4 hours ago, dsgus said:
I've always wanted to be a game developer and now I go to the uni & the department I've always wanted in order to achieve this goal.
That's a danger sign.
4 hours ago, dsgus said:
Anyway, eventhough I get the proper education and all, I couldn't be less motivated & more clueless. I'm in a state where I think I wasted all my time to achieve my dreams doing nothing. Rarely when I feel kind of motivated to actually do something I get stuck having no idea what to do since I don't know anything. I try to watch tutorials and I don't understand what I'm doing. I've begun lots and lots of tutorials lately. I watch a couple of episodes and get confused and bored and give up.
Putting on my career counselling hat, I'm not entirely sure you actually want to develop games.
Many game developers tell stories about how they built small games and found joy in it, tell stories about when they build their first text adventure games, their mastery of tic tac toe, writing their first AI, or their first time trying to figure out what the ideal move is under given circumstances.
Why do you want to program games? Is it because you enjoy playing games? Or is it because you enjoy creating games? What is your personal reason, what is your driving force, why do you personally decide you want the job of building games?
Here are some parallels: I love to eat great food, and I enjoy cooking for myself, but I would hate to be a chef where I make everything to order all day every day. I enjoy beautiful music, and I can play several instruments reasonably well, but I would hate the job where I must practice all day and perform every night, and I hate the stress of performing on stage. I enjoy movies but have absolutely no skill as an actor and wouldn't enjoy the job. I love driving, but I have zero skills as a mechanic and zero skills if I were to try to build a car engine, those would be terrible jobs for me.
Consuming something is different from creating something, and even if I do enjoy creating something it doesn't mean I want to create the thing for my career where I do it all day, every day.
Unfortunately there are people who feel that because they enjoy playing games they want to get a career creating games. Some people follow that path even though they have no interest in creating games. You can do it, you can force yourself to become skilled at something you don't enjoy, but it will be hard to find motivation in your life.
Game programmers tend to love programming. Game programmers can (and frequently do) pass the time discussing algorithms, reminisce talking about how the code had problems with one algorithm and how one day the programmer realized another algorithm would be perfect, or discuss why one data structure is abysmal and should only be used under duress. If that isn't your passion, you should consider what things you are passionate about.
If you could do anything in the world, what would it be? When you have time on your hands (other than being entertained) what do you do? What are your hobbies? What are your passions?
I've worked with several people who described a situation much like you did. At a young age they decided they wanted to be a game developer because they enjoyed playing games. They focused on education that got the job they wanted. They pushed hard to get into the career. And when they finally got the job they discovered they were miserable. One of them loved music, was always playing guitar, and after about two years at the company announced he was going to quit games and become a music teacher. Another had the job for about six months and then said that their best experience was not making games, but was the job working in a nursery with plants as they worked their way through school, they were quitting to go work with plants again. They were so fixated on what they thought was the ideal job that they forgot to look around, to look inside themselves, and never figured out what they truly enjoyed.
There is a great book called "What Color Is Your Parachute?" that talks about it. I strongly recommend finding a copy. It's been a best-seller for decades so you can find recent editions in libraries and used book stores if you prefer that to buying it. Inside the book there is a section called the Flower Diagram. The purpose is to spend time identifying what you deeply enjoy, what you are passionate about, your most favored people environments, your most favored industry environments, your most favored living environments, and so on, and identify what can bring your own personal bliss. I suggest you get a copy and work through the exercises.
It is entirely possible that you work through the exercises and figure out that you really do love programming, that given any job in the world you would choose the job of creating software above all others, and that you're merely in a slump at the moment. In that case, wonderful. You can find ways to get through the slump but know you're on the path to your personal bliss. Or you may work through the exercises and discover your personal bliss is something else. In that case, also wonderful, you'll still be on your way to your own personal bliss.
Go get a copy of the book, read it, and figure out your own personal bliss.