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critique wanted for one liners in a game.... (funny / not funny / good / bad / shoot me)

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Hi there, so we are working on a new game that will feature a sci-fi pirate setting with plenty of humour in the game. After some thoughts on some one-liners that will feature in the game after certain encounters depending on if you win or lose or if a draw,

Some are lifted from films and tweeked a bit and some are pirate sayings that are (hopefully) updated a bit more sci-fi?

NO QUARTER GIVEN!
A PIRATES LIFE FOR ME!
WHO NEEDS HONOR WHEN YOU HAVE A SHIP FULL OF LOOT?
OFTEN IMITATED NEVER EQUALED
STRIKE ME DOWN AND I'LL BECOME MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE.
THE PIRATE CODE IS MORE WHAT YOU'D CALL 'GUIDELINES' THAN ACTUAL RULES
YOU CARGO BAY CUBICLE COSMIC CRUSTACEAN
SON OF A FREEZE DRIED BISCUIT EATER!
IN SPACE, NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU CRY
SMOKING... YOUR SHIP I MEAN.
DONT FIGHT FAIR, FIGHT PIRATE!
AHOY MATEY!
SAVVY? NO SAVVY?
DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES
EAT BURNING LASER BEAMS YOU SCALLYWAG
SCURVEY PANDORIAN DOG!
THE ONLY LAW HERE IS GRAVITY
STOP BLOWING HOLES IN ME SHIP!
YOU WONT LIKE ME WHEN IM ANGRY AND BOY AM I ANGRY!
THIS IS ALL YOU'VE GOT?
I'LL GET YOU BACK. BUT I'LL GIVE YOU A HEAD START WHILE I FIX MY SHIP
NO HONOR AMONGST THIEVES!
THIS IS SUPPLY AND DEMAND. I DEMAND YOUR GOLD AND YOU SUPPLY IT!
WHY ARE WE ALWAYS OUT OF RUM?
DONT MAKE IT SO EASY NEXT TIME FOR ME?
YOUR SHIP LOOKS SO PRETTY WHEN ITS IN FLAMES
THAT LOOKS LIKE ITS GOING TO BE EXPENSIVE TO FIX
OOOOOW.... THAT LOOKED PAINFUL FROM HERE!
EVER CONSIDERED A DIFFERENT CAREER? YOU MAKE A RUBBISH PIRATE!
YOU MAKE A POOR PIRATE BUT A GOOD TARGET
SHIELDS. A CAPTAINS BEST FRIEND
COME FIND ME WHEN YOU'VE LEARNT HOW TO FIGHT
REVENGE IS BEST SERVED IN THE COLD VACUM OF SPACE
NEXT TIME YOU'RE GOING TO PAY
SHOOT FIRST, THEN SHOOT SOME MORE
IM GOING TO OPEN UP A CAN OF WHOOP-ASS SO BIG YOU'LL THINK IT WAS A BLACK HOLE
DID YOU SEE THAT? BECAUSE IM NOT DOING IT AGAIN!
WALK LIKE A PIRATE, TALK LIKE A PIRATE, SHOOT LIKE A PARROT
YOU LOOK MORE LIKE A PEACOCK THAN A PIRATE
THIS ISNT THE LAST YOU'LL HEAR OF ME!
IVE SEEN GARBAGE HULKS BETTER LOOKING THAN YOUR SHIP
HELLO ME PRETTIES
DONT RESPECT ME, FEAR ME
STOP RUNNING AWAY, YOU'RE HARDER TO HIT WHEN YOU KEEP MOVING
HAHAHA! YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT ME?
ONLY WENCHES CRY... AND YOU BE CRYING
NOTHING LOOKS QUITE AS GOOD AS OTHER PEOPLES LOOT
PREPARE TO BE BORDED!
SO YOU WANT A REMATCH? YOU MIGHT BE MORE STUPID THAN YOU LOOK
TIME FOR A GOOD KEELHAULING
YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF REPLICATED RUM
WANT TO PARLEY NOW?
TAKE WHAT YOU CAN AND GIVE NOTHING BACK
IM COMING FOR YOU, OR SOMEONE THAT LOOKS A LOT LIKE YOU WITH A SIMILAR NAME.
YOU CALL YOURSELF A CAPTAIN? YOU COULDNT CAPTAIN A GIRLS NETBALL TEAM
WE CAME, WE SAW, WE KICKED YOUR @$$!
ITS GOOD TO BE THIS BAD
BEING EVIL JUST COMES NATURALLY
DRINK UP ME HEARTIES... WE'VE ALL THE PLUNDER!
YOU COULDNT HIT A SPACE STATION WITH SHOOTING LIKE THAT
TAKE FROM THE RICH AND KEEP FOR ME
YOUR EGO IS AS BIG AS A GALAXY, PITY YOU CANT BACK IT UP?
