Now then, I'm always one to look upon the holiday season with optimism, and I'm not one to grow depressed at the sight of unbridled commerce. According to Fox News, this means that I'm waging a "war on Christmas, but I digress".

Anyway, I have a funny story. As pointed out last week, I just turned 40. My inlaws always make a point of forgetting my birthday. Mind you, they don't actually forget my birthday. This is clear for two reasons. . .

1. My birthday is eight days before their daughter's.
2. For the past several years they've called Shelly ON MY BIRTHDAY to wish HER a happy birthday and to ask "isn't John's birthday sometime soon? We're so bad at remembering those things."

This year they did the same "Oh we forgot. We're just flaky that way. Aren't we CUTE?" that they've done for the past several years. This year, though, they sent me an e-card after finding out that they once again missed my birthday.

. . .and it was thrown out by my spam filter before I could read it.

Dang, there's an O Henry play in there somewhere!

Now then, an e-card is the shallowest of gifts. It's the gift that says "I think so little of you that I can't even be bothered to spend 39 cents on a stamp". And if you ever feel the pull to send someone an e-card, just don't do it. All it does is underline the fact that you're a bit too wrapped up in yourself to make even the minisculest effort for someone else.

Sorry John. I couldn't be bothered to spend ten minutes of my time and 39 cents out of my pocket to send you a note saying Happy 40th Birthday. Instead, here's a link to a bitmap and a couple of banner-ads to get me off the hook for another year.

The capper, though, happened yesterday. Shelly's mom called her up to ask for my shirt-size so she could go to JC Pennys and get me a gift. Shelly suggested that she instead just get me a JC Pennys gift-card so I could get my own shirt.

Mom-in-law's reply?

"Are you sure? Gift cards just seem kinda thoughtless."

Heh heh.



I hope it's not coming off like I'm upset about this. Honestly, I'm 40 years old now. I know Santa Claus isn't real and I really don't need any new toys. If you wanna completely blow me off for birthdays and such, I'm not gonna become one of those redemption-requiring "they forgot my birthday" kids that you see on Sitcom Plot #167.

I just find it humorous that someone who less than a week after sending very possibly the Least Thoughtful Birthday Acknowledgement In The Universe(tm) is suddenly concerned about her gifts appearing thoughtless.

I ain't offended. I'm just amused.