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CaptainVG

Clueless on what to do?

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I am suffering from autism and based on that, I cannot do the skills that many normal would consider doing. As such, this causes me to constantly be depressed and wanting to live low.

The dream I want to achieve is to form my own company. I'm not saying this just because I want to but because I feel that to accomplish something that I am looking for, forming my own business seems to be the only real option. I also have a story that I want to make a project out of. If it is not possible to do it as a game, then atleast it should be possible to do it as a tv show.

But this disability is causing me to not be skilled in this and many others. I generally don't like people because everyone whom I talk to is annoying and it often does not get along very well even if I try to be nice.

I can't draw well so I can't create immersive sprite works for the games that I have made in game maker.

Programming is to complex and I can't seem to understand the skill very well regardless of how hard I try.

Currently, I have to go to US with my brother as means of figuring out what is best suited for me but I am too low at this point that I cannot have any hope left despite the encouragement that the whole family is offering to me.

I don't get how courses will help in what I want to do in life or anything of that matter and the company name that I have in mind is called Happy games which has a motto that says "Happy times, Happy life".

So any advice on what to do?

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1 hour ago, CaptainVG said:

So any advice on what to do?

I would suggest you seek counselling from a professional that can help you work around any disabilities you have. You have to work with what you've got and do the best that you can.

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Be patient and kind to yourself, while you work out what you want to do and find your groove.

It will take time, trial and error, perseverance and patience.

Be kind to yourself, keep things in perspective and enjoy life's journey.

Its all in how you frame it, think of your brain as the hardware, and you get to choose what software you run on it.

You can run self destructive, negative self loathing and give up.

Or you can run life is awesome V3.2 and enjoy that.

You have the power, you got this, we believe in you.

Good luck.

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@Rutin has given you an excellent advice. In addition here is my advice
My first son is heavily autistic and its a massive challenge managing him, but i won't even attempt to use the techniques we use to manage him to advice you because every autistic person is unique
What I would say is I believe every autistic person has a comfort zone, a comfort field. So possibly with the help of a professional (if available and affordable to you) find this zone, if you don't know already. Then from the simplest perspective within this zone, from the smallest unit... you can start to build something within this field 
If that field is game development, then maybe you still need to breakdown the learning process into more simplified processes. Or maybe you need to adapt the learning process to what suits you best, possibly with the help of a professional
Establishing your own company is a great idea but you need be able to get on with people first otherwise if you find them annoying and treat them likewise, you won't be able to retain them. So probably this shouldn't be your immediate next step

If you want to tell your story there are simpler means of getting it out into the public. For instance you could write a book, or have your own YouTube channel and publish a series of Vlogs. In fact this would be, in my opinion, the  easiest means for you

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1 hour ago, grumpyOldDude said:

What I would say is I believe every autistic person has a comfort zone, a comfort field. So possibly with the help of a professional (if available and affordable to you) find this zone, if you don't know already. Then from the simplest perspective within this zone, from the smallest unit... you can start to build something within this field 

I can see where you're getting at. Maybe I will seek help in this matter. Because from my first year of work, I worked as a game designer for two years and then my position just got into game testing so I have overall broken into the game industry atleast 4 years.

But despite that, it did not get me anywhere as such.

1 hour ago, grumpyOldDude said:

If that field is game development, then maybe you still need to breakdown the learning process into more simplified processes. Or maybe you need to adapt the learning process to what suits you best, possibly with the help of a professional

I have tried this with game maker studio. While the coding is simple, I know only so little of the basics and I constantly break my head figuring out what to do to execute something complex. Even when I end up making games, they still need good quality art which I can't do and am not able to get resources on finding the art as I have tried so many times and it did not work.

So as a result of low esteem, I put game maker on hold. Still know a thing or two about it though....

1 hour ago, grumpyOldDude said:

Establishing your own company is a great idea but you need be able to get on with people first otherwise if you find them annoying and treat them likewise, you won't be able to retain them. So probably this shouldn't be your immediate next step

And I get that. But the thing is, unless I am fine with building someone's idea to reality or consantly reporting bugs that are either minor or major, establishing my own company seems to be the only way that I feel I can achieve something because I have worked on this industry for four years and I cannot seem to get anywhere. I get that time is of essence but at this rate...I'm 27 and I am having difficulty understanding coding and understanding art or life initself. Forming a company would make my vision work.

I am currently taking a break and am spending time with my brother on some vacation for who knows how long it will last. 

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Regarding art, you might be able to buy pre-made assets, if feasible--or perhaps even find some freeware ones. They might not exactly match your vision, but they may at least provide a means of moving forward with that element of the project.

(As a starting point, it looks like itch.io has an "assets" section that you could look at, and it looks like a fair few of those might be free!)

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20 hours ago, CaptainVG said:

1. establishing my own company seems to be the only way ...  and I am having difficulty understanding coding and understanding art or life initself. Forming a company would make my vision work.

2. I am currently taking a break and am spending time with my brother on some vacation for who knows how long it will last.

1. You can make your games yourself, as physical games (board game, card game, paper RPG, etc.). That's a good way to go for non-programmer designers. The game's concept can then be demonstrated convincingly to potential partners. You'll need to figure out how to deal with people, given your autism. 

2. I hope you can make good use of the time to get better at dealing with people. Going to another country can be eye-opening and also claustrophobic; like a wise man once said, "everywhere you go, there you are." Your surroundings may be different, but you're still you.

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I own several companies (some are even profitable) and work as an executive during my day job.

 

If you don't like dealing with people, you absolutely don't want to run a company. I've spoken with people for 6 different vendors/companies in the past 2 days alone. 

 

As for how to make a game as a solo dev, I recommend this series to anyone with no experience who wants to start. 

https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLtpNaPTkjdL5G4ytDfvakn6VrtATqPJtS

 

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5 hours ago, conq said:

If you don't like dealing with people, you absolutely don't want to run a company. I've spoken with people for 6 different vendors/companies in the past 2 days alone. 

So then how about the idea of hiring someone to run a business? Can that work too? And besides even if I am fine with dealing people, my skills are very low to the point that it is outright impossible.

 

 

Edited by CaptainVG

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@CaptainVG   Hey there! I'm Jill and to me it sounds like you need a partner in order to bring your ideas into fruition. I'm from NJ but I'm unemployed and seriously interested in finding a project to dive into. I've had two companies of my own so I am familiar with the in's and out's of starting and running a business. I say if we can dream it than we can surely make it happen.

As far as your condition goes, we all have our own conditions and while I am familiar with your condition and how much of a bummer it can be I am here to tell you that in my corner we would not ever allow your condition to over power you. Where there's a will there's a way and that is just a fact of life.

So if your ready then definitely reach out to me.

Hope to hear from you soon.

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