Need Help Writing A Storyline For My Game (Stuck)
Gilgamesh, Enkidu, I dig the ancient mythology referenc[s]e[/s]s. Ai, I find the meme of a competitive woman who has to define herself as better than a man tiring and loathsome. Please don't inflict this kind of gender stereotyping on all the would-be women gamers. How about she's just violent and angry and not particularly noble? Aito, fine, "noble" Wing Chun, whatever. I think it's more about beating people up in phone booths, but.... David, I guess there's nothing complicated about that, so it can work. Mali Mali, I really don't buy that she's gonna watch Enkidu dismember her father and not blame him at all. Total baloney.
I'm sorry you find the idea of a woman who takes great pride in her skills unappealing. It wasn't an attempt at stereotype (nor do I feel that it qualifies as such) so much as it was an attempt to depict a very headstrong, skilled young woman. In all honesty I basically just depicted a female Bruce Lee.
[quote name='bvanevery']
Mali Mali, I really don't buy that she's gonna watch Enkidu dismember her father and not blame him at all. Total baloney
I like to think people can be complicated sometimes, they don't always focus their hatred on the single most visible person. I guess I should have mentioned that Mali Mali is actually in her twenties, and she's heard most of the rumors about Enkidu; she thought she was dead the moment she saw him. I tried to mix in a little of the complexity behind something like Stockholm Snydrome. She sees Enkidu as a fellow fighter, recognizes that he actually has a style, and sees not pity, but great remorse in his eyes. It's not that she isn't mad at him, but she wants to believe he isn't at fault, and wants to forgive him.
[quote name='bvanery']I think it's more about beating people up in phone booths[/quote]
It sounded to me like a more basic beat-em-up as well, but what's the point of having fifteen playable characters if they all have the same move list? What's the point of having any story if its just Little Fighters all over again? I just thought it would be a fun thing to write and hoped that it would help the original poster come up with some ideas; I'm sorry you disliked my post that much.
It wasn't an attempt at stereotype (nor do I feel that it qualifies as such) so much as it was an attempt to depict a very headstrong, skilled young woman. In all honesty I basically just depicted a female Bruce Lee.
The line I object to is, "Like always, when a man fails to clean up a mess it's time for a woman to show him how it's done." If you dropped that sort of thinking, I wouldn't object. It's very tiresome to hear about women who think they're better than men, or have to compare themselves to men. She's a fighter, she should only care about whether people can fight.
something like Stockholm Snydrome[/quote]
What you wrote isn't Stockholm Syndrome though. She's not being held hostage, she has her father brutally murdered in front of her. I'd suggest doing some research on those kinds of traumas before trying to sell them. This doesn't basically pass the smell test. The only way I'm seeing it work is if she didn't actually like her Dad all that much and thought he was in the wrong somehow.
more about beating people up in phone booths
It sounded to me like a more basic beat-em-up as well, but what's the point of having fifteen playable characters if they all have the same move list? What's the point of having any story if its just Little Fighters all over again?[/quote]
I think the point is whether one dabbles in cliches or not. It's hard for me to accept the meme of Wing Chun as "noble" given that I trained in it for 3 years. It's a practical street fighting style, in the sense that novices could learn how to fight relatively quickly compared to other more esoteric kung fu styles. Also there is the theory of Red Boat Wing Chun, that some of it may have come from fighting on boats on rivers. Particularly the long pole form. This just isn't adding up to Shaolin Temple and all the usual noble self-depreciating yadda yadda. Wing Chun is about kicking butt; even modern practitioners like Emin Boztepe would agree to that. And certainly Bruce Lee thought that way before he went off and made Jeet Kune Do.
I'm sorry you disliked my post that much.[/quote]
I dislike parts of your concepts. That's not the same thing as disliking that you posted.
