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Telemachos

Need some critic over a game trailer storyboard

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Hello

We're working on a project since a year, and recently, to participate into a contest we need a game video/trailer.

It could be a simple gameplay video, but I saw that games with polished trailers were really advantaged last years.

I never did videos before, so I wrote this after seeing some pro trailers.

The main points of our game are:

-A strange and well written setting

-A strong freedom of action

-turn per turn battle system, close to tabletops RPGs 

-a strong race/class and multiclassing strategy (6 races and 21 classes) for team members (think FF Tactics)

I wanted them to be visible in the video

Also, we don't have a lot of material for the videos, as we didn't started any form of promo for the moment (basically that contest will be our official announcement)

We have: 

-Concept arts

-Ingame videos

-We could draw 2-3 promo art for the video

-Hopefully we will have the main game theme for the music

 

Here is the storyboard:

 

(Picture - Creation of Adam by Michelangelo)

(Text)

Each world is the mirror of the God who created it.

But how would look a world created by a god...

 

(First promo art - a view of a game location)

...who thought that the Metro is the finest human creation?

 

(First video - Adventure)

(Text just before the first video)

Explore a huge and breathtaking world

(Text just after the first video)

Would you be a Trader? An Explorer? A pirate?

 

(Optional)

(Concept arts of characters)

(Text) Decide who will be your trustworty friend...

...and who will be your deadly foe

 

(second video - combat system)

(Optional - text during video)

A turn per turn system close to tabletops RPGs

 

(Different concepts art of classes and races)

(Text)

Meet your teamembers from X races

And choose their ability from 21 classes.

 

(Logo animation on the second promo art)

XXX release the XXX

 

Here are my questions:

-What do you think overall?

-Should I keep things labelled optionnal?

-I've tried as hard as possible to avoid text/picture/video overlaps. That something that I strongly dislike on some trailers because you can't read and watch at the same time, Do you think I'm right?

-I've putted the game name and logo only at the end of the video, do you think that's an error?

-Do you think that the video is showing our strong points enough?

-A last question: gameplay wise we have 6 different races in the game. However it's the male/female variation of three basic races. In two cases they are looking really differently, in the last one it's basically humans. Do you think it's wiser to speak about 6 races, 3 races, or just not mention that topic.

 

Thank you for your critic

Edited by Telemachos

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Hum, nobody at all?

Maybe somebody know a place where I can get this thing criticized? Or some tutos for commercial use trailers? I didn't any any outside of very basic ones on the for now. 

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I'm confused, did you try to link pictures to your original post?  I don't see any pictures.  You might get more critics in the Art forum if you show case some art to critic.

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There is no pictures for the moment, as we have to draw them for the trailer I want to have a good storyboard (just text about what's in the video).

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On 12/21/2017 at 2:51 PM, Telemachos said:

Hello

We're working on a project since a year, and recently, to participate into a contest we need a game video/trailer.

It could be a simple gameplay video, but I saw that games with polished trailers were really advantaged last years.

I never did videos before, so I wrote this after seeing some pro trailers.

The main points of our game are:

-A strange and well written setting

-A strong freedom of action

-turn per turn battle system, close to tabletops RPGs 

-a strong race/class and multiclassing strategy (6 races and 21 classes) for team members (think FF Tactics)

I wanted them to be visible in the video

Also, we don't have a lot of material for the videos, as we didn't started any form of promo for the moment (basically that contest will be our official announcement)

We have: 

-Concept arts

-Ingame videos

-We could draw 2-3 promo art for the video

-Hopefully we will have the main game theme for the music

 

Here is the storyboard:

 

(Picture - Creation of Adam by Michelangelo)

(Text)

Each world is the mirror of the God who created it.

But how would look a world created by a god...

 

(First promo art - a view of a game location)

...who thought that the Metro is the finest human creation?

 

(First video - Adventure)

(Text just before the first video)

Explore a huge and breathtaking world

(Text just after the first video)

Would you be a Trader? An Explorer? A pirate?

 

(Optional)

(Concept arts of characters)

(Text) Decide who will be your trustworty friend...

...and who will be your deadly foe

 

(second video - combat system)

(Optional - text during video)

A turn per turn system close to tabletops RPGs

 

(Different concepts art of classes and races)

(Text)

Meet your teamembers from X races

And choose their ability from 21 classes.

 

(Logo animation on the second promo art)

XXX release the XXX

 

Here are my questions:

-What do you think overall?

-Should I keep things labelled optionnal?

-I've tried as hard as possible to avoid text/picture/video overlaps. That something that I strongly dislike on some trailers because you can't read and watch at the same time, Do you think I'm right?

-I've putted the game name and logo only at the end of the video, do you think that's an error?

-Do you think that the video is showing our strong points enough?

-A last question: gameplay wise we have 6 different races in the game. However it's the male/female variation of three basic races. In two cases they are looking really differently, in the last one it's basically humans. Do you think it's wiser to speak about 6 races, 3 races, or just not mention that topic.

 

Thank you for your critic

I think this is a good start--it's a bit hard to gauge without any visuals (gameart, concept art, etc.) but I think you have the makings of a solid trailer. I would keep the things you labelled as optional -- seeing characters and combat system is important if they are available. 

(Hit enter too quickly lol). I think you made a good call not overlapping video footage and text, as it does make it hard to read. Once you create a version of the video, you'll be able to identify parts that need to be added. I wouldn't mention the races, as it gets into a bit too much detail. You can add this info in the summary section. Good luck!

Edited by katastrophic88
Typos

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