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grine

my idea for an original rpg; please help

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Hi. This is my first post here and I'd like to ask you guys if you like my idea for an RPG, instead of the usual cliched stuff you see. Bye the way, this idea isn't finished and i'd like any ideas or criticism. When this game's finished, I'm going to put it on my website for download the address for my site is by the way, i need advice. Once you've read this full article and replied, can you please tell me what programming language I should do this in, and what free compiler i should use (it has to be one that compiles under Windows). the languages i know are: HTML C C++ java-script Perl Okay. The game's set in another reality, and you belong to a race called the Twevens. You are an 11 year old named Motu, and are the general's son. Your country and another country (Karochiae) are at war with each other and you don't know why. Anyway, a bomb attack from the Karochiaens wipes out the Tweven capital city, killing millions, including your father. Fortunately, you and about 100 other Twevens escape. You and 7 friends ride a boat. It crashes and sinks, and you find a sunken Karochiaen submarine. You board it, and find 100 years worth of food, liquid and air. For the next 3 years, you and your friends create weapons and train for a rebel assault on the Karochiaens. When you're ready, you are unable to find a way to the surface, since you don't know how to pilot a submarine. Suddenly though, the ship starts moving to the surface. You then find out that the submarine is AI programmed, and has psychic abilities and knew what you wanted and were doing. The submarine had developed free will and hated it's masters and hid itself in the depths of the ocean, and wants revenge for being enslaved. When you land, you discover that the Karochiaens have taken over your country. You also find out that there are several resistance factions fighting the Karochiaens. You get captured by one group, who believe you to be traitors, as you were riding a Karochiaen sub. They imprison you in their underground base, stealing your weapons. Weeks later, a Karochiaen force assaults the base, takes it over, and imprisons the resistance faction that caught you. The faction then realises that you're not allies with the Karochiaens. You and the others plan and eventually you capture the base again. Later an elite Karochiaen team attack and kill 3 members of your team and 10 members of the other team, leaving a total of 8 people on your side (Motu included.) You form one alliance and go into hiding in a complex cave system at the beach. Fortunately, before you left you took back your weapons. Motu goes and spies on a Karochiaen town and finds out about a small island to the northeast where the surviving Twevens live. You and 4 others manage to hijack a cargo ship headed for another country (i forget the name of this country) and after a few months, arrive at the island. You spy on the people andare shocked to see such disgusting slums where only a few dozen people live. You assume the others died. On your way home, there is terrible weather and 3 of you get terribly sick (later they get better). Anyway, when you get home, you plan to go back and train the people to fight, so a major battle can begin, an equivalent of D-day. When you tell the others at home this, they think it's a good idea, but only one of your group can go, because everyone else is sick (Motu included). The chosen one goes and doesn't come back. When you go into town to spy on people you find that the Karochiaen army have launched a missile onto the island at the same time as the chosen one was their. Your group is saddened. Anyway, I haven't decided what goes here but there is an important plot twist that explains why this war is occuring. You see, it turns out that your species, the Twevens, are aliens. And the reason you look so similar to the Karochiaens (except for skin color) is because back when your species entered the planet, some Karochiaen females were raped, creating a cross-breed. Then it turns out that the Karochiaens didn't want to share land with the original breed of Twevens (this was about 900 years ago). The Karochiaens forced the Twevens to stay on a little group of islands. The Twevens didn't want this, and retaliated by threatening to kill an important head of government of the Karochiaens. Then a war broke out and has been continuing for many years.... Anyway, Motu decides that both races were at wrong and spends time feeling confused, not sure what side he belongs to. It also turns out that since only a dozen or so people lived on the island, there is another island where Twevens live. That's all I've though of so far. Please reply to this. I need some help with plotting this. BTW, the battles in this won't be random, as not many people like random battles. If you invent a time machine and travel back and forward through time, what would happen if you travelled to the time when the Universe doesn''t exist anymore? Edited by - grine on January 10, 2002 5:50:46 PM

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ok, if i were playing this game.. there would
be alot of questions i''d ask myself..
first and foremost.. why?
why are the countries at war?
what is the objective of the game?
how in the hell is there a boat that we escape on
and a submarine just waiting for us..
not to mention:
how did i get in the submarine (as it''d depressurize
and fill up with water the minute you opened a hatch).
how can you fill 100 years worth of food liquid ect
on a submarine?
more importantly.. how do you train a ''rebel resistance''
with only 7 people in 3 years?
did they pro-create?
dunno.. just some of the questions that would be running
through my head.
when you ''finalize'' your plot, you should think of some
key elements to it:

#1) there HAS to be a point. and the point must be clear.
from start to finish, the point must not waver (unless
there is an interesting plot twist that deems things necessary,
but not twisty enough to make the player question the entire
first half of the game). If the point is to avenge your
father and take your kingdom back.. i dont care how much
depth is in between, the point is still cliche''d.

