Getting through a 3 hour movie

You know those special panties for kids who wet their bed at night?
Wear one of those

Do what I do, piss on the seat/guy in front of you. That always gets a good laugh.

It would be funny if right before you died you realised how much time you wasted pondering a trivial thing like going to the bathroom midway through a movie, and how shamelessly you asked about it on a public forum.

EDIT: anyhow, I lost my dignity long ago. So what you do is just pee in the cup that your beverage came in. That way, you'll know that you can't overflow, b/c it's impossible to piss out more than you drink.

[edited by - temp_ie_cant_thinkof_name on December 16, 2003 11:51:26 PM]

Actually, I''ve had a lot of experience with this problem. Fortunately, I had my methods perfected by the time I saw The Matrix Reloaded. Here is a brief summary of my method.

Go ahead and get anything you want to eat/drink.
When you need to excuse yourself to the bathroom...

1) before the movie starts, scout out the area. Find the shortest path to a bathroom. If you''re lucky, the theater will be located near one.

2) When you absolutely can''t hold it anymore, inform your neighbor to begin memorizing all important details and/or funny lines, depending on your preferences.

3) Make your way to the exit closest to your desired path, keeping your eyes on the movie at all times. This one is tricky, and may require some pre-film rehearsal.

4) When your view is nearly eclipsed, assume a runner''s stance, and sprint to the restroom. (Note that you should run as fast as you can without injuring others or inducing bladder eruption.)

5) If you''re comfortable. begin undoing your belt and pants the second you enter the restroom. Since you will be in the most popular movie being shown, the restrooms will be relatively empty.

6) Proceed to do your business. I''ll leave this one alone...

7) Wash your hands (cause seriously, it would be gross if you didn''t) and dry them in the open air as you sprint back to your seat.

8) Gather the information you missed as you continue watching the movie. This will require you to split your attention between your friend and the movie, so choose an informant who can summarize wizely.

With this method, I successfully escaped to the restroom during the Matrix Reloaded and missed only Trinity and Neo staring at eachother and one sappy I love you line.

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Build a man a fire and you''ll keep him warm for a night.
Set a man on fire and you''ll keep him warm for the rest of his life.

^^ um yea, do what he said

pi_equals_3 has got the technique down.

Holy. Yea, What he said.

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Eh. I just don''t get the drink and popcorn. pi_equals_3 has obviously honed his technique more than I could be bothered to though

I''m seeing RotK tomorrow too. So we''ll just see how that works

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Jesus saves ... the rest of you take damage.
"A page of history is worth a volume of logic." -- Oliver Wendell Holmes

quote:

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Original post by pi_equals_3
Actually, I''ve had a lot of experience with this problem. Fortunately, I had my methods perfected by the time I saw The Matrix Reloaded. Here is a brief summary of my method.

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I managed to get through that movie without problem. One hour more would probably be when I really need to go, so maybe it will end at that moment. I''ll also try rationing my drink and save most of it for the end.

Also, some condom brands say they can hold up to 1 litre of liquid in them...

Um, just go before the movie. You shouldn''t have to go for at least another 6 hours...

Seriously...

Don''t drink much for about two hours before the movie. Make sure you go once or twice right before the movie.

Get your drink.

Sip it slowly - don''t drink it all in the first twenty minutes.

You should be able to make it through the movie without any great discomfort.

quote:

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Original post by cowsarenotevil
Um, just go before the movie. You shouldn''t have to go for at least another 6 hours...

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Geez, 6 hours?
If I drink like I normally would, I need to go every three or four hours on average.
There''s no telling how much a movie sized drink would throw that off. (I mean come on, only an extra quarter for the gallon sized drink )

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Build a man a fire and you''ll keep him warm for a night.
Set a man on fire and you''ll keep him warm for the rest of his life.

quote:

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Original post by pi_equals_3

quote:

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Original post by cowsarenotevil
Um, just go before the movie. You shouldn''t have to go for at least another 6 hours...

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Geez, 6 hours?
If I drink like I normally would, I need to go every three or four hours on average.
There''s no telling how much a movie sized drink would throw that off. (I mean come on, only an extra quarter for the gallon sized drink )

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Perhaps I have a higher, um, capacity than most people, but even with a movie-size drink I never need to go more than every six or seven hours.

The key to avoiding bathroom trips is not breaking the seal before you go in, a fatal mistake!

Breakig the seal means the first piss of the day/night/session.

I don''t know if it''s a concept anywhere else, but over in the UK, ''breaking the seal'' is something you avoid doing til as late as possible on a night out on the beers.

Once the seal is broken you see, you will then have to go again after each pint. Before you break the seal though, you can last up to 3 or sometimes more pints before you need to go for that initial slash.

So the key is not to drink too much before you go into the movie, but do not break the seal before you go in, otherwise you''ll be out again within minutes if you buy a large drink.

HEED.

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(Warning: Spoilers above)

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well, you just have to wait for the break in the middle of the movie. that''s what I did yesterday.

I just got home from it. Thumbs up to the third movie!

But now it's 4:00 AM... I need sleep.


EDIT: as related to this thread. I went just before the movie, and I consumed 4 soft drinks while in the movie, 2 of them near the beginning, and I was able to comfortably hold it until I got home. (Drive was 20 minutes + 10 minutes of getting to car through crowd).

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Far too much time has passed
For us to lament that we were in love.

[edited by - Senses777 on December 17, 2003 7:12:21 AM]

My method is pretty simple really.

Pause button and a DVD.

*shrug* I''ve never liked going out to the movies so I stay in... Works for me!