I don't want to get too over dramatic, before I get advice let me provide a little background info.

I had two very good friends in college, lets call them Chandler and Rachel . Long story short, we sort of lost contact after awhile. Both of them went on to University, and that's when our relationship slowly started to deteriorate. You see Chandler was around me too much. I didn't know how to tell him in a friendly way that sometimes I need space for myself. We got into an argument one time because I came home from school and was very tired. He said that I always leave him after we chat only for a few minutes (This was back in the day when MSN messenger was still around, so when I say chat, I mean by computer). While in university, his attitude sort of changed from friendly guy to being sort of tough. I guess he felt he didn't people to push him around. Rachel, she was more friendly, and has a sense of humor. I attempted to reconnect with her before, and she was funny about it, but again we lost contact. She lives close by, I sometimes used to see her when she was taking the bus to school. If I suggest we meet for a cup of coffee, I don't see her saying no.

I wanted to reconnect with them because my life is slow. Other than job searching, there isn't much too do. I go outside for walks, and yard work from time to time, but overall I'm not that happy. I was really good, and quite happy when I had my friends, more specifically Chandler and Rachel.

My real issue is, when she asks me what I've been up too? What should I say? I don't want to reconnect with them and have them think that I'm only using them to get a job and then dump again when I have a decent career. I don't mind reconnecting with Rachel, and then maybe with time reconnect with Chandler.

So you want to reconnect with friends you previously 'dumped' because... your life is slow?

So you want to reconnect with friends you previously 'dumped' because... your life is slow?

I didn't dump them in the first place. I was happy when I was with them.

My real issue is, when she asks me what I've been up too? What should I say? I don't want to reconnect with them and have them think that I'm only using them to get a job and then dump again when I have a decent career.

When they ask, you catch them up. Along the lines of

"Oh, lots has happened since college. I drifted for a bit, then settled down in Fooville. I'm now married and have 17 children. Yeah, I know. I worked for Amalgamated Analogs making widgets for three years, then moved over to Compworks Conglomerated making cogs for five years. I was just laid off, which sucks..."

You also listen to what they did.

You don't have to be close friends, but checking in occasionally is good for social circles. There are several people I have talked with where we really only catch each other up on each other's birthdays (thanks facebook!) but the twice-yearly catching up is enough to keep the relationship from dying.

Relationships change as you age. You can remain in contact with formerly close friends and still rely on the friendship. I've got several friendships from childhood that even though I haven't met personally with for many years, yet we all know we're still there for each other if needed through semi-annual chats. They may not live in your town or meet with you near-daily, but they can still remain friends.

I've found that there are 2 types of people in the world when it comes to friendships.

There are those that are your friends and no matter how long it's been they are happy to see you and catchup / hangout. They are understand that life is busy and so are they, so when the time come to hang out then all is cool and the convo is better because you have more to discuss.

Then there are those who get offended if you don't call them every month - this just pisses me off. There are people i invited to my wedding and you know, after a wedding you just want to chillax and get some alone time with your wife. Then you run into that person at the pub and its like they cant wait to get away because they see it as a waste of time.

Its unfortunate that you cant tell which group someone is in until you invest a lot of time into that person.