I'm confused by this whole thread. All answers are met with scorn, and the OP already seems to know what languages he doesnt want to use.
Because there is no need for 50 different replies saying "you can't do this". Really, ok, everyone thinks the guy can't do this, there is no need for everyone to come and say that he cant do this, 5 times, each person, for real. Two pages of "this is too big for you". Sorry for the offtopicness but this is just bad. Ok, the op didnt actually behave well, but oh my god...