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TheLiamEnterprise

DORU an idea i'm brewing up just need opiniouns

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Doru on a quest to save her father from the hands of  slave masters and a jealous god. As she embarks on her journey, she unveils the mysteries of her life together with the hidden truth of her birth and how she's a demi goddess. Now, Doru must save not just her father but her people and as she treads on a path filled with dangers,and thrilling adventures she meets with dark magic other demi gods demons and spirits. with a shocking betrayal.

i'm thinking rpg mechanics with a small amount of fantasy what do you guys think i'm just starting ... i've already written the entire story line would be way too long if i wrote it all on here....

PS: i'm still working on a name but i kinda like this one

Edited by Tom Sloper
removed wording that could be construed as recruiting

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This is so lacking in detail for story that I can't really say anything except anything can happen. It could end up being great or horrible. What you've presented was an idea with what's what and the main protagonist's name without the when, how, why, and some who's. I'm not asking for the whole story, but some more details would be better to grasp this idea further. How did Doru's father get separated from Doru thanks to the slave masters and a god? What should Doru save her people from after learning that she's a demi-goddess? Why tell us there's a shocking betrayal if we have no idea about it? That just makes us expect someone to betray Doru at any moment now.

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Well Geonamic it's really complicated but i'm thinking on setting it to be based on during the colonial era ,and as for how she got separated from her father when her father told her to hide during the invasion/raid, joining the fight to defend his village and his people in the process her father was taken as a prisoner. After learning she's a demi goddess she has to save her people from the One only known as Umermu (In my Language Means The Wicked one) who wants to sacrifice her father and enslave her peoples soul for all eternity, and the betrayal comes at the end which is a satisfying end but can also lead to a sequel...

 

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That's somewhat better in detail. Still don't have enough who's, like who is doing the invasion/raid? Is that the British since you mentioned the colonial era? You really shouldn't talk about the surprise, like I recommended in my last post, because again, we're going to expect it, and it's going to lose all of its surprise if you're aiming it to be a surprise. Also, I don't think sequel bait endings are a good idea, especially since it's not guaranteed a ton of people will like the game enough to play a sequel. For sequels, I'd wait on if this game receives positive criticism first, and then start planning for the sequel.

Edited by Geonamic

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Well I'm still thinking of who but I don't want to offend anyone or come of as a racist any suggestions on that part. so I should keep the surprise a secret ,and I'm still working on names of different characters and am doing some research also but I'm not looking for something history accurate, thanks for your feed back.☺

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If you are going to say the British are invading, that's not racist because that actually happened in history. Same thing if you were thinking about African Americans being enslaved by Caucasians during that time because that also happened. Many AAA games out there are perfectly acceptable with representing the gross reality of history because they were based on true events. Yes, keep the surprise a secret, and you should edit those mentions out, like I'll be editing my mention of it out after this post. You don't have to be super historically accurate. Some resemblance is enough to get people into the mindset that this is happening during so-and-so time period.

EDIT: I was going to edit the mention of said surprise out of my first post in this thread, but it seems like I can't without hiding the whole thing... Welp.

Edited by Geonamic

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12 hours ago, TheLiamEnterprise said:

kinda new here how do i edit my post lol

 

On desktop, there should be a blue-highlighted "Edit" word right between your post and your signature, but it seems like you have a timer on being able to edit posts because I can't seem to edit my most recent post... :/

I'm not sure how it is on mobile or any other device. I tried the mobile version of this site, and everything seemed so much harder to work.

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