However, I did have another Windows duh moment. I should have known that Windows XP has built-in ClearType support, but didn't realize it until I stumbled across the option. If you aren't familiar with ClearType, it's just Microsoft's brand of subpixel antialiasing, which makes text look better, especially on most full-sized LCD displays. Maybe everyone knows this already or they don't use XP any place, but, since it made me a little happier, here's how to enable ClearType in XP:
Control Panel > Appearance and Themes* > Display > Appearance tab > Effects... > "Use the following method to smooth edges of screen fonts: ClearType"
(*Skip this step if using Classic View)