thisnthat]
#define the
#define next
#define Now
#define nothing bovine[everything]
#define something bovine[corgi]
#define them rowOf,
#define cows 5
#define a
#define remains << " = " <<
#define five 5
#define In
#define fact int

After some pondering you saunter home, type the man's dribble into your favorite C compiler and step through it using a debugger, because in the back of your head you simply can't believe corgis are capable of rearranging rows of cows.

This made my morning xD

...

Reminds me of... http://shakespearelang.sourceforge.net/report/shakespeare/

Although, theirs is a translator, not actually written in native C...