Is the video meant to act as a intro for the game mechanics? Then it's fine.

If it's supposed to be a trailer for your game, I didn't get that impression. There is zero information regarding the background. What's the story? Who is the main character? What exactly is going on? Is this a puzzle game?

12 minutes ago, Kai Keeper said:

The story is basically just you are a robot with no objective, so you need to travel to space stations to look for your objective, while in those space stations you need to solve puzzles to progress, The emphasis of the game is using the space connector to solve puzzles. Some people said it was too long for an intro on steam so I made it shorter.
Do you think another longer video explaining the space connector/puzzle solving part is needed?

I looked at your other thread, and you're planning to release this on steam. Is this a commercial game, or free to play?

I can provide some advice but it depends on if you're financially invested in the release.

10 hours ago, Kai Keeper said:

It is a commercial game, but the price is only gonna be around 5 USD(or lower), basically I'm the only person working on this project for years and I'm pretty broke now, so I don't think I would say I'm financially invested.

The advice I'm giving is only my opinion and based on the fact you're intending on profiting from the game, and that you're working without a budget.

Considering the focus of the game is solving puzzles and not an actual progressive story, you need to sell a few things within your trailer.

1. How many puzzles are there

2. What kind of puzzles does the game have (showcase your top 5)

3. How does one solve these puzzles (mechanics)

4. Showcasing your most interesting puzzles and features in quick snap shots. Why should anyone play this game or buy it? Sell it.

When your video starts up, you need to try to sell your game within the first 30 seconds. I wouldn't make a trailer longer than 2 minutes and 30 seconds, but I personally think trailers should be only a minute long, but regardless the main goal is to sell your game in the shortest time possible while building up momentum. Keep in mind that you can have several videos on your steam store page, but your game trailer should be your first video people see. Game play videos themselves can be longer.

Depending on your ability in video editing, you can also create scenes by using pre-set cameras in your game to record from different angles (it gives a more cinematic feel), then make transitions showing various parts of the game without sticking to a single scene for too long.

As an example, if you're going to showcase points 1 through 4 within a minute, you can tell that you're not going to be having a 30 second scene where you're moving blocks around, which is good because it's more exciting to see the top 5 most interesting puzzles, and unique mechanics within short spurts as momentum builds. You also need to consider your choice of music when making a trailer. Your music needs to match the mood you're attempting to generate. The music used in the video doesn't have to be the same music in the game.

I would also change your approach with your usage of text. The green text sitting at the top doesn't match, and I personally think if you're going to advertise any information through text, it needs to be shown at eye level (center of the screen or near), then disappear so the viewer is 100% focused on what you're trying to sell them. You can make your text look better with transition effects, and animations. When you leave text on the screen it becomes a distraction.

I'm not sure how long your game is, and how much content you have, but your game looks very good. Is there a reason you're selling it for only $5 USD? There is a psychological element at play when you put your game price too low. A lot of garbage on steam is released with lower price tags in the hope that if they upload enough games that through the nickle and dime sales they will generate money by a large quantity of sales. I personally will rarely even look at a game that is $5 USD as their initial release price (not a sale price). I find that most people are not willing to search through the junk bucket on steam to find the little gems that are among the turds in the $5 or less release section.

5 hours ago, Kai Keeper said:

Thanks man, your advice is very helpful.
It is kinda hard for me to create short videos because each section takes a pretty long time(2~5mins) to solve(at least the interesting/non-tutorial ones).
The game takes about 4 hours for someone who knows how to solve all the puzzles to finish(I don't know how long a normal person who has no idea how to solve the puzzles would need). There are 8 stages, each stage is cut into sections, sections are somewhat isolated from each other, so you can only use the items within the sections to solve the puzzle and progress to the next section. However, there are secrets in each stage, and if you solve the puzzles of each section a certain way, you can get certain items/devices in a state that can help you unlock the secret area of that stage, so the whole stage itself becomes one huge section and you use all the stuff in the stage to unlock the secret area(or you could just move on to the next stage and not get the secret), each stages' secret area is unlocked in a different way, in some stages you have to find a way to move stuff across sections even though there is no trivial way, in one stage you get an additional space connector at the end, which inverts gravity but allows you to pick a key up, the secret area is right at the beginning of that stage but now you need to traverse the whole stage upside down back to the spawn without losing the key. If you gather all the secrets from each stage, you get the final ending where you discover your objective;otherwise you don't.
The reason for the low pricing is because I really don't know how I should price it But hopefully steam would give me some suggestions after I submit my build for verification. What's your suggestion for pricing?

You only need to showcase snap shots of the puzzles, not the whole thing. You can use text overlays to present tag lines for parts of the video itself, but the whole point is to show the flashy stuff, not showcase every fine detail.

The pricing thing is very tricky, but I have a personal stance on it. I price games for what they're worth in the market while trying to account for how much I need to pay in fees, taxes, ect,, and what I want to make in profit. I also don't believe lower prices generate more money in the end; I haven't seen the low-balling approach work on steam as of late because there is so much trash in these price ranges. Regardless if you set the price high or low, your marketing plan will determine your sales potential. If your game becomes a big hit, you're only hurting your potential profits by setting the price too low with the illusion people will buy it because it's only $5. I would gladly pay $15-$20 for such a game. (There are people who go shopping in a store and will pass two identical products, but one is priced low and the other is priced high, but they will buy the higher priced one because they believe more quality has been put into the product. The same can be said in reverse for people looking for a 'bargain', but is your game a "bargain" game?)

If you're just going to release the game on steam hoping to make sales without a plan to bring awareness, then it's really a waste. No matter how good your game is, without proper marketing not enough people will know it even exists to generate a reasonable amount of revenue. If you're unable to spend money on marketing, then you'll have to take a slower approach, but it takes a lot more effort and energy to generate a following and interest.