Quote: This is an extract of an National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Army Lieutenant General Reinwald about sponsoring a Boy Scout Troop on his military installation. Female Interviewer: "So, Lt. Reinwald, what are you going to do with these young boys on their adventure holiday?" Lt. Reinwald: "We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting." Female Interviewer: "Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?" Lt. Reinwald: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the range." Female Interviewer: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?" Lt. Reinwald: "I don't see how, we will be teaching them proper range discipline before they even touch a firearm." Female Interviewer: "But you're equipping them to become violent killers." LTG Reinwald: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?"
Best Comeback Lines
In this thread, you post the best comeback line or retort. Whether you actually said it yourself or not is immaterial; whether it's funny or not is highly relevant, however. =)
I'll start. This one's an urban legend and not a true event, but funny nonetheless:
haha, that's great!
Heard a good one today actualy:
This older bloke saw this mohawk dude and stared at him for a while. So the mohawk goes:
- what the fuck are you staring at!?
and the guy replied:
- I'm not sure. Gotta check it up in my bird-book when I get home.
/Mindwipe
Heard a good one today actualy:
This older bloke saw this mohawk dude and stared at him for a while. So the mohawk goes:
- what the fuck are you staring at!?
and the guy replied:
- I'm not sure. Gotta check it up in my bird-book when I get home.
/Mindwipe
Quote:
Washington Post article... the title of the article was "Best Comeback Line Ever."
In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dracula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday.
Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need."
"I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him.
"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor.
"I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin."
Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.
"I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?'
He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there and then looked me straight in the face and said:
"A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?"
Winston Churchill is the man when it comes to these.
Or something along those lines, there was little consistency between the sources I could find.
Quote:
Lady Astor: "Mr. Churchill you're drunk!"
Churchill: "And you, Lady Astor, are ugly. As for my condition, it will pass by the morning."
Quote:
Lady Astor: "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your tea."
Churchill: "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
Or something along those lines, there was little consistency between the sources I could find.
I was walking home with a mate and his girlfriend many years back now, and we were talking about pets...
her : yeah, my hamsters rock
me : put some folded paper under one leg then...
It took her about 20mins to work out wtf I was on about and I nearly died laffin watching her trying to figure it out..
her : yeah, my hamsters rock
me : put some folded paper under one leg then...
It took her about 20mins to work out wtf I was on about and I nearly died laffin watching her trying to figure it out..
I called my brother-in-law about something completely unrelated to espionage, yet decided to answer his "hello?" with "The goose flies at midnight." Without missing a beat, he responds with "The fat man walks alone."
Not exactly a comeback, but it's damn quick-witted.
Not exactly a comeback, but it's damn quick-witted.
Them:<Anything goes here>
You: "Your mother's a whore!"
Yeah, that retort works in any situation.[wink]
You: "Your mother's a whore!"
Yeah, that retort works in any situation.[wink]
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