YOUR HEAP OF JUNK JUST GOT A FREE MAKEOVER... YOU CAN THANK ME LATER
Nothing personal.Its just... good business.
THE BIGGER YOU ARE, THE EASIER YOU ARE TO HIT!
YOU ARE LIKE YOUR SHIP, A RELIC THAT SHOULD BE RETIRED
YOU HAVE A PARTICULAR SET OF SKILLS... SADLY NONE ARE MUCH HELP RIGHT NOW
ALL THAT GLITTERS... IS MINE!
HAVE THAT BROADSIDE UP YOUR REAR!
AVAST YE BILGE SUCKING BLAGGARD
NO QUARTER GIVEN!
DEPLOY THE FRIGGING LASER!
LETS NOT RESORT TO NAME CALLING YOU GUTTER SNAKE
YOU SIR, HAVE THE BACKBONE OF A JELLYFISH!
NEVER SEEN SUCH A SORRY CREW. YOU COULDNT BEAT A HALF DEAD SPACE SLUG!
YOU CANT TAKE THE SKY FROM ME
YOU JUST MADE YOUR FIRST AND LAST MISTAKE!
BLOW THE MAN DOWN THEY SAY, BUT ID RATHER BLOW YOU UP
A POX ON YOU AND ALL YOUR KIND
YOU'RE NOTHING BUT LUNAR SHARK BAIT
OUTGUNNED, OUTFOUGHT AND OUTTHOUGHT
NEVER TRUST A PIRATE
IM A BLACK HEARTED SCOUNDREL
CALL THAT A SHIP?
THIS FLAG SAYS I WILL FIGHT UNTIL ONLY MY BONES REMAIN
I THINK OF YOU AS A FLYING LOOTBOX
THAT GOLD LOOKED HEAVY. I DID YOU A FAVOUR BUY TAKING IT
YOU LOOK LIKE A PIRATE BUT YOU FIGHT LIKE A LITTLE GIRL?
I HAVE MORE SKILL IN MY LITTLE FINGER THAN YOUR WHOLE CREW
YOU SHOOT LIKE A MAN WITH 2 EYEPATCHES ON
WHO ARE YOU...? NOPE NEVER HEARD OF YOU
DO YOU WIPE YOUR BUM WITH THAT HOOK?
fortune eludes those who are ill-equipped
If I don't kill a man every now and then, they forget who I am!
THIS HAPPENS WHEN YOU FLY TOO CLOSE TO THE SUN. YOU GET BURNED!
If you had a sister and a dog... I would choose the dog.
CURSE YOUR SUDDEN BUT INEVITABLE BETRAYAL
YOU CANT WIN THEM ALL
FIGHT ME AGAIN WHEN YOU CAN GROW A BEARD
MY GRANNY'S MORE SCARY THAN YOU LOT
GUTTER STRUMPET
GUTLESS KNAVE!
NO CRYING OVER STOLEN GOLD!
FIRE IN THE HOLE... AND THERES A FEW OF THEM IN YOUR SHIP!

And yes, we know that some of these are bad... but thats supposed to be in the humour side of things, so its so bad its good (maybe?)

Ben@Weedo Game
 

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Generally, they all seem like something a sci-fi pirate would say. However, are you planning to have voice acting in the game? If so, that would probably give us more of an idea of how each line would be delivered in your game. 

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What makes them funny isn't the lines them self but how they are delivered.

It's like telling jokes, even if you know a great one it still takes some amount of skill to get people to laugh.

 

The lines them self are all cringe worthy and that was enough to make me smile. Reminds me of the humour found in Dwarf fortress.

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Agreed with the rest of the posts. Already goog content from the ones I read. They would be good as they are, and even better if voice acted. Additionally, I don't think they all have to be funny, as it provides variance overall. If you always know the one liners are going to make you laugh, you don't get to be surprised when one is really hilarious. I myself really like when I hear a one liner for the first time, and then think: That one was really good! I have to hear it again!, and I sometimes end up repeating boring tasks in the game just to hear it again.

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