#2) in games, realism is a very flexible thing. you can bend
the player''s imagination to accept whatever implausible act
that you have occuring.. this is totaly acceptable.. but
you should have some sort of reason behind it.
you simply cant say "well, the boat sank, the ship was there,
we had plenty of food and water, so now lets go kick the crap
out of the bad guys" it leaves the player creating his own
explainations as to why things are happening. by the time
something IS explained, the player is so lost in his own
defenition of your reality that it really doesnt matter anymore.

as for game programming, you might try C out.. its fairly simple
to learn. its like othello.. a minute to learn, a lifetime to master.. (or 4 years of university studies and a few on the job years)..

anyway, best of luck to ya.


-eldee
;another space monkey;

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Guest Anonymous Poster
Original perhaps because it sounded like you came up with this in a few hours.. or less.

Boat sinks and you swim to a submarine... but cant get back out?

You swam into it to begin with... hello?

7 people escape a missle attack?... what about all the boats allready at sea?

100 years of food?... who does that and why?... lets consider that alone for just a moment.

lets say you eat two MRE''s (Meals Ready to Eat) a day at the very least. A case contains 24. so one case contains 12 days of food per person.
365/12 = roughly 30... so 30 cases to last a year... per person
thats 210 cases for all 7 per year... for one hundred years and thats 21,000 cases of MRE''s

thats alot of food, for a submarine...

the rest of your plot is just as unbelievable.

Ild rethink what you want.

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ok, like mention above, there are many question involving the game like why is there a war and so on.

but what really puzzles me is quiet frankly.. when does the game start actually, what kinda perpective of the game (first/third person view or the normal Diablo kinda view) and why on earth such a weird story(no offence)??? The starting was nice and all, but the submarine part umm....sucks really. As you go through the game, why on earth does Motu and his few compatriots get sick? I mean, if there were submarines with AI(and capable of choosing who to hate and like), I''m sure they dont use lameass cargo ships available in thhis current time(i mean seriously, compare the submarines advanceness to a cargo ship that is soo lame that the people on it can even get seasick). so change that part to something more realistic. Other than that, it was preety ok.

oh and use C++.



good luck in your adventures!

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grine: try to put your story into the classic 3 act structure,

Beginning - Motu''s life gets drastically changed,

Middle - Motu and gang find a hidden place and build their meager strength into an elite fighting force, but something terrible happens...

End - Motu finds a way to solve the problem and after an epic battle gets his life back together.


Try structuring your story like the above and see how it goes, but don''t forget what the others said about having a reason behind each action (unless its blatantly obvious).

Re-post when your done.

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quote:
Original post by grine
For the next 3 years, you and your friends create weapons and train for a rebel assault on the Karochiaens. When you''re ready, you are unable to find a way to the surface, since you don''t know how to pilot a submarine. Suddenly though, the ship starts moving to the surface. You then find out that the submarine is AI programmed, and has psychic abilities and knew what you wanted and were doing. The submarine had developed free will and hated it''s masters and hid itself in the depths of the ocean, and wants revenge for being enslaved


I didn''t read the rest, or other peoples responses, but I think this idea would be better if the Karochiaens programmed the sub to come to the surface, and they take your weapons and enslave you and you have to find more stuff out.

That would be interesting. Almost-impossible situations are great in RPGs.

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thanks heaps for your help. i''m updating the plot now and when it''s finished i''ll post it here.



If you invent a time machine and travel back and forward through time, what would happen if you travelled to the time when the Universe doesn''''t exist anymore?

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black_mage_s said:-

"No offense, but could your game be any more cliched?
This has to have been done a million times"

True, but the "new" star trek series has started and I could easily say the same for that, except they''re professionals and he''s just starting out...

I think this forum is best used for guidance regarding story structure, and grammar, ie, the idea may suck, but lets try and improve it rather than bash it...

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sorry, ive become somewhat angered about certain people who have interviewed me for certain jobs and now i feel like going on a certain kind of spree which may or may not involve killing.

its not a bad idea, just a bad day

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