Diamonds and dust are what I crave
When I end the end the game is how I play
In the telemarketer’s colosseum
I fight for the intrepid decor of my way
Too many times have a victim been accused abused and bruised by the wicked ways of love
Top of the attic at grandma’s house I don’t want to touch insulation, please don’t shove me down
Down down down
Consumed by the pain, needing your needle in my brain
Why do we have to dream of crickets and sandles?
People eat tacos with mayo if they’re white enough
Lavish no more in the lavender bath of time
For I have found a new well of water in the back of my mind
Steam of semen lines the walls of my mouth
As I choke the aspirations of my inner child away
I murder my youth because I no longer may have it though I want it
Milk and cookies and coloring pictures building paper houses and playing games in the lawn and in the house and the silliness of an earlier time a happier time an innocent time not properly enjoyed in the cosmic sense of time.
How I wish I could persevere in a normal world
But I cannot because it just sucks every day no matter how hard I try to make it right I always fall on my ass.
No more will I wake up with a fake smile, maybe I can fool myself to get through the week as I work my inner soul away
Primal urges I don’t understand with my dick in my hands
What is wrong? What is right? What would she think if I told her? Am I a freak? Why doesn’t the local store sell condoms? Should I ask her even though she’s crazy. I don’t know what I want.
I’m a good man inside though I may not show it. I’ll put up her shoes and clean off the counter top.
I hope her mind is as good as her body but where am I operating at? Is my waveform heaven or hell or neither since they don’t exist? Do I interpret the images of my brain within the context of good taste or should I abandon the values bestowed upon me at my inception at the culdesac next to the school. I get M&M’s today for being good in class, I got both stamps but I still cried because I was mad. Now I’m older again, I wasn’t for a second but I’m back with my Samsung instead of Panasonic. Forgive me for getting this, but I figured I’d borrow your attention and ask for your affection. I need you to sympathize with my cause, but I don’t want your pity. Please understand me when I tell you this because I don’t know what else to do at this hour of night. Trap the fly in the wax paper so he can’t get out while I watch Star Wars through the Christmas tree ornaments. I get camouflage sleeping pants. I think they’re girly. I get over it. Too many catalogs and not much work but I guess there wasn’t a dead grandpa yet. I guess I was an old soul a young mind and body that needed nourishment. Believe in dreams because they’re real. Do not listen to the lizard king, he’s not really a poet, he’s just trying to get you to believe in his drunk revolution. Boom boom goes the TV. War is on all the time because love is only popular in December. Hope all goes well when you’re wrapping your presents because Santa is coming. I saw the special sneaking downstairs that morning and I don’t know what it is and I never will. Stupid song. I still remember, not sure why. Minute detail in a huge life. Perhaps we can get together and hug with peace and love and we could try to understand each other instead of fighting because fighting is stupid and gay. Raw emotion and dealing with UNO cards when the toilets won’t work and the cable goes out, not stealing it. The Crow is on the wall, I fall down on accident and am mortified. But no one sees except Adam so it’s okay because he thinks it’s normal and shit. Haven’t seen him in years. Bit of a weirdo. Not my friend, but I don’t really know him so there is that. Maybe he’s a good guy at heart. I shouldn’t have told him about the jelly roll. Bad idea that I regret but my nose felt funny at that time of year when I started getting cold and that was still special but the bird is out of the nest and is a bitch. I’m on the swing but I didn’t ask but I did ask but she didn’t hear and said yes but not me but I thought to me. Too bad.