The room was black, but spinning. Spinning? Shit, I''ve been drugged! The halogen lights danced in curvy lines above as I made the slightest movements of my eyes. I tried to move my hands, but they wouldn''t budge. I couldn''t see what had been done with them, because of my bullk, but it felt as if ropes had been tied around them. It seemed a bit cold. It was only then It dawned on me that I wasn''t wearing any clothes. I felt as if it would be not so wise to scream for help, when the black woman came trotting in, also naked. Had I missed the loss of my own virginity?? Had I been drugged when this happened?
"Hey sleepy head! I''m surprised you''re awake! I mean, after 10 times!! You''re an animal!"
"Huh? Untie me please." I said.
"''Tie me,'' ''Untie me''" Sheesh make up your mind.
She untied me, and I tried to get up, but I was too dizzy. It was then that she said, "

I''ve got to go. My number''s on the pad next to the bed. Call me?" I mumbled some kind of affirmative, and heard her footsteps recede from the room.
After a while, my stomach ground to a halt, and I got up. I was in

a fancy vegas hotel room. I went and looked out the window, and guessed that I was on roughly the 13th floor. Looking down at the street, I noticed a black van pull up, and a bunch of dark figures jump out and...

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"When I have a problem on an Nvidia, I assume that it is my fault. With anyone else''s drivers, I assume it is their fault" - John Carmack

Cried as I felt the pangs of hunger set in. It''s really sad, but in people of my condition, hunger isn''t normal. It always hurts like someone sticking sewing needles in my gut. I HAD to go in and sit down. Was my stomach going to be the master of me for the rest of my life? After about 10 minutes of self pity, and doubt, I got a grip on myself and walked in. That had never happened to me before. I had never even given a second thought about eating. That woman must have looped me up with something good. I looked at my arms, as if I could discern that a needle had indeed penetrated my skin. But, even if it did, I could not find it among all the other pimples I had on my skin. So, I gave up, and waited for the waitress to seat me. After seating the two people in front of me, she said, "I''m sorry sir, it''s our policy to not serve people of your uhm enormous girth."
"Look lady," I said, "Either you seat me now, or I will be back with my lawyer." (an idle threat, but it usually worked.)
"Okay sir," she said as she grabbed a menu. "just a second."
Then she

no, that I was actually on mars! I couldnt believe it, how screwed I am... But then I started thinking of the possibilities! First man from earth on mars! All the fame! All the people knowing where i live! But then the thought of the FBI coming to arrest me for *hacking* into Microsoft. I soon came to reality. I got myself a beer, started thinking, and decided to go to

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find a professional therapist. I had finally realized that my different very real dreams were in fact hallucinations, and I needed serious psychological help. It was probably the onset of hypertension, or early age diabetes. But I wondered for a moment if I was still hallucinating. I decided to pinch myself in the arm. I didn't feel a thing. But I was enormous, so I strongly pinched my finger. Yep, that hurt. I stood up, and looked around the restaurant. But maybe it wasn't I had indeed been drugged after all. So, I sat back down, and waited. The waitress was not comming. I thought maybe I should admit myself to the hospital, it would be quick.
"What the fuck does it take to get some coffee around here?" I yelled at my waitress in the distance.
She pretended not to hear me.
It was then, that I stood up, went behind the counter, and

[edited by - Lohrno on April 22, 2002 9:26:36 PM]

that coffee is not what it seems! coffee is narcotics mixed with a dash of caffiene! it does not come from coffee beans, as i was told on the hackers digest! after this, i now realized why i failed every test at work... I decided to stop drinking coffee and buy some red bullshit! Red bullshit gives you weeeings! But as i approached the counter..

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[edited by - penguin on April 22, 2002 9:52:08 PM]

[edited by - penguin on April 22, 2002 9:52:44 PM]