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I have been a frequent lurker on these forums for a very long time. I made an account probably two years after lurking to ask some silly questions and get my creative juices flowing. I have since then, it feels like, logged on annually to try to spark some motivation to move forth in my education in programming/game design!
Every year I fail.
But, for the obvious reasons, I keep coming back every year to look, read and stare at my silly post. My feelings swell back up with desire and I instantly feel sad because, "Well, I guess this is never going to happen...no since in coming back here, reading and pretending like I'm ever going to move forth with these ideas....*sigh*".
It has been six years since I started my military career and I have been told I'm on the "fast track" to success because I have moved up in rank at a fairly fast rate. I don't mind what I do but it leaves me feeling unsatisfied. I love the people I work with/meet and if it wasn't for them I would have left during my first contract. I love teaching and tutoring others with the knowledge that I have learned while being in. During my six years I laid out my goals in a very clear and tangible time line. I met every milestone, sometimes early, sometimes late, and feel very empowered by this but still left unsatisfied. I'm starting my masters degree in a few months and that doesn't excite me.
I'm starting a similar long term and short term goals list that has to do with programming and game design. I'm not naive in the sense that I'm going to be cranking out my dream game in no time but I also want to start making strides towards it. Even if I don't end up with an amazing polished product, I think it will be one hell of a journey and something that I can look back on glad that I manned up and set forth on doing something that really makes me happy.
Or not. I may quickly find out that programming and game design is garbage and I'm just not cut out for this.
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