I see your point about Ai's comment; I was just trying to give her some arrogant things to say (as is befitting of the character I'm trying to portray), and not a quote which made her seem to claim that women were better than men--her only belief is that she's the greatest, better than anyone. Obviously Kung Fu can be used for many things; Ai wants to use it to kick the crap out of people and show her superiority, but with Aito I'm trying to lean on the movie stereotype of the wise martial artist who practices as a way of life and would rather sip tea than fight. With Mali Mali there is some doubt about her father--she knows about the gang wars. When they ended her father took her and they abandoned their home and went into hiding, so she suspects he may have been a criminal of some sort (if the story were to get complex enough Enkidu would refuse to tell her who her father was, then Gilgamesh would show up and announce that he was one of the fallen crime lords or something like that... maybe he's one of the guys who hired David).
Your thoughts on Mali Mali improve the situation, but it is still just intellectual. Having your father murdered in front of you is visceral. She's not in a position at that time to receive intellectual materials about why it's "ok" for him to be murdered. From her perspective, Daddy died. I say she has to either already know something creepy about Daddy, or not like Daddy, for this to work. You can't just info dump this stuff later when Gilgamesh finally shows up.
Here's a thought: make Mali Mali one of 29 brothers and sisters. It happened a lot in Roman royal families who were vying to be Emperor. Your "son" is hardly a big deal when you got him by sticking your pee-pee into whatever you felt like at the time.
Here's a thought: make Mali Mali one of 29 brothers and sisters. It happened a lot in Roman royal families who were vying to be Emperor. Your "son" is hardly a big deal when you got him by sticking your pee-pee into whatever you felt like at the time.
I never said she wouldn't beat the absolute crap out of him; just that she's willing to show him the same mercy that he showed her. Yes he was the tool that brutally murdered her father, but it wouldn't be the first time that someone was more concerned with the man that gave the order. If it hadn't been Enkidu it would have been someone else, and they may not have relented.
I never said she wouldn't beat the absolute crap out of him; just that she's willing to show him the same mercy that he showed her.
I'm not sure why. Sounds like typical good guy Justice League type stuff; we do this because it is a stereotype to reciprocate, not because it makes any kind of tactical or emotional sense. I feel the experience of having one's father murdered is being made very cheap here. No big deal, you feel sorry + horny for the killer for some reason... that logic could work if the treatment of the entire game was totally surreal. Like, nothing quite functions in reality as we know it. All just some big Oedipal sexual innuendo.
Yes he was the tool that brutally murdered her father, but it wouldn't be the first time that someone was more concerned with the man that gave the order.[/quote]
Dirty Harry would kill the assassin, then kill the man who gave the order. Doesn't matter what he's "concerned" about.
If it hadn't been Enkidu it would have been someone else, and they may not have relented.
[/quote]
That's all head space. What ideal is so important to Ming Ming that it overcomes any common sense notion of vengeance? Short of a religious imperative I'm just not seeing this. Even that would have to be sold to a skeptical audience.
Perhaps Mali Mali's father was molesting her and that's why he [Enkidu] killed him. So, she see's Enkidu as a hero and not a villain. And she feels like getting him away from his boss will 'help' him? IDK just throwing out an alternative.
i have ur answer .......shut the door of ur room turn off the light burn some ganja..and ill guaratee..... u you will have it all figured out !)...
ur welcome bra! )
ur welcome bra! )
Super Quick Summary: Clyde, a person who believes that the planet is rotten, he doesn't want to rule the world he just wants it destroyed completely. He's planning on making contact with the core of the earth to make magma flow from it, but he alone is not capable of doing so, so he made a deal with the Aamon the God of Destruction that if he's capable of killing 14 of the strongest fighters on the planet that he shall set the world aflame and burn it all to ash. Aamon wants this so he amplifies Clydes physical abilities and gives him demonic powers, but Clyde knows very little of the power of other fighters around the earth and if the fighters happen to destroy or kill Clyde, they will have one wish granted. So in the end Clyde only has one thing to win, the humans have 2 things to win, the safety of their planet and any wish of their desire. pretty sweet eh?
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